What was life like for you as a JW teenager?

by highdose 43 Replies latest jw experiences

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  PaintedToeNail

  It was depressing being a JW as a teen. I was actually extremely pretty and had an amazing looking boyfriend (at least I thought he was amazing looking). The other girls in the circuit, which was huge in area, said horrid things about me. I had never even met these girls or knew they existed. My best friend was invited to a party and these girls started in about me being a bitch and stuck up and so forth. She was stunned, thankfully she told them that I was her best friend and a really nice sweet person. All of this came about because of my handsome boyfriend.

  High school was difficult because of being asked to do things that you knew your parents would never let you do, like go to a school dance. Getting asked out by different guys was embarassing because of course you had to say "no" repeated and seem like you thought you were too good for them.

  We did manage to get groups to go skiing at night a few times, it was cheaper at night, and it was super fun. We had teens coming from 75 miles to go skiing. Needless to say, the kabosh was put on that, we were having too much fun and the adults in the various congs felt we weren't properly chaperoned.

  We had a rip roaring masquerade roller skating party, there were probably 350 people there, it was really fun. Then maybe 6 months later, there was a Watchtower about large parties and masquerade parties where men actually put on womens clothes as costumes. There had been one young brother at our party who wore his obese mother's polyester dress, stuffed to fit him, along with his athletic socks, a crazy wig and he kept his moustache. He looked really funny, no one thought he was a homosexual like the Watchtower infered. He commented to me that he felt that article was directed at him.
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  TheWanderer

  I had an experience like the one mentioned, where I was more of the 'nerd' type and the 1-2 teens in my congregation were more hip than I was. They were nice enough to let me tag along, though, but I always felt like a 'fifth wheel' kind of thing. (Note: this was the mid to late 80s)

  My mother was actually helpful with this, to a point... since my family went back a couple generations in JWs, we were kind of looked up to by the more spiritually-minded people. So mom would try to hold little get-togethers at our house, to try and help me and some of the other socially-challenged teens (and keep them from worldly alternatives, etc). Once we had a lip-synching 'party' with about a dozen or two kids (and the parents who wanted to attend), good times.

  I do remember getting my hopes up once... senior prom was NEVER an option, of course. But that year a bunch of parents wanted to try and have an alternative within the organization so the kids wouldn't be quite as left out by not going. The word spread through several congregations in neighboring cities that a school auditorium was available, and there was going to be a prom-like gathering for the teens.. dress up formally as possible, a musically-inclined friend was going to play some tunes and had 'acceptable' music to be played as well... even as incredibly shy as I was, this was defintely something I was looking forward to this for WEEKS (especially since there was a super-cutie young sister I had met, and had hoped to talk to some more, heh).

  ....but the weekend before it was going to happen, there was some talks about avoiding 'large gatherings', a few people had crisis of conscience issues, and it was cancelled. sigh

  It was a little difficult for me because there were higher expectations. Everyone seemed to think I'd be a regular pioneer and probably Bethel bound when I got out of school. It was kind of fun getting privleges within the congregation... carrying the microphones, giving talks, reading the Watchtower aloud on Sunday... but deep down it always felt like having to settle for what I could get, since I couldn't have what I really wanted, lol

  Personally, I was already tempted by worldly influences, a bit of a rebel despite being from a 'good family'... I'd listen to worldy pop music, try to catch TV shows when mom wasn't around, etc. I liked a couple of friends I made who were more open-minded, being able to escape and play video games, listen to whatever was on the radio without changing the station because a 'bad song' came on, lol Always had crushes on girls but was too shy to talk to them, and you weren't supposed to be all that friendly anyway (since it was WAY too young to be thinking about marriage, so any considerations of dating were not acceptable). At best, I could hope for a group outing that included the pretty young lady I was pining for, and maybe getting the courage to talk to her, lol

  Funny, I could talk to complete strangers in service, deal with 'conversation stoppers', do informal street work... but talk to the happy brunette who was my age? Yikes! haha

  Ah well. In the end, like any other teenager.. I guess I just tried to make the best of it, do what I could, and find the enjoyment that was there... and along the way, had a lot of unusual experiences! :)

  (hmm, that was a lot more than I thought I had to say,haha)
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  Morbidzbaby

  I grew up in a "divided household", so being a JW was hell all around. The fun parties were reserved for the kids who had BOTH parents in "da Troof". Once in awhile there would be a gathering and we'd be invited because it was a "congregation" gathering (a square dance, a picnic, etc). Most of the time, there were tons of parties that went on without my knowledge...I just got to hear about them the following Sunday. The kids did sleepovers, movie parties (where they'd pick a theme or an actor and watch those movies), decade parties (50's, 60's, 70's), picnics, tea parties for the girls. I was hardly ever invited...or if I was, I had a rotten time because I knew everyone looked down on me because my dad was worldly and we were poor. This made me terribly shy and made interacting with people very difficult. I never felt good enough.

