Does your heart still race when suddenly coming accross a JW?

by Fernando 32 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • Fernando

    It did for me even though I eventually walked out on my terms and fully convinced of the apostasy of the Watchtower Pharisees and Sanhedrin (Governing Body).

    Initially it was very confusing and bewildering since I was a 3rd generation born-in and the Watchtower was the only "reality" I'd known for more than 40 years.

    A Psychologist diagnosed PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and recommended attending a cult conference and workshop for victims of Psychological manipulation. I learnt about "triggers" that cause turmoil and upset whilst one is suffering from PTSD.

    For nearly 2 years I could not answer a phone without a minor panic attack. I could only respond to voicemails. I wanted no communication from Watchtower Pharisees. Emails were much easier since I enjoy writing and felt in control of the situation. It was very liberating to respond to initial elder emails with faith and spirituality 101 questions that not a single elder on the whole body could or dared to answer.

    Well the Seminar, Workshop, Psychotherapy, CBT, EMDRAA and an intense spiritual journey outside of religion have all helped me to a much more peaceful, stable and secure place. No more heart racing no matter who I bump into or who phones. It's a good place to be in, however rebuilding ones life from scratch takes loads of time, energy and resources...

    I have met a number of exJWs also on a faith journey outside of religion and noted how we are all learning similar things apart from any organisation or group.

    Oddly enough we have made friends with a lovely spiritually minded JW family who we imagine could respond favourably to the gospel in time. Others of course choose to avoid us like the plague whilst the Pharisees and Sanhedrin have kept them ignorant of the real reasons for our departure, namely the Watchtower's patently false gospel which excises the "good news" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah, the Psalms and more.

    Is it getting better for you when coming across JWs?

  • FlyingHighNow

    I cringe and feel queasy.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I look at them with a mix of pitty and disdain. As much as I feel sorry for their lot in life. Uneducated and living in a lower standard of living for their religion, but at the same time, their smug attitude and the fact that anyone of of them would gladly see apostates destroyed forces me towards disdain

  • ziddina

    Yeah, my heart still races...

    And I've been out for 25 years... [or so... ]

    But mostly that's due to excitement over the opportunity to do some "anti-witnessing"!!!

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I don't even like engaging them. It's pathetic. Anything past their mag offer is just fluff. A minute into a conversation and most just wish me a nice day and turn. But you know what. I got like that as well and I didn't care to defend anything.

  • ziddina

    I still have this experience in mind...

    I still think about that teen-aged girl, who stood there and listened with such rapt attention, to what I had to say about the recent origins of the bible and the vastly older belief systems...

    It was because of people LIKE MYSELF, speaking out at the doors when I came to call as a "good little girl, good little Jehovah's Witness", that helped rattle my brain loose from the mind control that the Jehovah's Witnesses were trying to subject me to...

    I still mentally thank the man who said, "Those people are using you..."

    I still mentally thank the woman I worked with, who told me about how her parents had debated whether to send her to school or not, when she was 5 years old, because of Rutherford's false prophecies... And she was in her forties when she told me that story!!

    You never know....

    Sometimes you get through - or at least add another doubt onto the growing mountain of doubts and questions that eventually get someone out...

  • out4good3

    Indeed Ziddina

    There are several people I met at the door whilst I was a JW that I wish I could find, go back, and thank as well. Specifically, one man who asked us in, sat us down, and proceeded to calmly and patiently ask us questions about the origins of our faith. Those barely perceptical then nuggets of information remained with me for a long time. They sat on rocks on my mind.

    After we left his house, determined to get out overseer to come over and talk to this man, an overseer who refused after we told him of the type of questions the man was asking, those nugget seedlings were washed on the fertile ground and carefully watered by compounded WT gaffs.

    This elders refusal to even talk to this man, coupled with his disapproving look when me and my wife drove off in our two door sports car, set the wheels in motion for me to eventually see my way out of there.

