Disassociation Letter

by dontplaceliterature 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  dontplaceliterature

  Have any of you who formally diassociated yourself from Jehovah's Witness by letter sent anything in writing to the entire congregation?

  Would it be considered bad form to send a letter to friends in the congregation regarding your decision and the reasons for it, before/after/simultaneously you send a letter to the BoE?

  I think I would feel compelled to, out of acknowledgement that most of them would not speak to me after "The Big Announcement." I'm sure the rumors would fly anyway, but at least some effort could be put towards informing people before you are labled as an "Apostate."

  Thoughts?
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  Nobleheart

  I'd really appreciate any feedback on this, too. I'm planning to DA, and I want to send a few letters to some friends. Chances are, they won't read it if I send it after the announcement has been made. So I think it best to give the friends and the elder(s) the letters in person within the same week.
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  Gayle

  The results are the same, whether you write to them or not. But if it may make the 'writer' feel more complete, then go for it. Some have written several pages. I think it's best if one feels compelled to write, a one-pager, to the point will be about all they will be able to absorb at any one given time.
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  InterestedOne

  Although I don't know what it's like to be a JW, I would probably send a letter to my friends immediately prior to sending the official disassociation letter. From a purely human standpoint, it shows that you value communication with them & value them as people. In a corporate scenario, you'd probably give your two-week's notice to your boss first & then send goodbye letters to your close co-workers. If you didn't notify your boss first, your letters could turn into gossip & he/she would wonder why you told your co-workers first & waited to notify him/her - could be bad form. In the case of JW's, you don't have any choice but to send letters to your friends first & then immediately send the official letter. If you send the official letter first, I gather your friends won't read your letters after the fact. I'd say you may have to risk possible bad form because the situation the group has created is, in my opinion, bad form to begin with.
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  sabastious

  Just for the record, for some Witnesses, recieving a DA letter from a loved one ranks among the highest of their life's painful experiences. I would recommend writing a DA letter; but only send it after careful consideration and possibly some long talks with some close friends.

  -Sab
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  zeroday*

  My DA letter was 2 sentences 1) I da myself and 2) I no longer want to be known as a JW...I never saw a need to go into any reason for my decision as it wouldn't make any difference the rumor mill will run wild anyway. The result will be the same. Your friends and family are conditioned to consider you lost and blinded by satans system.
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  Black Sheep

  Do you remember all those warnings from the platform & the rags?

  As soon they realise they are reading the words of an apostate, all those warnings kick in.

  If you ever want a chance to help any of them see the the WT isn't what it pretends to be, you have to get a bit more cunning than announcing your new Apostatehood from the rooftops.
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  willyloman

  What Black Sheep said.

  And why would you write them a letter at all? Just stop going, and don't answer your phone when they call (if they call).

  The DA letter is the Watchtower's tool, for their benefit, not yours. In this man-made prison without walls, the incarceration stops the moment you no longer give them any power over you.
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  zeroday*

  I don't disagree with you willyloman but for me it was a need for finalty I wanted it perfectly clear I was no longer one of them so for me it was the right thing to do...
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  zoiks

  Sending something in writing to selected people is something that I have considered. If I am ever caught and DF'd for apostacy- ala Cantleave and Nugget, for example- I might send a note to some former associates and very briefly tell them that I am being disfellowshipped for my disbelief- and NOTHING ELSE.

  Then maybe, just maybe, those people would have a chance to think about the situation outside of all of the gossip.