The Witness Emmy nominations were announced today ...
For best acting in a drama series
Elder Smith ... for his job in acting kind to the congregation and then going home to mentally torture his family
Sister Jones ... for her attempt to look shocked when the elders announced the DF'ing of Sister Adams, when she had been kept in the loop the whole time by her elder husband.
For best acting in a comedy series
The Pierce Family ... for saying that raising their children without a television kept them out of trouble. Their children Bob and Tammy will be watching the show from Prison, which is where they reside now after they were found guilty of selling crack cocaine.
The Campbell Family ... for showing the world that you really could find humor in clothing, as we watched their 10 year old son wear the suit they bought him when he was 6.
Best special affects
The Jones Home ... where they had the ability to hide all their X rated movies by simple placing them behind their Witness books.
The Carr Home ... where they learned away to hide the bruises on their daughter, and still get dad appointed as a elder
The winners will be announced in court, I mean in a assembly at the next District Convention. Be sure to dress for the occasion, with boring ties, long dresses, and by no means should there be a lot of skin showing. Prayer will be handed by Brother Alias, who as you all know won for Best Acting in a Mini-Series last year for his cover-up of sleeping with his girlfriend and still being allowed to get married in the Kingdom Hall. The host will be Brother Kritter, who has always humored us over the years with his lack of science knowledge in his Sunday talks and his inability to speak the English language well.
So come one and come all, or we will disfellowship you. To the Witness Emmy's ... coming soon to a meeting near you.
Just having fun
Dragon
Edited by - kenpodragon on 19 July 2002 0:56:48