Please welcome my buddy

by sass_my_frass 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  sass_my_frass

  Hey, just hoping I can encourage my friend (a long-time lurker) in some way during a difficult time. I'm trying to help my (anonymous, genderless, of mysterious location...) friend appreciate the joy of being true to yourself and thus discovering many kinds of freedom.

  It's a rough time, more so for some than others. I had it pretty easy I think, during my disfellowshipping, as I had a lot else going on in my life and all of that was just background noise. I'd also come a long way and decided to make a go of life. It's paid off in more ways that I can put words to, but I'll try...

  - love
  - intellectual freedom
  - time!
  - no more cognitive dissonance
  - true friends
  - exploring my interests
  - planning a future I'm actually going to live

  Okay my friend, you will probably see right through my agenda, which I suppose is to get as many loved ones out of the cult as in is my power, but to be honest it's worked for me and that's all I'm going on - I was unhappy then, I'm happy now. Pretty simple formula really. So applying it is the hard part, and I hope that you can make the 'fade' work for as long as you need to, but if it ever comes crashing down around you, I hope the pain passes quickly and you get the payoff that I did.

  So everybody, your turn... how has your life improved, on the outside?
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  montana96

  It has taken time and continues to but I have never felt such peace and less stressed these last few months.My husband and I were just talking about how we could have stayed in as long as we did(all our family are in thats why).

  We are still the same people, much happier because we have more time to spend with each other and the kids. We have made some really nice friends and we are just happy to enjoy life one day at a time. All the best

  Mercedes x
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  freedomlover

  dear mysterious friend/lurker - I am newly "out" of the organization. It was very difficult and sometimes continues to be difficult. I'm losing my family members and friends that I dearly love. The price can be high at times. However, the enormous weight or guilt and fear is GONE. My life feels more honest and true than it ever has. I have more self integrity now because I have been true to myself for once in my life. My husband and I were literally at the end of our marriage and now things are better than they've ever been in 10 years of marriage. Why? because it's the first time we've been allowed to be totally honest with eachother. I have discovered so many layers to myself that I never even knew were there. I have so much more appreciation for things in this life because I'm not living for another life, that is supposed to occur down the road in the future. I have discovered that people, regardless of whether they are a JW or not have so much to offer. I have become much less judgemental of people and what they choose to do in their lives. I have been given the gift of never having to choose my religion or my love for family and friends. that is not humane to do to people. leaving is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but it's truly the best choice for me. I hope you can find something here that will help you regardless of whatever decision you make. -freedomlover
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  reneeisorym

  It was hard on me as well because I lost my whole family. I was a 5th generation witness! My parents (I am an only child), grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and long time friends in the congregation from childhood. I knew it was coming so I began to make "worldly friends" and that really helped me a lot. When I did get disfellowshipped (which I told them to go ahead and DA me ..) I had friends outside of the cult that proved to be more of a friend than any witness ever was. I was fortunate enough to have a distant cousin who is an apostate who was our PO at one time. He has helped me tremendously and showed me what real Christian brotherly love is about. It was sad though that I had surgery Friday and none of my family came to visit me or see that I was okay afterwards.

  So, what have I gained now that I am out?

  • I had always wanted to have freedom which I tried to get through rebellion but I have learned that freedom in Christ was what I was really looking for.
  • Time!
  • A desire to go to church to actually worship God and not just to hear lectures.
  • No more guilt
  • Joy of helping others with their relationship with God which is amazing since I never was able to convert anyone as a JW knocking on doors but having not knocked on a single door, I have been able to help many. (2 of whom I helped get out of JWs)
  • Inner peace
• 

  reneeisorym

  It was hard on me as well because I lost my whole family. I was a 5th generation witness! My parents (I am an only child), grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and long time friends in the congregation from childhood. I knew it was coming so I began to make "worldly friends" and that really helped me a lot. When I did get disfellowshipped (which I told them to go ahead and DA me ..) I had friends outside of the cult that proved to be more of a friend than any witness ever was. I was fortunate enough to have a distant cousin who is an apostate who was our PO at one time. He has helped me tremendously and showed me what real Christian brotherly love is about. It was sad though that I had surgery Friday and none of my family came to visit me or see that I was okay afterwards.

  So, what have I gained now that I am out?

  • I had always wanted to have freedom which I tried to get through rebellion but I have learned that freedom in Christ was what I was really looking for.
  • Time!
  • A desire to go to church to actually worship God and not just to hear lectures.
  • No more guilt
  • Joy of helping others with their relationship with God which is amazing since I never was able to convert anyone as a JW knocking on doors but having not knocked on a single door, I have been able to help many. (2 of whom I helped get out of JWs)
  • Inner peace
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  greendawn

  If you get to know the truth the truth will free you, the idea is to detect all the subtle and not so subtle WTS lies and see them for what they are.