Attended a JW funeral the other day

uk_ex_jw

Hi all,

I had an account on here sometime ago but forgot the login, but I often read the site.

A long-term friend of mine, a JW, asked me to go to his Grandmothers JW funeral a few weeks ago.

I was hesitant obviously. I haven't been to a KH in over 5 years.

I am not DF/DA. I decided to quit in 2007 following my failed marriage to a JW.

The person who died was a very well-respected JW Pioneer. She had been doing it for over 30+ years, all she spoke about was the 'truth' and what was in the latest magazines. She had no other conversation.

Obviously, I didn't want to let my friend down. He had kept in touch with me since I left, never judged, and I was the first person he came to when he learned of his Grandmothers passing.

He said that it would mean a lot to him if I came along, so I decided to make the effort.

Imagine the scene.

I haven't been in this KH for over 5 years. The 'attendant' didn't even recognised me when I entered the foyer with my current partner. He asked whether I was a friend of the family. Once I told him who I was, he looked shocked. He ushered me into the main hall and because there wasn't any seats, he gave his one up so I could sit down.

The service was tedious at best. I would say 40% was spent talking about the deceased, 60% about the 'truth' and how we could take this opportunity to learn more about the 'truth' and that it was the only way to see our dead loved ones again. He babbled on about storing up treasures in heaven instead of on earth and the usual rhetoric about how the world is passing away, paradise earth, blah, blah, blah.

The Elder doing the service - someone who took me under his own wing when I was young. On a personal level, he is a nice enough guy, but totally blinded by the cult and its teachings to the point where he would get aggressive with you if you ever dared to question anything.

I remember talking to him once about his son and what he would do if there came a time where he didn't want to come to the meetings.

His response: "He wouldn't have a choice - he'll be going whatever".

I left it at that.

I took the time to watch the congregation whilst the service was going on and there was no emotion whatsoever - instead lots of nodding heads and rustling through the Bible whilst I sat staring at the speaker. I think he noticed me and at one point was talking directly at me for a spell. I sat stern faced looking back.

Why am I writing this?

In a lot of ways, it gave me closure. I felt almost cleansed

I saw my friend at the end of the service and shook his hand. A couple of other JW's spoke to me, asked how I was, I answered politely that I was fine, and walked away from them. Most of the rest saw me, but didn't come and speak which was good.

TOTH

I think I can understand that CLEANSED feeling. Open eyes make all the difference I think.

I have to wonder how long it will be before the visits take to start. Have you considered what to say if they start coming around?

outsmartthesystem

There isn't a whole lot of emotion at JW funerals....especially if everyone knew that person was going to die. (it is a little different when someone dies suddenly......there is still the shock factor there) They all truly believe that this person is in now in a sleep like state and will be awakened in paradise very shortly. It makes perfect sense why so little emotion is shown.

biometrics

I went to a funeral two days ago. Some things I didn't like, were the speaker said "Nowhere does the bible talk about soul surviving death" I thought of the Rich man and Lazarus "It happened that the beggar died, and that he was carried away by the angels to Abraham's bosom".

They then went on to use the funeral speech as a tool to convert all her non-Witness relatives. And said her dying wish was that her family put "The Truth" first in their lives.

Morbidzbaby

Wow, bio, talk about a guilt trip! Sheesh!

I've been to quite a few JW funerals... Some were held in the KH, others were held in a funeral home because of the sheer number of worldly family that basically protested having it in the KH. Either way, an elder always got up and did his schpiel. I think what makes me the most angry about the whole thing is how it's nothing but a sales pitch...family usually aren't allowed to get up and say a few words about the deceased, and the elder giving the "eulogy" barely says a thing about them either. It's more like "Hey, this person croaked, BUT if you act now....!" Makes me ill.

uk, it was kind of you to be there for your friend. You're a better person than I...I don't think I'd set foot in a KH ever again, even for my own parents' funerals.

biometrics

Yes, the speaker was less concerned with the person who died, and more concerned with preaching the Watchtower's message. But, I'm sure every devoted Watchtowerite wouldn't have it any other way.