  • designs

    'When are you returning to Jehovah' or 'when are you coming back to the meetings we miss you' those usually get the heart rate up. I counter with 'when are you going to invite me over to your house for dinner'

  • blondie

    Weirdly enough, I live in a fairly large city and work around several jws but don't see them. Maybe they are avoiding me, but I don't think so....they know we are df'd and we don't discuss anything negative with jws. designs, good response about inviting you over for dinner....when I was active we invited several over for dinner frequently; in ten years time, never saw the inside of their house and never dinner. Of course they would say, "we have to have you over some time."

  • undercover

    No. Not anymore. When I was first taking my leave of them, if I saw one or had elders call, it caused some anxiety. Now I don't feel anything.

    I've gotten to the point where they are, for the most part, insignificant in my life. Aside from my JW family, I rarely see them and don't care to anymore. When I do see them, it's sort of like running into an old workmate who moved on or a neighbor who moved. There's nothing that connects us anymore. Just old acquaintances that might chit chat and then move on with life.

  • Bella15

    Not anymore ... I feel sad for them though ...

    At the beginning when I became enraged and agitated at sight of them, like wanting to tear the magazines in their faces, I thought it was a "demon" inside of me LOL ... once I found out about PTSD and cults everything changed ... now I pray for them ...

  • Glander

    the Body Snatchers (1978)

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Wow.....I know that Donald Sutherland look. That's the look of a JW out in FS spotting an apostate.

    Think About It

  • jam

    Fernando; Ptsd, Panic attacks, sever anxiety disorder,

    you name it I had it.

    My problem, unaware at the time, Ptsd from Vietnam.

    So when I left the JW,s it all came down with A vengeance.

    After I begain my treatment with the Veteran Administration

    Psychoanalysis things begain to improve. He told me I need

    to face my fears, my time in Nam and my life as A JW.

    For years when I saw my JW family members I would

    have A panic attack, sometimes it would literally cause me to

    pass out (unconscious). I thought Nam was bad but these

    people had more of A devastateing effect then Vietnam.

    Today I still some anxiety when they come to my door, but

    nothing like years ago.

  • snakeface

    I have been out of the organization - oops I meant cult - for at least 3 years now. No one comes to my door when they're working my street. They know I have a goatee and that I have joined another church. But a couple of weeks ago I was about a block away from my house, walking home, when an elder and his wife were driving by. They slowed down, honked the horn, waved and smiled. (Maybe they never got the memo.) They seemed to be very happy to see me. I smiled and waved back. (Maybe they count that as a shepherding call now?)

    Maybe it can help if you think of the witnesses and elders as coworkers and bosses from a job you quit long ago. Back when you worked for that company you obeyed that boss, and you supported the philosophies/goals of that company. You took pride in your job and recommended that company to other people. But then you quit that job and have been working in an entirely different career for many years. If you now see the old boss walking down the street, you know you have no connection to him or to that company; you don't care if that company is doing well or not because it has no effect on your life now.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    ^^ I like the former job anology.

    Although for us with family still in, it's not as easy to walk away when our familes are still working for that company. And the company is spreading lies about the conduct of ex-employees and telling family members not to talk to the ex-employees.

  • Bubblegum Apotheosis
    Bubblegum Apotheosis

    No, absolutely not, this site has changed my mind forever, calmness has been replaced by fear. Thank you brother Waldo and JWN, you work

    wonders for the average JW (probably going to be a JW dropout but I still love Jehovah and Jesus and teach the Bible. Just don't like men and women

    who think they are better than us, or judge us as wicked for not obeying men.)

    BTW, I ran into two regular pioneers who were staring at my goatee, it was ackward for them, not for me.

  • LongHairGal

    FERNANDO: No, it does not. Especially after eleven years of being a "fader". They are strangers from the past and have no relevance in my life. The best feeling anybody can have is "neutral". I don't feel hatred and I don't feel pity either. If they ever came to my door they would be dismissed like any other salesperson or nuisance. If they tried to get on their "high horse" I would laugh and tell them to Begone.

  • Tater-T

    I would turn into a zombie.. They magnets they put into my head would activate .. and I could think straight for hours.. days..

  • Finally-Free

    I'm indifferent because I haven't seen one that I knew for about 8 years. If I saw one that I knew I might feel something.


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