Having been through these things myself, I ask you: why are you battling with your ex over custody? Really. You should examine your own reasons for this pursuit. Sometimes the end results are not really what you would end up liking the best. More questions:
- Do you realize how painful this will be for all involved, including grandparents, other relatives, friends, but most of all you, your ex and your children?
- Is she abusive?
- Is she a good mother?
- Do you understand you can do a lot of good with your children if you get them on the weekends, holidays, for the summer, etc.?
- Do you understand that even if you gain custody, she can keep you in court for the rest of your childrens' childhoods trying to get custody back?
- Have you not noticed that many couples do better by sharing custody and responsibility for their children and the children do better?
I've seen couples who realize that it's not so bad sharing custody or the weekend/holiday/summer arrangements. They decide it's better to get along and work together, to be civil, even friendly to each other. The children have bedrooms at both houses and get to enjoy the best each fragment of their family has to offer.
Fighting parents do not realize how quickly childhood passes. Then they are left looking back at all the energy, money and time they wasted battling each other, when they could have used those resources, passions and energies truly helping their children have the best childhood and family experience possible under the circumstances.