by VanillaMocha73 9 Replies latest jw friends
OK, so I have another thing to chalk up to the Watchtower. This weekend my dad told my husband that my mother actually ASKED my dad to divorce her because she didn't want to be married to an unbeliever and he wasn't going to get baptized. Not so much the story my mom told me all those years ago.....
I remember being so devastated when my dad left home that I went through a bout with anorexia / depression that nearly did me in. Thanks, Watchtower!!!!!
WOW, Sorry.
I may be wrong, but my understanding is that unless he/she can prove adultry there can be no scriptural divorce. I've been out for 20+ years so maybe things have changed.
Is your dad unhappy in the marraige or is your mom just making demands and giving ultimatum's (sp?)???
Sorry you are going through this, this cult has damaged sooo many people and lives!!!
nj
They have been divorced since I was 16.... Dad got the divorce and remarried - he wasn't a JW so I guess it didn't really matter. Yes, the cult has more damaged lives chalked up to it that I even care to think about. All I can do is pray and hope I can do my part to prevent more damage.
just curious, would you be happier if he were to stay with your mom and be miserable? i think he did what was best for him, im sorry that it affected you so negatively!! and yes, you can probably blame the WTBTS, but you can also blame your mom for that one, as i remember, they only allowed divorce due to adultery or abuse
the infamous one
I may be wrong, but my understanding is that unless he/she can prove adultry there can be no scriptural divorce.
That's still correct...technically speaking. But there has been some evidences of elders recommending that believers, sisters especially, remove themselves from a marriage where the unbelieving mate may cause problems regarding the believer's spirituality.
Not that they would be free to remarry, but they would be free of the influence of the unbeliever. That's all well and good, if the unbeliever is abusive. But there have been times when the unbeliever wasn't abusive but firm in their stance that the WTS/JWs was not appreciated in their home or life and expected the believing mate to share in his/her family traditions. That's when the elders sometimes recommended such drastic measures.
I find it hypocritical that an elder would be quick to recommend that a mate leave their unbelieving mate for spiritual reasons, but will counsel someone to "stick it out" if they want to leave their believing mate due to physical/mental abuse or abuse to the children.
It's obvious that it's all about protecting the cult. Remove the divisive influence, protect the reputation of the congregation.
VM73, my heart goes out to you.
I am a fellow child of parents divorced over the Borg.
My parents never argued about each other in front of the kids, never belittled each other.
It was our understanding that Dad cheated on Mom and she opted for the divorce.
Actually, armageddon didn't come and Dad tried to get her out of the cult. He was
frustrated and felt he lost her to the Witnesses. He got tired of it and said on
December 31, 1975 "The end better come soon." The marriage was really over on
January 1, 1976, but it took awhile before he gave her grounds (adultery).
Odd thing is that she waited another year or so, then got DF'ed over 1975. She went
back years later (after she sowed some wild oats, while the kids were with Dad).
If Dad had badmouthed her religion a bit more, I might have stayed away from it.
He was pretty quiet, but upset when I became a JW. He was the first one I told when
I decided to fade. Not being a JW, he doesn't agree with the fade, saying I should just
walk away clean, whether my wife and mother respect that or not. I think he's the main
reason I faded so fast and now am virtually uncoupled from WTS.
Anyway, I hope my small distraction from your story lightened your grief a bit.
I remember my father burning all my mothers books and literature in a big bon fire. But Jehober miraculously caused them to reappear in our house a couple of months latter.
Wow, sorry. Yes, thanks a bunch wt!
I remember my father burning all my mothers books and literature in a big bon fire. But Jehober miraculously caused them to reappear in our house a couple of months latter.
Haa haa bet that cost your mom a couple hundred bucks in "donations".
