loving someone vs. being in love vs. infatuation....

by oompa 16 Replies latest social relationships

  • Leprechaun
    Leprechaun

    Let me tell yeh something Hansen, if you don’t have the Hot’s for someone and want to bonk them day in and day out, or at least be near them and touch them, well, brother you better not tie the knot with them.

    1. (adj.) Attracted strongly or irresistibly, as with love:

    • enamored

    • besotted

    • bewitched

    • enthralled

    • entranced

    • crazy about (colloquial)

    • mad about

    • daft about (chiefly British, colloquial)

    • gaga (colloquial)

    • drawn to

    • head-over-heels

    • keen on

    • moonstruck

    • rapt

    • smitten

    • enchanted

    • taken with

    • repelled (antonym)

    • repulsed (antonym)

    1. (adj.) Attracted strongly or irresistibly, as with love:

    • enamored

    • besotted

    • bewitched

    • enthralled

    • entranced

    • crazy about (colloquial)

    • mad about

    • daft about (chiefly British, colloquial)

    • gaga (colloquial)

    • drawn to

    • head-over-heels

    • keen on

    • moonstruck

    • rapt

    • smitten

    • enchanted

    • taken with

    • repelled (antonym)

    • repulsed (antonym)

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    The ancient Greeks had 4 separate words for "love" and they didn't know any more about it than we do!

    Farkel

  • zagor
    zagor

    LOL oompa, ok I'll try hard not to sound like I'm lecturing you here after all I've been through shit myself before, so here we go..

    To be honest mate, if you are considering real relationship with someone then infatuation is what you definitely DON'T want to use as the foundation. It is easy to get infatuated when one has just come out of a relationship and you want to recapture that "magic" again with someone else. Its particularly the case when you can't, for whatever reason, get physical with the person for longer than normal and then your emotions start to run riot.

    The problem with that is, you are really not 'in love' with that person per se, but are living in your own head, suspended in vacuum, addicted to your own emotions i.e. chemical in your brain. Might as well use wine or beer and have 10-15 one night stands to get your mind back to normal before looking back that that "relationship". Chances are you'll wonder how in the hell you ever got infatuated in the first place.

    To be really in love with someone or love the person then there's gotta be something more, shall we say deeper that connects you two (and I don't mean only thrusting during sex)
    Seriously, if the way that person thinks is not aligned with yours; and by that I don't mean her being into, say, something spiritual like yoga while you being more of a practitioner preferring more hands on things like say a hand job, i.e. you gotta love what she is inside, you each gotta be able to feel what the other is thinking, if not I woudn't even consider it if I were you at least not beyone one nighter. You really have to love what she is inside because that's what you'll have to live with when sex is over.

    Anyway, I'm usually not into these sorts of quizzes but just googled it and came across this. It might be fun to try it.. http://www.quiztron.com/tests/love_or_infatuation_quiz_13539.htm

    My suggestion to you is to go out more. Meet new people. There were Christmass and New Year parties, surely you've met an interesting person or two. But don't stop only there, explore. Get clear on what you really want. Infatuation makes you focus so much onto someone else that you forget yourself and what's important to YOU, not to mention it can make you look stupid as well. Infatuation comes with irrational doubts of what is potentially not there and blindness to what is really there. Develop methods to find out what really motivates someone who wants your attention as well as whether the person is compatible with the way of life you are living. Speaking alone with that person must be experience of a lifetime every time, something beyond their 'bang-factor'. So if you don't enjoy talking to her that much, move on there's pleny more around.

  • oompa
    oompa

    damm zagor....that was awesome!....send me the bill doc!............i am assuming you are a guy and i should definately hang out with you!!.....i really appreciate your entire post and geeze now i have a test to take???.......i am going to pm you my email and number.......THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!.....oompa

    and so many funny things here....i really liked your post too leprechaun!......

  • nugget
    nugget

    Love is something you miss when it's gone. If you have it keep hold of it.

    I was infatuated once I was young. it was unpleasant while it lasted. We had nothing in common and ultimately made each other miserable in the end.

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    I like to work with wood so I can become infatuated with a nice piece of oak. I'm easily amused..

  • xmkx
    xmkx

    All relationships start with a honey moon period, i.e. period of infatuation. This is speculated to last somewhere around the first 2 years of the relationship. During this time period "faults" are considered to be cute and adorable rather than bothersome. Then reality starts sinking in and you start finding those "faults" to be bothersome, and that's when the trouble starts. There will be a period of conflict following that either breaks or cements the relationship.

    The best way to avoid empty relationships is to just take your time about things. Don't get married/move in together during the infatuation period and/or interpret it as "true love" and just enjoy it for what it is - a temporary moment of euphoria that kick starts a new relationship.

    BTW, infatuation can become an addiction for those with dependency and/or abandonment issues, so do be careful. If you feel like you wish you could stay infatuated all the time chances are you have an addiction brewing.

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