I guess that depends on where you live. In most of the US those people are sh!t outta luck for any happiness in life. Most have the choice of being institutionalized and giving up what little freedom they have or living on the street begging for money from their wheelchair. Then they're doomed to have their life unhappily extended by feeding tube and ventilator once the rest of their body gives up. We don't seem too concerned with quality of life, we just eek out every second possible, even if it's miserable.
Sex, the Disabled and the Terminally Single
by bigmouth 52 Replies latest jw friends
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tec
Just for the record, Tec is clearly 100% right
P.S. How you been lately, kiddo?
I haven't been too bad. Working a little more to save up for Cali this summer, and also to pay for Comic-con in Calgary at the end of April. Looking forward to that one!! You?
Peace,
tammy
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Blind_Of_Lies
I think it was on that Nat. Geo. show Taboo... either that or Weird Sex or something along those lines.
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EntirelyPossible
I can sum it up in two words. Kids. Working. Not much else.
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tec
I know. Sometimes its like that.
I have to work in 8 hours, so I'm off to bed. Good night all.
*goes to bed grumbling that he either didn't notice or just didn't give me the satisfaction :P*
Peace,
tammy
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bigmouth
BoL, maybe something Louis Theroux might do ?
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Band on the Run
There is a flourishing disability community with web sites dedicating to dating. There is no reason for a disabled person to turn to the sex trade b/c they are disabled. Society has an interest in genetic disabilities not going down generations. Governments used to sterilize such people. We now believe that was very wrong. I do get upset with someone seriously ill with genetic illnesses rashly have babies. Babies that must be raised by the govt or relatives. Yet my view on this has changed since I've been exposed to a disability community.
My legal supervisor had cerebral palsy. It was very visible. Despite a great personality, no one asked her out -- not even for coffee. I don't understand why most men think a single date is a marriage proposal. Manners should exist. When she reached 30, she had enough. She applied on a disability dating site. Her first date was a man with multiple sclerosis. They married. Their love and adventure is very apparent.
Every human is only temporarily able bodied. All of us will be disabled at some point. What you wrote may have been true in 1900s but a disabled civl rights community is active. They tend to be more deferential than other groups which annoys me. We need more wheel chair demos and arrests. A striking visual goes a lot further than content on website. Society is slowly changing.
How would you feel if you were one of the groups you mentioned? It could strike you as you read this.
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Band on the Run
People seem overly obsessed with sex on this forum! There is a juvenile tone, IMO>
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Lady Lee
There is, to me, a mind boggling belief that people with disabilities don't have relationships and therefore cannot have sex with a loving partner. I feel like my head is going to explode with this nonsense.
I know of three couples where both people have disabilities and they have no problems being sexual. They might have to learn to adapt what they do according to their disabilities but they are sexual with each other.
There are groups for people with disabilities and they do hook up with each other.
I also know many couples where only one person has a disibility and they seem to be quite happy in theri relationships.
Around the time that I was leaving the JWs and my husband he told me one day that he knew I wasn't having sex with a person I had met because he was blind. Huh? Really? Being blind does not stop a person from being sexual. I wasn't having sex with him. Didn't until after my divorce was final. And I had dated other people and was even engaged to a deaf person for a while. He had no problems with sex either.
And you know what. Sex with a person who was disabled for me was always better because they were far moere aware of what was happening. The best sex I ever had was always with people who had a disability. Why I went off and married a man without a disability ifs beyond me. It sure wasn't the sex. That isn't to say that all disabled people are great when it comes to sex. I did know 2 guys with disabilities who were rather boring in bed.
So if you are wondering I have been in relationships of various durations with 2 blind, 1 deaf, 1 with MS and one with MD. And some without disabilities. I met a few of them through work or introductions or just met them by chance. Maybe I met them because I was more open to see them as a person first rather than a disabiled person where the disability is seen first. At the time I was not disabled.
Now that I am disabled myself I would not ignore opportunitues to meet people who happened to have a disability. If they were nice people i might choose to get involved or not. I have had opportunities and just wasn't interested in that person.
In the second book of The Joy of Sex book series called More Joy of Sex there is a chapter that specifically deals with sexuality and people with disabilities. The book refers to "fascilitators" that will come in and fascilitate positioning of the bodies so sexual intimacy can be achieved. Fascilitators are not involved in the sexual activity as participants. They simply are assistants. They are hired just like any personal care worker would be hired to assist a couple where both parties might have a disability.
Thinking of all the people I know who have disabilities most would find the thought of paying for sex distasteful. People with disabilities want relationships just like everyone else and that includes the intimacy along with the sex.