The family story I've never told

Celestial

This took place in the 1970s (I'm 38).

All members of the story are or were Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I've known this all my life but I've never told anyone. I never knew my grandfather (on my father's side) except that he became wealthy because he owned a construction company that made it big during a population boom in a metropolitan area. I'm not sure what went wrong with the man, but he ended up physically abusing his wife and sons.

According to my mother, my father started physically abusing her shortly after their marriage. My father was an elder throughout the duration of their marriage. The overall family and in-laws always associated together. For whatever reason, my mother and my aunt's (on my father's side) husband (uncle in-law) started committing adultery.

I don't know how the congregation elders became suspicious of this, but I was told they followed and spied on them and confronted my father with what they observed.

My parents got divorced and my mother ended up getting disfellowshipped. I've never talked to anyone who knew about the physical abuse of my mother except for her immediate family. My mother's sister and her husband (an elder) had extensive knowledge of situation. They were so disillusioned by the fact that no congregation action was taken against my father for the physical abuse that they told my grandmother they will never be one of Jehovah's Witnesses again. My (uncle in-law on my mother's side) ended up becoming an apostate, a Baptist preacher that delivered public protests against Jehovah's Witnesses during his sermons. He also made audio recordings against Jehovah's Witnesses.

I have no memories of any of this (I was under five) except for a couple of fights my parents were in and candles lighting up a dark house because the electricity had been cut off. I was told my mother and (uncle in-law) ran up a bunch of expenses that couldn't be paid.

There's many good sides to my family. This is just one of the bad sides that's ancient history.

00DAD

What wretched creatures we humans are ...

peridotgreen

It took a great deal of courage to tell that story.

I wish you and your mother all the best.

jamiebowers

If your jw mom was being physically abused by her jw husband, adultery may have been the only way she could see to escape it, possibly even saving her life. As for your uncle in law, maybe he was driven from his marriage with your paternal aunt, because she was dysfunctional like her brother. There's no way to tell for certain, but one thing is definite; the stifling marital rules of the Watchtower cause people to do strange things.

truth_b_known

"I don't know how the congregation elders became suspicious of this, but I was told they followed and spied on them and confronted my father with what they observed."

Isn't great how elders are willing to play private investigator when it comes to adultry, but won't bother to call the police when it comes to domestic violence or child abuse?