by garlic81 37 Replies latest jw friends
R - O - F - L, Little Sister!!!! GrrrrrreeEEEAAAT!!
I liked Found Sheep's" version of the Saturday afternoon's symposium... Gonna work up a version of my own in a little bit...
Loved LeperMessiah's comment about that list, too...
And Heartbreaker's reply about the "audio-only" drama: "Audio drama is where you just sit on your numb butt and listen to a drama, but there are no actors. They are all on stike, don'tcha know??!..."
Priceless!!!
Ext: Jerusalem Marketplace
Young PUBLISHER (THOMAS) approaches VENDER (BROTHER JEBEDIAH) selling fruit.
BROTHER JEBEDIAH
Fruit! Fresh Fruit!
(break)
Oh! Hello young brother Thomas! What brings you here?
THOMAS
Hello brother Jebediah. I'm just taking a break from the field ministry.
(Gestures wildly)
I placed a one of the new scrolls we just received from the Faithful Slave regarding Jehovah.
BROTHER JEBEDIAH
Good job. Here have an apple on the house.
THOMAS
Thanks!
(Looks around wildly)
I sure won't miss this place.
BROTHER JEBEDIAH
What do you mean by that?
THOMAS
Well we were just reminded of at the Thursday night meeting that this place will be destroyed.
(Stomps foot wildly)
we must be ready for when the Governing Body says to leave at a moment's notice!
BROTHER JEBEDIAH
(Rolls eyes wildly)
Well I don't know about that. The Governing Body is too busy overseeing the world wide work to know what it is really like for us family men. I can't be expected to leave my market - I've got a family to feed. Besides we know they have been wrong in the past.
THOMAS
Brother Jebediah you sound like an apostate!
BROTHER JEBEDIAH
(Shakes head and waves arms wildly)
Oh no! I love Jehovah. I just don't see why I have to listen to the Governing Body.
(Places hand on Thomas' shoulder ... not so wildly)
Am I not of the anointed ... just like them? Won't I know when the right time to leave is?
THOMAS
I dunno. You've given me something to think about.
(Ponders wildly)
Well thanks for the apple I better get back to my my ministry work. I have a return visit this afternoon with a Pharisee! I can't wait to tell him about Jehovah!
That's A+ material, donuthole! We need to get a group together one day and just create our own cult. There's a lot of money to be made!
Hilarious!!!! So dead-on accurate.
Apple danish and hoagies..............................yum
Imitate Those Who Maintain Intimacy with Jehovah ... How Mary did so
How Catholic * of them! "Mary, Mother of Christ, Mother of the Church."
* If the Vatican website would offend you, don't click the link.
This is another waste of time. Imitate those who maintained intimacy with Jehovah--what idiotic instructions! Just because Abraham, Ruth, Hezekiah, and Mary did something, does it make it wise or even possible for us to do the same thing? Suppose all these people drank from a river that is either heavily polluted today or no longer exists. Would that mean we should also drink from that same river? It could well have been perfectly clean back in those days. Also, does that mean we all need to move into the Middle East? They all lived there.
How Jehovah draws close to us. That is a whopper--He only draws close to us to take advantage of us, usurp our lives, and to stop us from fulfilling any personal dreams and goals. I would definitely not want that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag to do that.
Letting Jehovah's discipline mold you? As if we have no right to be independent thinkers, or to create value of any kind. Yet, He never creates any value. And, why not become enraged against that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag? I bet that was put there only so He can get away with all the sxxx He feels like doing to us, and so He can continue doing so while we blame ourselves. Also, so He can continue usurping value from us while pretending He is eventually going to deliver us from what He is, in reality, creating.
If Friday was the frying pan, Saturday is the fire. Friday tells us to study ourselves. Saturday is about field circus. Helping people becoming reconciled to God (meaning making them give up their lives so they can pretend that their deliverance from God's distress is at hand. You are supposed to have "fine conduct"--meaning you are not supposed to have any fun lest someone think you are sinning and not join the cancer. Fulfilling your role and zealously persevering means you are supposed to continually waste your time and resources in a work that will never be finished. You cannot even successfully reduce the amount of work left, let alone complete it.
"For those loving Jehovah, there is no stumbling block". Then, how come they keep harping on refraining from doing things against which the Bible says nothing, so we can avoid stumbling others? "Stumble none in the ministry"--if there is no stumbling block, why do we need to watch how we walk to avoid stumbling anyone?
