The Atheist's Book of Bible Stories

by RunningMan 65 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • RunningMan

    Over the years, I have posted all of the chapters from my Atheist's Book of Bible Stories on this site.

    However, since the original posting, many of the chapters have been polished and updated.

    The complete book is now available for downloading, if anyone is interested:

  • Awakened07

    Thankyou, thankyou.

    -At first I thought it would be a cartoon book (kind of a spoof on the yellow 'Bible stories' book), so when I started browsing, my eyes started glazing over, but THEN! I saw that this is actually the full version of a JWD post i once bookmarked. The post I'm thinking of is the one in which you posted from the "The numbers of the book" chapter. I loved that part.

    So now that I know what this actually is; thanks a lot! Good job (haven't actually read anything but that one part yet, but I'm guessing the rest is good too).

  • inkling

    Congratulations, you hooked me from the introductory
    flypage QUOTES, and that's a pretty impressive feat.

    I'm one page in and already struck by such phrases as:

    "Fear and guilt were stuffed into every crack, to prevent the light from seeping through."
    " I will not compare translations, until I find one that translates around a mistake."

    Wonderful writing, thank you so much for posting this.


  • startingover

    Thanks Fred

    Your book continues to be one of my favorite reads. Everytime I read it I have this overwhelming desire to share it with the world, the christian world that is. I shared one chapter with a JW friend who I can talk freely with, it was the chapter entitled "The Numbers of the Book." The response was that the person didn't have an interest in stuff like that. I know that was just an excuse, because I'm fairly certain that person started reading and didn't get too far before realizing it was time to cover the ears and started chanting "LA LA LA LA LA LA".

    The assumptions you make in the preface are so important. Of course, no christian could abide by those.

    Thanks again!

  • pseudoxristos

    I would like to look at it, but at the moment I'm in Saudi and due to religious paranoia the Saudi government censors certain Internet sites. I'm not sure why they decided that should be censored, but it seems kind of ironic that I can't look at anti-Christian information because of their censorship.

    Anyway, I thought that I would post here to bookmark the thread so I can look at it when I get out of this forsaken place.


  • LtCmd.Lore
    I would like to look at it, but at the moment I'm in Saudi and due to religious paranoia the Saudi government censors certain Internet sites.

    Wow, that sucks. Would it be okay if I emailed it to you?

  • AlmostAtheist

    >> Your book continues to be one of my favorite reads.

    Mine too! It's not at all a dry listing of what's wrong with the Bible. It's a funny, irreverent look at some of the more absurd items. You don't have to be an atheist to appreciate it.


  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Talk about "food at the proper time"!

    I just got my PDA's battery replaced and now I've got some good reading for this Sunday's meeting.

    I just took a quick peek at the introductory pages. Looks great.

    Thank you Running Man.


  • nvrgnbk

    Thank you.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Thanks for the update RM.

    I enjoyed reading them the first time around. It is time I did a refresher course in atheism so I will read them again.



  • Awakened07

    -Perhaps you should have called it 'The Skeptic's Book Of Bible Stories' instead. May have gotten more views that way?

  • Scully

    Thanks for sharing this Running Man. I've always enjoyed your take on these stories.

    Have you ever thought of converting the file to a PDF to give it more "permanence"? It would keep some unscrupulous character from changing your name to theirs and claiming credit that is rightfully yours.

    There are free PDF converters online - this one will email you a copy of your converted document, which you could then upload to sendspace for sharing.

  • VM44

    The conversion is possible the other way as well, going from PDF to word documents.

    The online site,, can be used for free to convert pdf files up to 100Megs in size to word documents.

  • Duncan

    Hey Running man

    Enjoyed reading that all over again.

    Well done - it's a great book.

  • CyrusThePersian

    You emailed this book to me a couple of years ago and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

    You brought out a lot of things about the Bible that a lot of critics of the Bible have never talked about before, like the mathematical absurdities in the Bible.

    I still think you should expand this work and get it published in book form. I bet that some publisher like Prometheus Books would publish it.


  • VM44

    or perhaps you might consider publishing using That would get the book out right away to people who would like to read it in hard copy form.

  • Awakened07

    Oh man - this book deserves so much more recognition and publicity than it's getting!

    I have printed it all out and am reading it as a regular book on paper now (didn't know my printer could print duplex, but it could).

    I've come as far as the tale of how Samson lit the fire, and I'm in stitches! I'm laughing my ass off here!

    You've really done a great job of writing this in an entertaining way, and I salute you for your intelligence and the astute manner in which you have put this forth. Most people, probably myself included, would just read right past these verses and never think twice about them, but you pick up on the smallest things that are actually quite important once you flesh out the details and the numbers and calculations behind it.

    It's a very enjoyable read. Sure - apologists have replies to some of these things (I can sometimes hear my JW conditioning echo in the back of my head while I read), but most of the time they need to add things to the story that aren't there, in an effort to build scaffolding that the story can rest on. But the Word of God shouldn't need scaffolding in the first place, as you also point out.

    I wish Bible believers would read this as well, and appreciate the absurd comedy in it.

  • hotchocolate

    Hey! Does anyone have a copy of this? The link isn't working....

  • lrkr

    The link is not working. But I've been thinking a lot about this lately. We publish books that show in vivid color that the world was destroyed by a flood, but there are not really any childrens books that present the history of the earth and human life as scientists currently understand them.

    A whole generation is being taught that every animal was really put into a wooden box and preserved. Our children will be ashamed of us!!!

  • Eh

    Does anyone have a copy of this? I read some of the Chapters posted throughout the forums and I'd love a copy of the whole polished thing.

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