  I remember one family in particular. The mother was a snotty meddling bitch, the father was an asshole who was trying his damnedest to become an elder. What a couple of tight-asses. They were upper middle class, had a house, cars, etc. We, however, were poor and although we had a house, it wasn't the greatest...and mom always had to drive clunkers. The mother went to school with my dad and knew how poor he was when he was a kid. She was actually a total C U Next Tuesday to him in school because of it. When she found out he was my father, she was gunning for me from the very beginning! I wasn't good enough for her daughter. However, her daughter really did like me! She was (and still is) a total sweetheart (along with her brothers) and I can't for the life of me understand how she issued forth from the loins of these two uppity pricks. Her mom tried to make every excuse NOT to let her daughter be my friend, but finally she realized she had no good reason...the only way to have a reason would be to lie. So every once in awhile, I would be invited to a party or to sleep over. But I was always made a spectacle of. At parties, I was always enlisted to either help in the kitchen or clean up...like a fucking slave. Or the mother would counsel me in front of everyone about being jealous of what my friends had! She read me a scripture about it...out of nowhere! And then she said "Now, if Jennifer had a CD player and you didn't, would you throw her CD player into the ocean?". I was standing there looking like "WTF??". I have NO IDEA where that came from! Because I was poor, I was automatically a jealous person?? Also, every chance this woman got, she would try to pump me for information on my dad, his job, how much money he made, how much our bills cost... Anything that wasn't her business, she wanted to know! She was (and is still) a notorious gossip. I always said there were 3 ways to get a message around...Telephone, Telegraph, or Tell HER!! I remember we had a congregation gathering where we did skits from the Bible Story book. Well, this woman took the one about Pharaoh's daughter pulling Moses from the Nile. OF COURSE her daughter was the Princess! And who do you think got to be the slave who brought the baby from the water?? ME! She didn't even make me an "attendant" to the princess...they got to wear nice Egyptian costumes. I got to wear a bed sheet and my dad's old moccasins. And I didn't even have any damn lines! When I was going through my divorce, she tried getting information out of me as to what was going on. I didn't tell her a damn thing. Knowing her, what I told her would have been completely different coming out of her mouth and would have spread like a communicable disease throughout the local congregations.

  That was just one family, though. My brother and I were never good enough...with the exception of one elder and his family that were good to my brother. They had 2 boys his age and he got on well with them. They had a lot in common. But they didn't have any girls my age. All the other girls in my congregations who were in "spiritually united" households were fucking snobs. They treated me like a leper, making fun of me after the meetings, making snide comments about my clothes. I had friends who were in "divided" households like me...one being from a "divorced and remarried" household...so her step-dad was a JW, but her biological dad wasn't. She had an entire side of the family that she went to see every other weekend who were not JW's. So she was no good, either. She and another girl whose parents did end up divorcing (he was worldly and cheated) were my best friends. We slept over each others' houses regularly. They were like sisters to me. Both of them were more accepted by the others because their families had money...drove new cars, lived in really nice homes. Sadly, I ended up losing touch with one (she left the JW's as a teen) until recently. We chat very little over Facebook. The other is still a JW with her Ministerial Servant husband who was beating her last I knew...and their children. I stopped talking to her when I found out she was a tattler... I couldn't risk being "exposed" at that time.

  I had a few JW boy crushes. When I was really young, an elder's kid was my biggest crush (was actually a HUGE crush for me for a LONG time...we're talking from the time I was 8 until I was 17 lol...but his dad was removed for "apostasy", but never DF'ed. The whole family with the exception of one kid all faded...he's an elder, but the one I had a crush on is completely out). Two brothers had caught my eye when we first switched congregations. One was tall and dark and my opinion of handsome at the time (I was like 13 lol) and the other was short and light and cute. And one other was someone I had considered a good friend...I wanted more, and it seemed he did too most times. Turns out he was just a damn flirt and he treated all girls that way! I worked with his mom, so I was at his house a lot. His mom asked me to befriend his little sister because she had no "female rolemodels" who were teens. I did. He took this as me "horning in on his territory" and pulled me into the second school after the meeting one Sunday to make it clear that he "could never like me that way" and there were no feelings whatsoever. He went a step further and accused me of being friends with his sister in order to be close to him! I think the worst thing he did to me was this: He came home one evening with a bunch of sisters. He KNEW I would be there. They were all jabbering away in the kitchen and I came in to say hi. Now, every one of these sisters had their own car and had driven themselves. I didn't even have my license yet, and I was older than they were. I was closer to his age. He turns to me and says "Hey we're going to go to the mall to get some clothes for the assembly..." so I said "Oh, cool!" thinking that he was about to invite me. He finished with "there's no room in the car for you...My dad's asleep so can you stay with my sister until my mom gets home?". Fucker. His sister was very well old enough to stay alone.

  So yeah... It was hell. Add to it that I was constantly bullied and harassed in school, and then beaten at home by my mother and my brother and verbally abused by my father... I had nowhere to turn to. Nowhere was safe. Not even "Jehovah's House".
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  DonutZ!

