Well I posted before and got some good advice, so I thought I'd give it another go and see what happens.
To quickly explain the situtaion: my grandma is a JW with two daughters -- my aunt (who is a JW) and my mom (who is not a JW but grew up as one). My aunt is one of those people who reads a website like WebMD and thinks she knows more than any medical doctor. This concerns my grandma and she talked to my mom about making an appointment with an attorney to set up my mom with power of attorney. They talked about this over several weeks and my mom assured her several times that, while she does not believe in any of the JW stuff, she understands that my grandma does and would honor her wishes that she not receive blood or go through any other procedure that would violate her beliefs.
Fast forward to the meeting with the attorney. My grandma brings in some kind of document from the elders that is supposed to be included. She is very skeptical about the attorney even making a copy of it and is uncomfortable throughout the entire meeting. Basically my grandma did a 180 and was now uncomfortable signing anything that would give my mom any control over her medical care since she is not a JW. The attorney mentions something about dividing up control and giving my aunt control over medical and my mom control over finances (of which there are none since it all went to the WT years ago). This sounds better to my grandma, but my mom reminds her that the whole point was to not give medical authority to my aunt who thinks she ought to be a doctor based on her Google research and her high school diploma. The whole meeting with the attorney is a mess and nothing gets signed.
Where I need advice: I have my mom in tears telling me the story. She has spent so much time with my grandma lately and they have become close again where they didn't have much of a relationship for many years. My mom told me it really hurt her to think her own mother can't trust her to do what my grandma would want in the event there was a medical emergency ...and that it reminded her of why she took a step back from having a relationship with her years ago. She is certain my grandma mentioned the attorney visit to my aunt who, in turn, went to the elders and told them that my grandma was going to give medical authority to a non-JW. Subsequently the goon squad probably put my grandma in her place.
The bottom line is: Is there any way to make my mom feel better? I made her laugh by saying, "What do they think? You've been chasing Grandma around with a packet of blood for years just waiting for her to turn her back so you could stick it in her?!" I also told her that maybe she should just tell my grandma that, while she is interested in having a relationship with her, apparently the trust is not there like she thought it was. I don't know what to say, really. If anybody can relate to this or has gone through this, I'm sure they're on these forums. Any suggestions?