A Time to Heal.....even when we caused the wound

by donny 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • donny
    donny

    1991 was the last full year I was an active JW. When I formally resigned in September 1992 my now ex-wife had already pretty much took all of the bound volumes and other Society literature.

    The only thing I was left with was a few copies of the NWT and the 1991 bound volumes the Watchtower and Awake! I had not really looked at them in all that time since then but when I was cleaning up some of my old pack-rat boxes the other day I found them and placed in the downstairs restroom for perusing while sitting on my anointed throne.

    With all of the publicity over child molesting in the JW ranks the past several years, the October 8, 1991 Awake caught my eye. The caption at the bottom of the page reads "Healing the Wounds of Child Abuse." Since the articles in this magazine was printed before all of the recent scandals, I thought it would be an interesting read.

    The articles go on to discuss how damaging this type of abuse can be. It says molestation is a "defilement of flesh and spirit." It states that most of the abusers are usually close family members and friends, often the father.

    Then the next article is titled "A Time to Heal." Surprisingly it often references secular books and experts on this sensitive subject. It emphatically states that IT IS NOT THE CHILDS FAULT and the abuser alone bears the full responsibility for what transpired.

    It says the victim may find some resolution by confronting the abuser by letter, phone or even in person. The letter may state what the abuse has done to you and you can even declare some expectations such as an apology, payment of doctor bills, or even a change of conduct of the molester.

    The last section deals with healing and recovery and states this can be done with help from Gods Word. By reading the scriptures and diligently applying its principals can ease the stress caused by these violations upon your person. One abuse victim stated "When I realized that Jehovah was aware of every feeling I had and that he cared - really cared - then I finally felt peace inside."

    The article ends with the scriptural assurance that our "loving God, Jehovah" will wipe out every memory of childhood pain and that this hope will sustain and strengthen you as you travel the road toward full recovery.

    After taking some Advil to alleviate the pain caused by the gut wrenching laugh I had after reading the article, what really stood out to me was that not once in the 9 pages of dealing with this hard-to-talk-about subject was the suggestion that law enforcement be contacted. You could tell your parents, friends and the elders but apparently the police was out of the question.

    While articles in other issues suggested that calling the police was appropriate when you, the adult, was robbed, threatened or physically attacked, this option was not on the table when it came to the young and innocent. Rather you were to put your trust in the environment that was most likely the source of the abuse to begin with.

    I formally declare that I have disfellowshipped the other 143,999 of the anointed body for conduct unbecoming even of an animal.

  • donny
    donny

    As an addendum to this post, I brought this Awake to a co-worker who is an active Witness and asked him to read it and to give his opinion. Two days later he said it was a well written article and it was still valid advice.

    I asked him if there was anything missing from it in regards to action to be taken in the event of a report of child abuse. He could not think of anything so I said "Not one time does it suggest calling the police."

    His reply?

    "Why call the police when it is a congregational issue and should be handled by the brothers."

    And some wonder why this problem continues to infest this organization.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Very interesting....

    If only the police would be called, and people KNEW the police would be called...

    Perhaps? fewer "publishers" would be willing to risk this venture..

    It IS a CRIME!!!

  • blondie
    blondie

    When my husband was an elder he asked a fellow elder who responded that way about child abuse, "Then if you knew brother so-and-so had committed a murder, admitted it, you wouldn't call the police?" That elder got very quiet.

  • Make Lemonade
    Make Lemonade

    I have heard rumors of disagreements between the service department and writting department regarding how child abuse matters should be handled. I believe I have experienced that disfunction. This very well could be a root cause of the failures of Jehovah's Witnesses regarding abuse victims. The article you quote is an example of "left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing". Or an egotistical competition to be the top dog between departments. Or both. The victims coming forward are enough evidance something is terribly wrong. It just screams: WAKE UP G.B. AND SOLVE THE INTERNAL PROBLEMS FOR THE VICTIMS AND FUTURE VICTIMS.

    If the G.B. followed the advice in this article, in principle, what might we expect from them. I personally would like them to view every you tube video about abuse victims who are or were witnesses. Read every blog by victims of abuse. Then be given the task to heal their pains personally. Why not? Those families and victims are or were under their care at the time of their abuse. Would that not be an example of taking the leed?

    I agree with your viewpoint about this article. The fact that this article was written in 1991 is very frustrating to me as well. Even the elders dissfellowshipping me agree that "horrible things have happened to you and your family". We are not victims of abuse, but victims of a dysfunctional organization covering up an image. What image? We are God's Channel of comunication. A test of loyalty to the followers, but a thought denied by leadership in court testimony.

    You don't believe me? I challenge you to read court documents. The Candice Conti Court documents. Read the Compos Court documents. What happened in Australia. Britain. It is all over the world. Anything you can find. You will see the pattern for yourself. Do not be comfortable if you are an elder, or father, or mother, or young person in the organization at this time. Do not feel you can remain in the shadows forever. This will have to be settled for all Jehovah's Witnesses to have true peace. It is good to let your conscience be disturbed. Follow your hearts and investigate. Could save you, or someone you love, much pain in the future.

    With concerned love

    Make Lemonade

  • galaxie
    galaxie

    The JWs would have no hesitation in involving the worldly authorities( police etc) if their right to religious freedom was aggressively challenged.

    Yet they hide in the murky shadows regarding child abuse, as pointed out alteady ;IT IS A CRIME!!!

    HYPOCRITS!! What about the fundemental rights and freedoms of justice for an innocent child.!!

  • donny
    donny

    Good points all. I just find it appaling that virtually no consideration is given to the child affected by these monsters. The image is everything and the individual sacrificed on the altar of "We are truth and we must look great."

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    I was handed a print out of that article right after my 10 year old was interrogated about her molestation!! Of course it gave me no peace, We wanted spiritual justice, We wanted support, we needed help...not another article to read!!

    Years later, I now know they could care less about the abused, if they had their way they would rather look at a child as a liar and temptress then to admit the fact they have a serious problem. The only thing that mattered to them was how bad it made the org look! Our mental health, our physical health and our spiritual health meant absolutely nothing to them. We were forever changed and our challenges are never ending, not that they would even notice.

  • Make Lemonade
  • cha ching
    cha ching

    ExACTly Truthseeker...

    So sorry this has happened to you, and what makes this abuse so bad, is that when you realize that the "mother' /Borg that taught us to "love our neighbor," has no love in themselves.

    THAT is the killer. When you look in their eyes, and you see ice. Cold, hard, uncaring ice. And the bad part is, they make you feel guilty for even THINKING about being mad at them... Ambient Abuse.

    Plus, you "will be a bad little boy/ girl/ witness" for talking to anyone, going to a counselor. The very thing someone abused needs... "You will "bring reproach on Jehovah."

    NO, the org hs brought reproach, the predator has brought reproach... on themselves... it has nothing to do with God.

    "God" is their "get out of jail free card."

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