by Kool Jo 6 Replies latest jw friends
Hey folks...was talking to an friend on skype who's a JW. She mentioned that she no longer has the zeal to do FS and meetings ect...if a JW confided in you, how would you handle it without rasing suspisions whilst at the same same trying to get them to think or even plant a few seeds?
She says once she leaves the KH, she doesn't feel the desire to do anything spiritual and that her FS time has reduced...she also told me that she feels "lazy" in her worship to Jehovah.
Thanks
Kool Jo
Hi Kool Jo,
I am not familiar with your status right now. Assuming this person believes you are an active JW, maybe you could reassure her that her feelings are natural. Tell her that you've felt that way before. Let her know it is safe to confide in you. Get the soil ready, before you try to plant any seeds. You don't want to risk setting off the apostate alarm.
Listen to what she is saying, be genuinely interested in her feelings and let her raise her doubts. If she is telling you this much, there is probably a lot more under the surface. She will reveal it, if you allow conversation to continue. Be a friend. It sounds like she needs one. (Don't we all?)
Whatever you do, recognize you face a potential bear trap, complete with honey-like inducements.
Yes, she disclosed a sense of backsliding but that is totally different from doubting the organization. I notice you say she referred to herself as "lazy" - which suggests she still views it as "the truth" but is more inclined to find fault with herself. Danger! Be careful!
Any comment on your part that tries to widen the discussion to a change of focus about the organization will snap your relationship in two.
Empathize. Say it's understandable. Ask her what she thinks the solution is. Listen. Reflect. Say you'll always be there to listen to her. Keep your own doubts to yourself.
Fact is, the organization is full of Witnesses who are slowing down but who are still hostage to its teachings, who are still paralyzed and fearful of life outside the organization.
Don't mistake slowing down for doubting. They are two entirely different "conditions" - although likely relatable over time.
Hi Kool Jo, Just tell her that you care about her and how she feels. Ask her simple questions about how she feels and what does she feel is the cause of her lack of zeal. Listen to her for awhile and then suggest that she talk with a psychologist to help her because you are concerned about her becoming more depressed.
It could help her more if you suggested several psychologists including a couple of cult-exit counselors.
The most you can do without setting off her apostate alarms is to let her talk, empathize with her about her feelings and saying that her feelings are valid without saying that she should doubt the WTBTS, and suggesting that she gets emotional help before she feels worse. Jehovah gave her a brain, so Jehovah may be waiting on her to use it.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
Thank you guys...so I spoke with her a little more and told her she can feel free to speak to me and I'll be there for her...she added she feels sluggish in her service to Jehovah because she's not getting the encouragement that she wants ect...
Kool Jo
It sounds like you did well. Anytime she discloses new details, don't be afraid to ask her questions. Let her do 90% of the talking.
Women (I am one) often need to repeat topics, so be patient and continue asking questions. We also benefit greatly, when allowed to get things "off our chest." Your patience and friendship are assets that are hard to find!!
