In Love with a JW but he dumped me (page 3)

jamiebowers

Sorry for your pain, but you dodged a bullet!

EntirelyPossible

It seems being raised a JW breeds such deceptiveness.

Bingo, JWFacts. It took a lot of effort to get over the instictive, even natural deception I almost defaulted from spending years hiding and not telling the truth about what I really thought, felt and wanted as a JW. I think I am over it, now, though, but it wasn't easy.

Or course, I am also no longer a JW. And never happier.

blond-moment

I know you feel like "he picked his religion over me" but it isn't that simple. If this were a religion, he wouldn't have been forced to make that choice.

This is a cult, mind control, and the hooks run very deep. I left the JWs bodily 20 years ago (twenty years!), I just woke up to it all being mind control a year ago! The hooks....run...deep.

Please, try not to be hard on yourself, this is so not your fault and nothing to do with you really.

Try to forgive him and move on, it isn't his fault either, but if he isn't ready to wake up, it really isn't worth it in my opinion. Even if he were to come back, you might have to face this again in another 3 years...then another...etc. The Watchtower, and Jehovah's Witnesses would ALWAYS be in between the two of you. If you are not willing to be under mind control and part of this cult, it would just always be disaterous.

Yes it's hard, yes it sucks, but as others have said, he really did you a favor. You hear the words JW, you run! I do feel for you.

Low-Key Lysmith

I insisted that I needed to be treated nicely for my B-Day which he did either the day before or after.

I was always puzzled by this. That somehow not doing it on the actual day made it ok. My mom used to make a huge turkey dinner with all the trimmings the day after Thanksgiving, and invite the entire congregation over. The majority of them showed up.

Another thing to consider: JWs are taught and firmly believe that women are inferior to men, that they must be subservient to the men, and if they complain about being mistreated, that they are misbehaving and not acting in a Christian manner. You don't want that for yourself, do you?

You dodged a bullet. Be happy.

NewChapter

Welcome Rana,

I know it hurts. I know that the real issues get muddied in emotion. You feel for him, so you were willing to sacrifice. But nothing, NOTHING, can change the fact that he hid you like you were some dirty little secret. You don't need or deserve that. How dare he? He wanted it all. Well---now he has to make a choice.

I want to give you one GREAT BIG caution. This cult mentality is insidious. He could walk away today, show up at your door, and swear he was never returning. But if he holds even a seed of doubt in his brain somewhere, many events could send him running back to the cult. He could even marry you---but if there is sickness, death, financial trouble, crime, birth of a child, war----whatever, and he still believes on any level, these events may confirm for him what the JW's say and then he will run back. And then what? Children in this situation will be a disaster. You will always be second, third, whatever position he puts you in. He will always answer to the org first, and he will always secretly hope you join the cult. Your children will be taught that you are evil and will be destroyed in armegeddon, along with everyone else they may love.

Deal with the pain--work through it---stay strong. When it gets behind you, move on. You just don't want a cult member as your number one.

NC

Wizard of Oz

Or put in a list to run out and buy on boxing day sales...... but it isn't for xmas

Hypocrites, sinners & stingy to boot

DilemmaGF

Heck as a wordly Baptist I encouraged him to go to the meetings I would even read the publications with him (i stopped my study a while back). I never even told him all the juicy apostate stuff I researched just out of respect for him, but I guess he didn't respect me.

I don't see why we should encourage them going back to the KH knowing that it is a cult. And yes, they can be real jackasses when it comes to judging other churches - even the grammatical errors in sermon can be a big issue. Always can find faults with us the mainstream church - I take it as arrogance but that's the trait that had been imparted by the WTS into the mind of these people.

I told my bf the truth about why he keeps on criticizing the mainstream churches instead of wasting my time debating with him. I told him his mind was controlled and was told that any church other than JW are wrong and satanic, so the problem is not in the sermon, grammar, approaches of the church, but the problem is their mind has been pre-set to look at it negatively.

Gayle

It takes longer for the heart to catch up with the rational brain.

Seems like we are reading this kind of double-life syndrome that 'raised-in JWs' more and more are living. It has always been but maybe more now. Then, they become the revolving door kind of JWs and become comfortable with this life style. The dishonesty is the worst thing. They go with a non-JW, break her heart, go back to the organization, thinking they are all righteous again. A sickness of his that you are blessed to be rid of.

garyneal

Once again, my advice, count your blessings as this really is a blessing in disguise, leave this board (if you have not already done so), and live your life. The Jehovah's Witnesses and the Watchtower are the cross that we have to bear and the Hell we have to endure. You've been set free of this, so be free and find yourself and find someone who will appreciate you.

In Love with a JW but he dumped me

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