"Full time service strengthens your relationship with Jehovah". Hardly. What I have noticed is that full time field circus keeps you from doing anything useful. You are wasting all your time doing a work that cannot even be reduced, dragging yourself to the Kingdumb Hell day after day, ruining your body with fast, good-tasting poison every day and not enough sleep, and never having time to do household projects. I have seen homes that were in disrepair (not just dirty, but with paint that was in crappy condition and worse) while the owners were pio-sneering. I have also seen cars (two of them, to be exact) where the seats were close to falling out while the vehicle was in motion, and the owners were pio-sneering. How this can lead to a healthy relationship with any God is beyond me.
Letting nothing distance you from Jehovah? They give all the possible reasons why the cost of doing His will would exceed the benefits. If you are sick, getting well should be a priority (and, if they would get more sleep and eat better food than McDonalds all the time, they might not get sick in the first place). Pride is something we should rightfully have for a work that is well done, and for doing what is good for ourselves and/or society. If they didn't have directives against a decent career, money would not be such an issue--I would like to see whoever wrote that up try living without money. Family is important--if you neglect family for Jehovah, are they going to turn out loyal? Probably not. Recreation is necessary: What would happen, especially with children, if you take all fun away for religion? Are they going to truly love the God that robbed them of all fun? And technology is useful: Bad religions are bashed online, and good paradigms are praised. Technology can have pitfalls (texting while driving, worse even than drunk driving, for instance). But, if the benefits of using it exceed the total cost, it should be used. If you are afraid of the EMI that some of these devices generate, there are devices that protect the user from electromagnetic interference.
"Do not give out when corrected by Jehovah." This is part of the Grand Scam of Original Sin. Jehovah distresses mankind, then promises to deliver us from this distress if we obey Him. Of course, the rules are always against us (whom He actually hates), and not for our benefit. These corrections are to prevent us from solving our own problems--of which Satan and Jesus were the two biggest examples. Every time someone is about to solve our problems, that Almighty Lowlife Scumbag barges and fouls it up with "corrections", which can include death (just ask Jesus).
Of all the things listed on the Sunday symposium, which have you personally observed within the congregation? I myself have seen none, and when they do pop up, the hounders fix the "problem". They are far from reasonable, and anyone attempting to display these traits is beaten into submission or those to whom they display the traits are removed from the group.
And, remaining in the secret place of the Most High Lowlife Scumbag? You mean, the Kingdumb Hell and in field circus? This is supposed to mean the witlesses that are faithful receive the information first. Which is not true: I have many times received the information right here weeks or months before the active witlesses had a clue about it. You get a rumor that "something" is going on in the congregation, while the apostates have known about it for several weeks already.
Another guilt inducing wastefest.
"Alienated and Hopeless"
I didn't know my congregation elders were involved in the program!
The Dubs are no longer evangelizers. They are to fulfill their role as "evangelizing assistants." Can the borg get any more condescending toward the rank and file?
Being May and DCs just weeks away.....
felt this was BTT worthy!
My money is on another “creation” dvd or a “lite” creation book - ie one that has lots of nice pictures about complexity & design in creation that gives evidence of a loving , caring creator (somehow I doubt the Guinea worm will make it past the final edit) rather than an attempt to “prove” creation like the old Evolution book or Creation book. Why go to all the hassle of trying to dissect the fossil record when you can have a picture of a butterfly?
A Jeremiah based book also looks probable. The days when the WTBTS attempted a verse-by-verse unpicking and interpretation of these books with “modern day applications” are gone now that Fred Franz is dead – it tends to be a compilation of picking out of random scriptures (usually relating to preaching – easy with Jeremiah) and applying them to modern day JWs.
Like Donuthole , I can’t help but think that a drama based around the destruction of Jerusalem in 70ce will give the WTBTS free reign to introduce new characters that annoyingly were missed when the bible was compiled. Johan , who was too busy in his business to flee to the mountains. Sulano , who listened to false stories and ignored the Governing Body in Jerusalem , who were giving fine guidance at the appropriate time. Delaso , who wanted to have a good time in the nightspots around Mount Zion & ignored the warnings. Not forgetting Shivaso and Degritos , the zealous pioneers , and Heratos , the faithful old elder who remembered when Jesus was around.
