As a loyal JW, I was ready for my whole world to come to an earth-shattering halt and for life as I knew it to be gone...at the hand of my loving God. I only remember a life of grey, shades of grey punctuated by flashes of color and emotion which I quickly prayed to get through and to not be tempted by the colors I had seen. I viewed these as a sign of spiritual weakness and dove back into studying and praying and a living death I called "spiritual paradise".
After leaving that life behind I now find myself in an exploding rush of emotion and passion and life. Life the people around me think nothing of but it is almost too painful and beautiful and wonderful to endure. I am touched to the soul at the sight of people holding hands, and cry when babies laugh, and am intoxicated by the beauty around me. I am exhausted at the end of each day with the emotions I now can almost taste and the tuggings and longings I now feel to my bones. I want to see it all. I want to feel everything. I want to thank everyone who had a hand in dragging me from the lifeless shell I was in while I fought them off and never forget that gratitude.
Thank you to the posters here for extending your hands and hearts, the lurkers for your curious spirits ( you aren't seen or heard but are very much felt), and the friends I have made for being the voice on the other end of the phone or the hands on the keyboards through my screen pointing the way for me, and to the friends I have yet to meet (may we walk this journey together). Life is good.