by Quillsky 63 Replies latest jw friends
If a baptized JW who is known to have been struggling with homosexual feelings spends the night with another known homosexual, it could be considered for judicial committee.
I know that there are many non practicing homosexuals as JW's. If you want to be an elder, you keep it to yourself. Otherwise, you can talk about it with the elders and you won't be censured, although if you admit your struggling you won't be considered for those wonderful "privileges of service".
There's a JW around here that's a VERY confirmed bachelor, and he invites many a young man on a cruise.... I knew he was a very confirmed bachelor because I talked to one of his lovers. He invited both my youngest cousin and my brother on a cruise.
They should have went. They would have had a gay old time!
(sorry, couldn't resist)
They would have had a gay old time!
WIIIILMAAAA!!!!
My mother suggested I could stay a non practising celebate gay because the new system was so close I would be perfect and straight in it.
That was 25 years ago and the gay aint washed away.
She also suggested suicide was a viable option as I would get resurrected. It was the cruelest thing she ever said.
I've known at least a couple of male bisexual JWs who were married. Both were very effeminate, not that being effeminate necessarily means anything. Actually, I only know that one was bisexual for sure (confessed to the BOE). The other is an elder and would never admit it in a million years due to his JW ladder-climbing aspirations.
Plenty of Bethelites are NPGs, Non-Practicing Gays. And more than a few over the years got a little "practice" in as well. (This is second-person information from a very reliable ex-Bethelite.)
Finally, I know of one JW who was DFed for homosexuality, decided to come back to JWism, and got reinstated, but is something of a social pariah among the JWs. He doesn't refer to himself as "gay". It's widely known that he "struggles against homosexual urges".
Poor bloke.
Now that I think of it, JWs should welcome "gay" people since JWs are the Happiest People On Earth (tm).
om
I Googled the subject (don't you just love Google?) and found this: http://www.witnesses.plus.com/
It is only for baptised witnesses. DF's not allowed to join.
The guest book (all available to read without joining) made some interesting reading with folks from all over the world struggling with their sexuality but trying to stay within the boundaries of JW's.
Interestingly several comments on there (I didn't have time to read them all - I skimmed through them so there may be more) mentioned that they had 'come out' to the congregations and were still accepted. Others mention serving as MS or elders through their 'struggle', whilst some are married and still in the closet.
I can think of a brother I was close to for many years who really struggled with his gayness. He has never practised and is now in his 50's. He has thrown himself into the 'Truth' - serving as an MS and pioneer. I can't help feeling sorry that he was so self disgusted by his own feelings and at the same time terrified of losing face to the organisation - knowing that he can never express his sexuality. What a repressed way to live.
There used to be a forum he was attached to through which he met other brothers who were in the closet. Although initially it was viewed as a source of support to keep them all strong - inevitably what happened was that some on there met, had sex, and were disfellowshipped.
I think of the brothers who are at the meeting and assemblies looking all smart in their suits and no doubt being pursued by single sisters yet being incarcerated in their own beliefs and choices. If only they could see that the controlling element of their beliefs is not going to make them happy long term.
HOTB
I think there are more NPGs in the org than one would think. Some marry to fit in with their congregation but the ones I knew left to live their true lifestyle.
When I was younger there was an openly gay JW in our congregation but he eventually left to live a gay lifestyle. He was never disfellowshipped as the elders figured he was 'touched' in the head and would be corrected in the new system. All of the young kids loved him...he was always very happy and very over the top.
Friends of the family, there daughter married a gay JW. However, she didn't know he was gay but the elders in his congregation knew it. Well about 5 years and 2 kids later, he had an affair with another JW male and confessed to her that he was always gay. Her entire family was devastated that no one told her that the JW was gay. The funny part about was a lot folks from his congregation thought it was obvious and simply thought she was desperate. He's DF'd and they are still together and from what I hear, he's still gay.
There was a lesbian(s) in our congregation but I never figured out who it was. There was a local needs talk about women dressing modestly because of sisters with lesbian tendencies
Finally, one day a group of us were out to dinner and a male JW friend said he had something to tell us. He told us that he was gay and could no longer remain celibate. He told us that he was going to talk with the elders the next day. He was df'd the next week. He and his lover of several years regularly attend the sunday meeting.
