Some single older women in bad circumstances (page 5)

anonochan

I was just having a conversation with my mother about this...

There is a sister in my old congregation who is so pretty. Shes been married before, when she was younger... the guy turned out to be a total jerk and he walked out on her. She had to do the whole camping out in front of his apartment for months to see if she could get some "evidence" that he was cheating on her. After that, she was encouraged to "increase her ministry" and "go pioneer" to "combat the loneliness" she was feeling.

Fast forward to present day...

Shes still "pioneering" and is close to 50 years old. She works as a waitress and lives paycheck to paycheck, lives alone, often breaks down in tears at the KH and has to be rushed into the back room and comforted. The other day my mom and she were out in service and she broke down, burst into tears and started blubbering. Can you believe my mothers advice to her was that she wasn't busy enough, and that she was allowing loneliness to overcome her, and that she needs to spend more time studying and in the field ministry!?

The sad thing is that this woman has been trying so hard to get re-married. But she spends so much time studying and in the field ministry... she has NO time to find someone.

Do the old single guys in brooklyn care? Three guesses.

oompa

shame anochan...shame...that is a total mindfluck!!!!!!!!......oompa

The Oracle

It truly is a terrible shame. It saddens me deeply to think of the thousands of women who have been hurt in this.

How long will this be allowed to continue?

Grab your pitch forks! It's time to storm Columbia Heights! (metophorically speaking, of course)

The Oracle

FlyingHighNow

For the divorced sister who is approaching 50? I know one who is in her 80's. Her much younger, awful, JW exhusband never has let her know she was free. The creep was lusting after her three beautiful daughters and she had to catch him with a tape recorder. The elders would not believe he was peaking in the windows when the girls would change clothing or shower. Then the boobers never would allow her to remarry. She was beautiful all the way through her life.

At least those always single sisters do not have to take care of children on minimum wage jobs and all alone. And out here in the world pr at the kingdom halls? Many men approaching 50 are dating 20 year olds. It's tough for us older women.

Oomp, your son is going to tough things out better than you think he might. Mine is finally getting his head on straight at 24. The beauty of being homeless during the summer at a young, healthy age is that he will do a lot of serious thinking about what he really wants from life and hopefully set goals and go after them.

jaguarbass

The Wactower agency is an equal opportuinity flocker.

The screw everybody.

White Dove

While in, I thought there was something wrong with me. Still do to some extent. No one wanted to date me. The sisters told me that it was because they didn't want an instant family. They wanted to make their own in their own time. I can't begrudge them that. It's their lives. Still, I grew a little jealous of the ones who stubbornly stuck with the virgin forever for the truth attitude. I think that on some level, it's selfish and misdirected.

Lady Lee

I left the JWs when I was 35. I had 2 kids to care for and no education. I hadn't even finished high school.

I was able to use some skills learned as a JW to get work.

I was in sales. And let's face it -- there is nothing harder to sell than a wacky religion. But I had developed some skills

While I cared for some of those elderly JW ladies I learned a bit about being caring for the elderly. I used that to get work as a nursing assistant and being as a personal care worker

I had learned sign language and was able to get work as an interpreter

Granted things have changed and people now need some training to do either of these jobs but it worked well for me at the time.

I also went back to school. Many colleges have older students trying to increase their skills or move into another field of work. At least 1/3 of my class were mature students -- only a couple were older than me. In university there were far more older students so you never have to feel like you stick out like a sore thumb.

After all those years as a JW I won't have a retirement package and as I get older finances might be more difficult but I will get by with my head held high. I'm 56 now today

I've been through the worst and I have survived.

cognizant dissident

Lady Lee: Did you get a degree in psychology or counseling? How far did you go? Any advanced degrees? How old were you when you started college and how old were you when you finished?

Looking for some inspiration here!

Cog (feeling like the oldest person at college, even though I know I'm not)

Lady Lee

Did you get a degree in psychology or counseling?

Initially I went to a community college and was in a 3 year professional social service program. That program taught me individual counseling skills and allowed me to get a job after I graduated if I needed to

How far did you go?

I completed that program and started working as a counselor for incest survivors. The teachers in the program knew I wanted to work in this field so gave me a lot of latitude in my assignments addressing the issues of incest survivors in many directions. I also had to take a certain amount of courses outside of the program so found creative ways to write papers that again addressed my field of study. For example I took several courses in psychology, sociology, creative writing and even speech

Any advanced degrees?

After I completed the program I set up a counseling service for incest survivors and founded a non-profit org. I worked with this while I went on to get a bachelors degree

I started studying psychology but the attitude of the profs really put me off. I never wanted to become as insensitive as most of the profs so after the fuirst year I switched to an Applied Social Service program (APSS). This degree focussed more on working with groups. Between the two programs I had a pretty well rounded foundation in counseling skills. Here to I focussed many of my courses on abuse issues (might as well learn as much as I could while I was there) Here too I had to take courses outside of the program so again I took sociology, psych, and even a course in religion. One of the papers I wrote for the religion course is posted here on JWD

Social Death: The Practice of DFing among JWs

There are a few other papers on my website Lee Marsh Abuse Recovery Page

Another paper that I wrote Virginai Woolf: Incest and its effect on her life was one I did for an English course. We were given a list of authors to write about and her name wasn't on the list. In fact there were few women on the list so I asked the prof if I could write about her. He groaned loudly. Seems hae had read enough papers about her. So I promised that the focus would be different and he actually became interested in my topic. - ahahahaha salesmanship wins again!!!

How old were you when you started college and how old were you when you finished?

I started my first college courses before I actually left the JWs. I was almost 35. I passed those so I was allowed entry into the professional program. Seems most people had to take several courses before "proving" they could handle college level work. So due to the two courses at the beginning I was in college for 3 1/2 years

As I said above I spent a year in psych and then switched to APSS. I did 2 years full time and then 2 or 3 semesters part time so it took me 4 years to get my BA

Remember that we are talking about 1985-1994. So for the initial courses, the college diploma, the year in psych and the BA took me 9 years - all very well spent.

BTW I have been pleasantly surprised to find some of my papers on abuse in the recommended reading lists for university courses.

I wasn't at all amused that my paper on how incest affected the sex life of victims was posted on a porn site. When I demanded that they remove, it they asked for proof that I wrote the piece. I told them I had the original paper with my profs marks on it. They removed the piece.

Keep studying. You will never regret it even those the last semester or two feels like forever

Alligator Wisdom

Shes still "pioneering" and is close to 50 years old. She works as a waitress and lives paycheck to paycheck, lives alone, often breaks down in tears at the KH and has to be rushed into the back room and comforted. The other day my mom and she were out in service and she broke down, burst into tears and started blubbering. Can you believe my mothers advice to her was that she wasn't busy enough, and that she was allowing loneliness to overcome her, and that she needs to spend more time studying and in the field ministry!?

First off anonochan, I am sad for her.

In my current congregation, there are five single sisters, all pioneering for 20+ years. Four of them are in their 40's and one in her 50's. Never married. Very possible still virgins, though I never did ask .

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

Some single older women in bad circumstances

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