  I'm still a teenager so I don't think I should really post here but I'm turning 20 in August so....I remember middle school I was always bullied by the "cool" kids for being different. I had only a few friends at school. I remember when my mom caught me jerkin off to a swimsuit calendar I got, I hid myself in the bathroom with my gameboy lol. My dad was never a witness and I loved spending time with him on the weekends though. In high school freshman year my dad fell off a tree and became paralyzed. All the brothers at the KH noticed me for a while then. In tenth grade I was constantly harassed by a girl who would show me her body but I would be a good jw boy and turn away (I kinda regret not looking lol). In my senior year I remember being with a *omg* worldly girl alone and I kept on wondering if she was gonna do anything to me but nothing happened lol then I decided to break the rules and found a sister and dated her secretly! Lol half of all my childhood friends from the hall are now gone though. I shouldve been a bad kid.
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  rebel8

  Whenever we tried to find something that was acceptable and fun, they would quash it. Dancing, music, movies, get-togethers, games, roller skating, etc.--all scorned.

  Basically the goal was to quash all joy. I don't think it was conscious but they just automatically thought any hobbies or fun were bad & we should be spending all our time meditating on bible stuff and in fs. We were instructed to bring literature to school to read at lunch or on the bus so we wouldn't have time to even think about anything else.

  Besides that it was abusive, resulting in me almost dying a few times.
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  Deceived

  My whole childhood and teenage years were horrible. My parents set me up to be teased and bullied and delighted in it. Other kids in the same congregation as me and in the same school would even tease me because I had to be the model JW obedient child and they didn't. I was very pretty but my Mom tried to make me as homely and dowdy as possible. The kids called me fleabags.

  I wasn't allowed to play with any of the other JW children as they were never theocratic enough. I was an only child and it was lonely. When I was 9 in 1958 (oh that dates me lol) we moved to where the need was great to a town with NO JW's. My parents worked hard and in a few years we had a congregation of newly hatched converts. BUT all the kids were not theocratic enough to associate with me so I was still on my own and I had no friends at school because I was so different. In those days living in a small town, you just couldn't be different in anyway. Summer holidays were spent going from door to door everyday as my parents were pioneers and went to unassigned territory. Fun was having a picnic lunch beside a lake but no time to swim. I could go on and on but I am sure I wasn't the only one. My parents were very extreme compared to other JW parents and made the whole thing seem like a prison sentence. My Mom kept having nervous breakdowns and spending weeks holded up in her bedroom. I was expected to do the housework and cleaning starting at the age of 11.

  My Dad was the Elder (Congregation servant then) in control and he let that power go to his head. He was constantly beating me with a belt, pulling my hair and pounding the table screaming at me. I wasn't living up to his expectations of bible scholar. I vowed to leave even though I was terrified I would die at Armageddon which was coming soon. I left at 18, so messed up, shunned, no friends and so naive. I clung to anyone that would pay me attention, I constantly cried and was emotionally messed up because I still believed it was the truth but would rather die than live such a dull boring life. I made up for all the dullness by becoming a wild child and a party animal. I eventually settled down but it affected me greatly. I still suffer from low self esteem.
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  CandleLight

  Being raised a JW, it was completely impossible to discover myself as a person. I think that is what should happen when your a teen, a self-identity. It wasn't until I left the organization that I was fully able to do this.

  I have some good memories as a JW, mostly involving friendships, sadly the bad overwhelms most of it.
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  Iamallcool

  (bookmarking)
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  PaintedToeNail

  Deceived-What a sad story, I'm sorry that you had such a lonely, isolated childhood, captive to an abusive father and a mother who had nervous breakdowns. You really had a tough row to hoe. I'm hoping that your life has been happier now.
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  jaguarbass

  I was born and raised in the tower by my mother. My father was not a witnoid.

  The bad part of being a JW teenager was all of the meetings and assemblies and field service.

  For the most part my fun times were not associating with witnesses.

  I would play and hang out with the kids from school.

  The witnesses were not normal to me, they were weird.

  I felt it was a curse to have the special knowledge of the truth.

  Overall having been raised as a JW teenager was much better than being a middle aged ex JW.

  I would love to go back to my teen years with limited responsibilities.

  If I could go back to my teen years knowing what I know now I would have rebelled and rejected

  authority and I would have paid attention in school and applied myself to getting a education.

  As a Jw teenager, since my father was not a witness, I was on the track and wrestling and golf team in school.

  Every week during the wrestling and track season my name was in the local paper for winning matches.

  And I had letters and a sweater, and lots of ribbons.

  Also I played guitar so I was always in a band both with worldly friends and witness friends.

  I grew up in the 50's and 60's, I think the society was different back then.

  We had lots of picknicks, the brothers got togehter every week and played baseball, football and basketball.

  The friends went sled riding, tobaganing and skiing together.

  Durnig my youth and teen years, I played as much as I could.

  My teen years as a witness were more enjoyable than my 50's out of the society.

  But I dont know how much that has to do with being a witness.

  When your young the world is fresh and new. When your old the world is old and dull.