Hi Gratefully Unstuck! I faced a similar situation when I was divorcing my JW husband. We were married 18 years and I had had enough of his lies and cavorting with other women. I took what I thought was supporting evidence to the elders of his infidelity, such as emails, phone records, hotel receipts, etc so as to obtain a scriptural divorce. Oh no ma'am, they refused to accept it or even look at it and said unless he came to them to confess, I would NOT get a scriptural divorce and to consider staying with him. Well, I divorced him anyway. After I began dating a "worldly" man a few months later, I went to the elders and said we needed to meet for a judicial committee hearing. I told them that unlike my ex-husband I was not a hypocrite and they were going to have to disfellowship me. They tried for HOURS to get me to repent and I told them that I was done and needed to have this discipline (looking back it was my way of getting out and relieving my mind controlled conscience.) My ex had moved out of state about a year prior to our divorce and was not associating with the Witnesses there. Then after he moved back he switched to another congregation after he began dating a Witness (good thing I freed him so he could move on too, right?). Nothing was ever done to him. The JW'S are so caught up in their Pharasaical rules that they figure out how to dance through the loopholes all this legalistic crap creates.
On a side note, after 7 years and not one elder sheparding call, I get a phone call from the P.O. to come see me. I said yes because I wanted to have them hear my reasons for leaving. They came and had the same rhetoric to return to Jehovah and his true organization, blah, blah, blah. I told them I didn't have a problem with the people of the congregation. My problem was with the Organization and leaders' direction on matters such as molestation, changes in organizational protocols and how they use questionable means to obtain spiritual light to mislead the masses. They asked what I meant. I asked them if they had ever heard of Johannes Greber? They shook their heads no. I said you need to research him because the society used his translation of the Bible to support the NWT translation rendering of John 1:1, and his wife channelled the translation from the spirit world. They looked like I had 3 heads. LOL I also mentioned the dates of '75 and how no reputable scholar accepts the destruction of Jerusalem at 607 BCE and how if they took away that date of 607, then 1914 falls apart. If 1914 falls apart the very foundation upon which JW Organization is built upon crumbles. But before they left, I told them that unlike my ex who is now 'strong in the truth', I had received my discipline from Jehovah and as Psalms says, "For whom Jehovah loves he disciplines." My ex never received his discipline, so what does that tell you about whom is loved by God? LOL Needlesstosay, they were speechless and couldn't get out of my house fast enough.
So just know you can't "make" the elders or family of your cheating husband acknowledge or accept anything other than what the status quo is for them...hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. But it's all good because you are awake and free from their mind control. I promise, it's all going to work out for your good...take care!
