Do you want them to leave?

by comment 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • comment
    comment

    Tonight, Memorial night, I was thinking about what some people have said about helping their families to see the "truth about the truth."

    I've felt for some time that it may be preferable for my mother and father to remain Witnesses, to be honest. My mother grew up with it, while my dad got involved in the late 1980's. Knowing how they are and how much of their lives and social circle revolve around being Witnesses, I fear that they would fall into a massive, terrible depression if they were ever to conclude that it's not "the truth."

    In this scenario, obviously I would just hope that things remain "static" and that their being Witnesses wouldn't have a major negative impact in an unforeseen way (i.e. being in a position where they felt they had to refuse blood transfusions).

    If in fact they do ever leave, I guess I don't want to be the one who lays the material in front of them as a "shock to the system." I would prefer them to find it out themselves. It's not all inherently a big secret. They can (and do) go to the public library; they own all the same Watchtower literature as I do and can read those articles. (In my mother's case, she would have seen them all when they came out! I guess there's just such a torrent of new literature that you rarely have time to go back and check this stuff.)

    My sister is a different story. She is a very intelligent young woman with great potential, and I would hate to see her waste it as some elder's wife or cleaning woman/regular pioneer. But again, I don't feel comfortable being the "instigator of her doubt." I would hope that her own literacy, reasoning abilities and sense of when things are right and when they're not (plus her relatively frequent use of the Internet) will eventually help her to make a decision that won't lock her into the Witnesses. Some people can be quite happy living as a Witness. I wasn't--I don't think it's set up well for a personality such as myself (this is regardless of whether it's 100 percent true or 100 percent false). And I don't think she will be happy in there either, in the long term.

    One way or another, like most other people on this board, I would like the Society to back off in terms of the self-righteousness and harsh disfellowshipping policies, so that (even if they don't accept it) my parents and other Witnesses can be more accepting of people's right to choose to live their lives differently.

    Anyway, off I go to the Memorial. My personal position is that keeping my family intact is more important than making a statement about the Society or their teachings. So, though inactive, I'll do what's necessary to keep the lines of communication open, and it makes them feel better if I go to the Memorial. I understand where other people are coming from on this, though.

    comment

  • JT
    JT

    comment says:

    Anyway, off I go to the Memorial. My personal position is that keeping my family intact is more important than making a statement about the Society or their teachings. So, though inactive, I'll do what's necessary to keep the lines of communication open, and it makes them feel better if I go to the Memorial. I understand where other people are coming from on this, though.

    *********

    i think that i can speak for most of us here we in no way condemn what you are doing- we all have to deal with this matter in accord with what is best for us-

    and what you are doing many of us know of others who at this point in thier life is doing the exact same thing

    wish you well

    james

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    Comment, I appreciate your thoughts on this. For some I don't think it's necessarily wise to coerce them to leave. However, in your sister's case it may be okay to ask honest questions. I think any honest person will eventually process that in their mind and THEY will be the one to take any action, just be there to support them when they do. But I think I am basically on the same page with you there. Fortunately none of my family is in the organization, but I have chosen not to disassociate myself for the same reason.

  • VeniceIT
    VeniceIT

    I think we all feel compelled differentlt, depending on how we view the WT and being a JW. Some people feel they're JW's because well they want to be and yes, they can go to the library and read it. But here's my point. Until last March I had NO doubts whatsoever that JW's where Gods chosen people, It would never have occured to me to go read some book about it. I was extremely active as were my parents. It hit us like a bolt of lightening, so I agree that best case scenero is for someone to see it themselves. I don't beileve that people don't see it becuase they don't want to, that might be true but not for all, it certainly wasn't true in my case. Therefore I feel compelled to do what ever I can to plant those seeds of doubt. IF Paul and Peter and the others in the first century had just sat at home and said, well I hope they figure this out before 70CE, then there never would have been a Chrisitan movement. If you know somethings' wrong and don't tell how can you not feel guilty that they don't know??? I guess maybe that's just me I don't know. I'm not condeming anyone I hope it doesn't sound that way it's just that I am very passionate about the desire to be with my family and friends again soon. I want to do everthing I can to make that happen ASAP. It kills me that they are wasting all there time, money, and energy in a cult.

    I know people say that they don't think people they could the dissapointment, and the problems with leaving. Well, that should be there decision, but it should be a informed decision. If they don't know all the facts such as CofC for instance, then they are not making an informed decision. I LOST EVERYTHING I HAD EVER KNOWN except my parents. I pioneerd for 4 year and worked part time for dad I didn't know ANY 'worldy' people when I left. I loved with my parents for 5 months in and RV and then moved accross the country. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I'd never want to do it again. BUt I am so glad I did. I will never go, and I would go through it all again if it ment my freedom. I never knew how oppressed I was. So even if you lose friends and family, you are free to be yourself. As Jesus said, 'The Truth will set you free'.

    So do I want them to leave? More then anything, am I willing to help them of course, do I think others should to---ohhhh yaaaaa!

    Venice

  • willy_think
    willy_think

    comment,

    "My personal position is that keeping my family intact is more important than making a statement about the Society or their teachings. So, though inactive, I'll do what's necessary to keep the lines of communication open,"

    i found, that showing my family more then thay were ready to see did have a devasting effect. as long as the linse of communication are open you still have a family and a chance.

    the ideas and opinions expressed in this post do not necessiarly represent those of the WTB&TS inc. or any of it's subsidiary corporations.

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