blindcat

When my grandmother died, she was quite elderly, I went to the funeral. While I was still associated with a hall in another state, I did not agree with the way the funeral was handled. It was the typical canned speaches. On top of the discourse from a can, the elders (2-3) talked about the warm, kind, loving, selfless, woman. She was just exactly the opposite. All of the non JW family in the front row, was asking if we were at the right funeral. They couldn't be talking about the woman we all knew. My aunt tapped me on the shoulder, and asked, "did they even know her?" The whole family was laughing by the end of the canned part of the discourse. When the funeral was over, and as I was leaving, a woman who used to be our neighbor come up and said, "I know you are going to miss her." At that point, I had enough, and told her straight up. "No, I'm not!" and went out with everyone for a beer. The funeral was total fiasco. Between the sales pitch, and inaccuracies I couldn't get out fast enough.

biometrics

My grandmother (never a JW, or even interested), died a few months ago. Mum took her turn at the funeral to speak, she used that time to tell the audience what happens after death (according to Jehovah's Witness doctrine), rather than reflect on her mum's life. I don't blame my mum for that, rather it's a sad reflection on being a devout JW.

It's kind of like using a recent natural disaster to open a "Witnessing" speech. For most people it doesn't go down very well, especially when the person may have lost loved ones.

Poztate

I always like to post the funeral talk outline when I see threads like this

As you can see it is all about THEM

An Elder handles it.. No one else is allowed to speak from the platform (at KH)

REMARKS REGARDING THE DECEASED (Use any that apply and are appropriate.)
Details regarding age, birth, when married, and so forth
By whom the deceased is survived
Dedication record, including privileges of service
Exemplary qualities displayed by the deceased (Eccl. 7:1)
THE HOPE THE DECEASED ENTERTAINED
Worshiped Jehovah, the God of wisdom, justice, love, power
Had faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12)
Appreciated God’s purpose regarding earth (Gen. 1:28)
Sure to be realized (Isa. 11:9; 55:10, 11; Rev. 21:4)
Why good people die
Disobedience of Adam (Gen. 3:19; contrast with Genesis 2:7.)
Offspring inherited death (Rom. 5:12)
Condition of the dead
Soul is mortal (Ezek. 18:4, 20)
Dead are unconscious (Ps. 146:4; Eccl. 3:19; 9:5, 10)
The resurrection hope
Made possible by sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Matt. 20:28)
Christ’s resurrection a guarantee (1 Cor. 15:22, 23)
God uses Jesus to raise the dead (John 5:28, 29)
For the anointed, resurrection is to heavenly life (1 Cor. 15:51-54; Rev. 20:4, 6)
“Other sheep” resurrected to life in earthly Paradise (Luke 23:43; John 10:16)
Armageddon survivors can hope to see the deceased one again soon
Others too are in line for resurrection (Acts 24:15)
WHY IT IS GOOD TO GO TO HOUSE OF MOURNING
Can comfort the bereaved; loss is mutual
Take to heart uncertainty of life (Ps. 90:12; Eccl. 7:2)
Makes us think about how we are using our life
HOW WE CAN BENEFIT FROM BEING HERE
While living, make good name with Jehovah God (Eccl. 7:1)
Lay up treasures in heaven (Matt. 6:19-21)
One way is to take zealous part in witness work, if qualified (Matt. 24:14; 28:19, 20)
In this way and by godly conduct, we contribute to sanctification of Jehovah’s name (Prov. 27:11)
Resurrection hope an incentive to learn and do divine will (1 Cor. 15:58)
(Note: Opening with prayer is optional. Instead of eulogizing the deceased, use the material in this
outline to give a fine witness concerning the truth. Good balance should be observed in this respect.
Doctrinal points can be presented as beliefs of the deceased, which served as motivation for him. Purpose
of talk is to uphold Jehovah God as a God of love and mercy and at the same time bring comfort to the
bereaved. Use of a song such as No. 111 is optional. A brief prayer at the close is fitting. When
arrangement is made to go to the grave, it is well to consider quite briefly the hope through the Kingdom,
reading one or two scriptures, such as Job 14:14, 15 and 1 Corinthians 15:54b-57. This service may also
be closed with prayer, thanking Jehovah for the resurrection hope, which is of great comfort. The talk
need not exceed 30 minutes.)
Funeral Discourse
S-32-E 2/11
? 2008Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania All Rights Reserved

simon17

Yeah Poztate, its pretty incredible. No need to eulogize the individual at all. The original poster's estimation that it was 60% doctrinal, 40% about the individual would actually be quite a personalized talk for the witnesses.

I went to a funeral a few months ago and it was probably 95% doctrinal. Besides "xxxxx believed..." the person was scarcely mentioned at all outside the first 5 minutes. Very sad.

Attended a JW funeral the other day

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