I haven't posted much here but I feel like I need some support right now. I did post my story, but basically I'm 27, married for 7 years and i was DF'd in July. I always knew I didn't want to be a JW but went along with everything because of fear. I got the nerve to leave my husband and was DF'd a couple weeks later. I am now with someone who I knew growing up - also was a JW and has been DF'd for 9 years. It's nice to have someone who can relate but at the same time I can still see the pain it causes him.
I have joint custody of my kids and I have my SO and that's it. I have no other friends and feel so alone. Last night I broke down because I missed my family so much - my parents(my father is an elder) and my brothers. My parents have spoken with me twice since this happened. The last conversation I had with them they told me that they just wanted me to be happy and if this was going to make me happy then that's all they could hope for. After I left my husband they got to know him and his controlling parents more and told me they completely understand why I left him. My Ex husband is rarely letting them see the kids so we talked about me dropping my kids off so they could spend time with them. My parents also told me I was still a great mother and they would support me in the court system if it came down to the Ex trying to get full custody.
After that I called them to make sure they had my number and discussed with my father about having them watch the kids some days when I was at work. Then weeks later I sent them a text message seeing if they could watch my kids for me because I had to study for an exam. They didn't reply. I called them and they didn't answer.
I guess I'm confused about mixed signals from them for one - and secondly I just really miss them. I'm pretty well all on my own and some days are so so hard. Last night I just wanted to call my mom and have her tell me everything would be ok but I can't.
Does it get easier? Will they come around? Will they always be wishy-washy, talk to me one day and then completely ignore me the rest of the time? Will I always feel so alone?
I've learned that disfellowshipping is the worst thing you can do to someone. I guarantee most people who "go back" are going back for people - whether it's fake friendships or not, I understand that now.
I don't believe it's the true religion and I'm out to show my kids there's something more to life. I will never go back, especially not for people but I need to know that i won't feel like this forever.