So I just broke up with my JW boyfriend of over two years, nearly three. When I met him he was disfellowshipped and I didn't find out he was a Jehovah's Witness unitl 4 months into the relationship. Six month into he was reinstated with the caution of getting rid of me, but he didnt. We didn't do holidays except I insisted that I needed to be treated nicely for my B-Day which he did either the day before or after. I even studied-with his mother. I would go to meetings and assemblies. I told him I would not convert but I wanted to understand his background so that I can keep our relationship harmonious. But the issue was he never told his parents outright that we were dating. This was an issue we argued about constantly. Just this January I ot angry with him again and broke up with him.
We had done the "this isn't going to work out" dance before but we always got back together within a weeks time. Oh yes we were sexually active. This time I told him I was tired of hiding and lying and why couldnt he just tell his parents the truth. I told him that he was getting to old to be lying to his family and to himself. Mostly he was lying to himself. I expected that he would man up and tell his parents and we would get back together. But we didn't. He said he wanted me to be his friend still and we were with the sex still and hanging out, like we were a couple still. When I called him out on this and asked whether we were dating or not he said no we are still just friends and he needs to get his life back on track and do right in his religion, so in short he picked the religion over me. It hurts because it seems like he is vilifying me, like me being who I am has fucked up his life when I didn't even know he was a JW at first.
I felt like he was my soulmate. I really wanted to marry him and I was working out all the details in my head. Heck as a wordly Baptist I encouraged him to go to the meetings I would even read the publications with him (i stopped my study a while back). I never even told him all the juicy apostate stuff I researched just out of respect for him, but I guess he didn't respect me. I know I should not feel bad and its probably a good thing it didn't work out but I guess my question is was it ever going to work out and if it does one day will he have to completely abandon the organizaiton. I saw the pain on his face when he talked about being disfellowshipped (3 years for premarital sex-really). I just don't understand them. Can somethign that seemed so right really be over because of religion? I guess this is really just a vent. I have read this website the entire time I have dated him so I guess I have my answers, it still sucks. sorry for the long post. Im a first timer. All comments and advice are welcomed.