I taught my kids too well! Help!

Piglet

My story. A JW since 1991, I struggled against various "issues" to remain a faithful, steadfast and reliable brother. A marriage break up due to standing up for "the truth", left me separated from my young daughter. Her mother moving 150 miles away to try to stop me influencing my child. I remarried and three more wonderful children. My new wife, obviously a JW, has serious health issues and slowly started missing meetings more and more. I, of course, struggled on bringing the first two children aged 13 and 11 now, along to the meetings, conventions etc etc etc, on my own. Instilling in them what I thought was right. Oh how I am paying for it now, and need advice please! I had doubts in later years, and finally, last year, after much hassle and discussion with others, made a unintentional fade. Unintentional in that I was ready to walk straight out of this cult whatever the consequences. Somehow, people, including elders have let me "fade" without complete shunning from some family members, and, oh yeah, JWs that I employ. I didn't beat about the bush with what I thought either. I gave it all to them. I was advised by the COBE that I was going down a dangerous route, meaning DFing or shunning etc, it didn't initially shut me up, but as the weeks went on I calmed down and quite need down a bit so as not to lose my employees. (Some family were, and still are, shunning me by this point).anyway, haven't had anything to do with that nonsense for a year now and it's great. My only issue is trying to get my wife, who doesn't I attend meetings at all now because of her health, and my children, see things how I know them to be true. That this religion is a dangerous life spoiling cult!!! This Sparlock thing has made me speak to my kids, as my wife still has access to literature. They get upset as I'm an apostate and I'm being mislead by Satan and am trying to lead them away from "the truth"! How do I deal with this? It hurts me to think that their lives are going to be ruined through my loyalty and obedience to the Borg!! HELP PLEASE. obviously this is my first post.

Lozhasleft

Hello Piglet and welcome to the forum. It's great that you've found out the truth about the truth. I understand your predicament, most of my adult kids are still trapped in the WTBS too. There are no easy solutions but I'm sure members here will join in and give you some wise pointers, there are some fine people here with much experience and lots of support for you.

Loz x

AnneB

Wait it out. Your children are just about to hit the age where they won't want to be told what to do or how to think; they all go through it, JW or not. Let it take its course as far as The Truth is concerned and they'll be disinterested in no time! After that, it's just a matter of circumstance; if they are reined in by JW relatives the exit may take longer, but it will come. Note: even if they stay "in" for their own reasons, they won't live the way a JW is supposed to live, think, and act.

Wait and see. You won't be disappointed.

AnneB (who never thought she'd see the day when her JW offspring didn't live up to their training....)

Quandry

Welcome to the forum.

Please be patient with the family. Allow your children to talk to you about anything, and just listen. You don't have to convince them of anything today. Just take them interesting places and be a good dad for now.

Piglet

Wow! Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your thoughts and comments! I guess it's all still a bit confusing after twenty years of mind control. My family is obviously the most important thing to me and you just want to do right by your kids don't you. It's good to get this out there on this forum. Thanks again.

Piglet

Oh, I forgot to say that my relationship with my firstborn, the one that moved away, is really good. We are very close

SeekingTheRealTruth

Pray about it and be patient. We all understand the frustration of having family members not open their eyes. I will pray for you and your family.

jgnat

I hear you, brother. As others have noted, your children are coming of age where they start to break away from their parents and build their own belief system. Above all, you must honor that freedom. I like the story on the www.freeminds.org site, for it's balance and success rate. Take what you can from that story, even if the "cat is out of the bag" as far as what you believe.

Even so, don't let your children dismiss you or disrespect you in any way. Allow yourself the dignity of fatherhood.

Excerpted from that article,

"So, I took time to assess how I could get information to them so they could make their own choice. These are the basic principles I decided to employ and stick with no matter what:

1. I would get information to them to make a choice before I was ready to formally leave.

2. I would respect their personal choice even if they chose to shun me.

3. I would offer and give unconditional love to all of them no matter the consequences.

4. I would be there for them all if they left Jehovah’s Witnesses to help with the healing process.

5. I would be there for them even if they remained Jehovah’s Witnesses, so that they would always have me to rely on."

Ding

Welcome!

My advice would be to go slowly.

Some JWs who start seeing the flaws in the organization and its teachings try to show everything to their family all at once and it overwhelms them.

Black Sheep

Welcome to our nightmare, Piglet.

Teach your kids critical thinking skills. Advice to wait until they 'grow out of it' is very naive and doesn't take into account the power of the programming the kids have been subjected to by you and the bOrg.

Your kids need to know when they are being scammed, or lied to, by anybody, including you and your wife. They need to be able to work out, for themselves, that they were raised in a cult. You can't tell them that because you are Satan's minion and they will not only not believe you, but will drive them deeper into the cult, chanting "Get behind me Satan!" to themselves.

Start here...

I taught my kids too well! Help!

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