by Englishman 33 Replies latest jw friends
Thanks Dannybear
It was difficult to put all of my feelings into words, but like I said, it was very liberating. And I meant every word of it.
Garybuss, I liked your reply also. You put it very succintly, if they suffer for their own choices, is that some else's fault? We cannot control their choices...we can only control what we do about them.
Tracy
Several years ago while I was still a JW, a friend, who considered herself "annointed", said to her son about his older brothers who had left the borg that "in the new system, she would not even remember them". One by one all four of her children left. Her husband divorced her and she is alone, looking forward to not remembering any of them. The borg trains them to be cold hearted and then they pay the price when the new system does not come and no one cares about them. Until their dying day, they are right. The borg says so.
Target
They were warned not to have children . . . to wait for the new world. But they had us anyway and in a way they felt guilty because they did. The Society always came first, before our rest, before our hunger, before our educations. They were warned by the Society that we would rebel and they tried to control us. They were told to discipline us and to not spare the rod and many of them were generous with the rod.
The Society was always between them and us and they told us that if we ever left "the truth" they would cast the first stone to kill us if it were legal. They were always ready emotionally to dispense with us and when the day came, they saw it as a test and many of them passed and they were glad. We never were really allowed to be important to them . . . just a project that went bad.
The Society has the truth . . . they must . . . and we were just another sign the end is near, a disappointment to their god, the Watch Tower. To quit shunning us would make them a failure too and now that they are so old "the truth" is all they have and they see their miserable life of abuse and neglect as successful and good. They are proud, they are poor, they are old, they have not seen the grand rewards they were promised and they see the reward now as death and a resurrection into a perfect replica body to live happily ever after in a park like the park across the road from their home, like the park we never had time to go to.
So they sit alone. They don't make many meetings now. They are too sick and tired. The phone sits on the table but it doesn't ring. The books they spanked us for not paying attention to at the book study have been packed away in a box in the attic for years now, all replaced by paperbacks with new ideas and color pictures.
Excellent Post Eman....there are so many lengthy replies here that I just have to print this off so that I can read it properly.
Firstly, I admire you for paying off your father's debt, you're a better person than I am. I wouldn't have given a fat rat's freckle myself. And like the others have said, most JW do not have a retirement fund...and many die pennyless. Inheriting debt isn't something that impresses me much.
I used to work for an agedcare home for the elderly owned by a JW. A lot of jw elderly folk ended up there...and they were nursed by caregivers who were mainly JW...and I recall the stories of how they would complain about the negligent care they were receiving from their worldly grown children...we were deeply saddened....but we were also very blind to the preceeding years. No one gave any thought as to how these faithful ones may have treated their worldly or DF sons and daughters over the years.
My jw mother is also relaxed regarding the shunning rule...which is the only thing saving her from ending up destitute as far as I am concerned. My DF brother shares a different view...he's better then I am...he's compassionate and kind and very tolerant. My heart has been hardened....and I have had more let downs over the years then he has.
No doubt, when push comes to shove, I'll have a change of heart.
~Beck~
Hello Englishmen...
I just read your post and was in awe and realized that so much of what was posted in reponse is my feelings to the tee.
When my mama shunned me this past August 30th,I removed her pictures that adorned my walls.I sent out sympathy cards to let others in my immediate family know that she chose once again her hovah over her own children.
So be it...
and Farkel could not have said it better
I quote:
"This may be considered harsh, but any parent who shuns his or her own child, doesn't deserve to receive anything from that child. I can think of no worse pain for a human being than to be totally rejected and treated as dead from that child's own parents"
Que Sera~
sOOner
Make my day~
10/4/2002
The phone rang today at 11am. It was mama.Of course I reconized her voice and listened to her.She said again how much she loves me and how things would and could be different.I was pleasant to her and told her I was fine.I also told her how depressed the news had made me and how I had overcome it.I told her that I was sure NOW more then ever that I would never accept a religion that destroyed family units.She said BRO had more or less told her that about me.
It was as loving conversation that is possible considering her main focus is honouring her hovah.She said she thinks of all of her girls and that her health was fair and she was taking her needed medications.She mentioned she had recieved a card (brief) from Karen/Sentinel and had spoken to Polly.She also felt that Polly did not want to be in the middle relaying messages and she understood that.I also informed her that Polly had been told by me before her call to her.The blow was softenned considerably.
She mentioned calling Karen/Sentinel and I told her to save her self being hurt and that I needed to discuss it first with her.I know how Karen/Sentinel feels about the situation and it could be a hurtful thing on both ends.I told mama I will continue to make her labels and such,write once in a while and call every so often.
I asked her how she felt about all of Abraham's people~Ismael and his descendants and Issac and his offspring and all the others before and after that do not carry the label of JW's and how did she believe they ALL would be destroyed????
Of course she said that is all in the written word and even if I did read it,I would not understand it because the light doth not shine on me....well La te da!
I thought to myself(just let it go).
I ended the conversation with my intent that she remains happy,content and steadfast in what makes her happy and fullfilled.I also let her know that I was NOW fine with her decision and what else could I be?
I also assured her of my unconditional love...after all isn't Universal unconditional Love and compassion what it is suppose to be ALL about???
It is her choice.I also said she is getting older and she mentioned how BRO had spoken to her and how it had made her realize that she cannot completely eliminate our responsilities to her.She is OUR mama.
She said our Uncle is much worse.
I have been just letting the days go and come and each day has been one of two things.Either I am very high on enlightment or I am very unconcerned.We each have to make our lives fit patterns that are useful and bring enjoyment to us.I want to show as much love and compassion that I am capable of showing.I apolized to mama for my behavior on first hearing the news.I did not apolize for how it made me feel.
I wake most mornings around 4:44 and I belch,fart and pour a glass of ice tea and think of dad:)That was three of his most favorite things:)
I am having the best of happy and loving dreams.I have been doing more things for my daughter,family and friends. It is in giving that we do recieve.
For me,hearing mama's voice made my day.
sOOner
@mikamouth...You have done well. You will be at peace. How sad for your brother he can't speak to you