Hmmm...guess I don't know any NPGs.
Awake 1980 6/22 p 17 " Homosexuality—How Rewarding as a Way of Life?"
" It was at this unhappy time in my life that I met the man I lived with for the next 10 years. Right from the outset, my new partner and I got on really well. I was extremely fond of him and we began to set up home together much as a normal married couple might do. We viewed our relationship as something rather unique and special. Neither of us felt freakish or strange about it.
As a couple of companions we were very happy. There was an intense, deep and loving relationship between us. In fact, we felt that the love we had was deeper than that of many heterosexual relationships we observed. Though we had many opportunities to go with others and inducements to do so, we always stuck together. Those 10 years he and I were together were among the happiest years of my life up to that time."
He then became a J W and comments further :
My first reaction was to get my companion to learn God’s ways. I wanted him to make the change in his life pattern too. Members of the local congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses often invited us out to meals and social gatherings. We were shown much understanding. My companion had every reason to see that he was not being left out of things. Indeed, he was being encouraged as much as I was. But sadly, he did not accept the truth as I had hoped.
We eventually divided up our flat, each having his own room. But soon, we had to acknowledge that a split between us was the only solution. How was I going to do it? I remember thinking: “Well, Jehovah will make it possible for me.” I had my trust in him.
The time came and we decided to part. It was like slicing off one whole side of my character, leaving it on the ground.
Many of my Christian brothers have been so very encouraging and kind. I am truly grateful for the loving opportunities and guidance Jehovah has given me through his Word, his spirit and his Christian congregation. It is my heartfelt desire to conform to the life-giving Christian personality and live to bring increased praise to his name.
You have heard it said, as I have: “Once a homosexual always a homosexual.” But it was not that way with me. I quit, once and for all. Even so, I still have to work on changes in my life pattern. How reassuring it has been for me to bear in mind Jehovah’s all-embracing understanding of my problems! I have grown to realize that he alone knows individual circumstances and backgrounds and takes into consideration damage caused by environment and in other ways as he lovingly gives guidance through his holy spirit.
There have been many times when I felt I would have to give in to the pressures. Yet I knew that I had benefited in so many other ways from the truth. After all, sexual desire is not all there is to one’s life. There is so much more to living, and I found that, having the truth of God’s Word, other avenues opened up to me, helping me in my desire to see changes in myself. Yet, problems take time to resolve. Homosexuality is no exception.
When the apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthians he mentioned homosexuality as a gross sin, but he did not particularly underline it as the only one, or as being worse than the others mentioned there. He listed it along with other serious human failings, and surely if we fail in any one of those it means coming into God’s disfavor. But I have found that, when we try to conquer our weakness, Jehovah strengthens us. To expect to get any instantaneous cure would be wrong. But with Jehovah’s spirit helping in the exercise of self-control, I have learned that it is possible to work on in the way of the truth and manifest Christian endurance.—Rom. 5:1-5.
It is humbling for me to know that Jehovah has been able to use me, and despite my imperfections he continually strengthens me."
[ I guessed that that format problems would come with this quote - the post page looks o k belive me ]]
It appears that they were associating with a VERY unusual congregation (it implies that it was in London which may explain someting) . All the ones I knew would show great antipathy to men like them.
I've known a few people. They usually go to Bethel or fade away. You seem to stand out a lot if you don't get married. I think some people would be really encouraged if brothers came out. Others woudl be utterly shocked.
What I noticed is that a lot of JW's think that if you are gay you're also a pedophile.
We had a single brother in the cong. from whom everybody knew he was gay.
He was a verry social person, but people were nice to him in his face, but behind his back they gossiped a lot about him saying realy mean and untrue things Like: be careful don't let your male children alone with him...
And I also gay, had a simulair experience, when my father found out I was was gay( and he was an elder) he said: What's the next step? doing it with little children? and he elders of the committee called me a pervert for doing it with men.
And this is in the netherlands, one of the most free countries for gays......
So you see, even if you would want to( Not me)...being gay and a JW is made almost impossible by the brothers and sisters in the congregation.
