How Good is Marriage for Your Mental Health?

by Gretchen956 41 Replies latest members private

  • Gretchen956
    Gretchen956

    This is from the April 2004 issue of Discover Magazine:

    Brides, Beware!

    How good is marriage for your mental health? What about the benefits of simply living together? The answers depend on whether you're the woman or the man, says Michaela Benzeval of the University of London. She analyzed the results of a 10-year survey of nearly 5,000 people under the age of 65, one of the longest running studies on the psychological effects of coupling. Her results contradict some well-established beliefs.

    Women who remained in their first marriage, Benzeval found, were no happier than those who stayed single, although single women who experienced one or more subsequent splits were the least happy of all. Men in their first marriage showed a significant improvement in mood, but not as much as men who simply cohabitated with the same woman for a long time. The happiest were men who had settled down with a new partner after having had two or more major relationship splits.

    "We have longitudinal data, so we can look at the cumulative effects on health of different partnership histories," Benzeval says. She is now trying to sort out the unexpected findings. Men probably fare better after many relationships because they tend to have more money, she suggests, while women whose marriages have dissolved often have to cope with the added responsibility of raising children." -Jocelyn Selim

    .............comments?

    Sherry

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    Its pretty well known (or common sense for us women) that marriage benefits the man more than the woman. I also heard that marriage takes 2 years average off a womans life where it adds to a mans. I bet that will change more as we as a society move towards encouraging more egalitarian relationships.

    People here know I am pretty anti-marriage in general, although I myself am getting married in September, 2005. I think its why one congradulates the man on his upcomming marriage, and wishes the woman "good luck". :)

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    I would also like to add that I have been cohabiting with my partner for going on 2 years now. And never would I even just marry someone that I had never lived with, I really and truly think that is an important step before marriage (if marriage is even nessassary), putting "morality" religious teachings aside.

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    Oh crap one more thing and I will shut up.

    Before anyone quotes that bogus statistic that "shows" that people who live together have a higher divorce rate...I would like to point out that I think people willing to live together first, are willing to leave a miserable relationship or an abusive one rather than staying with a horrid partner...before those that are the virgin-till-marriage types or who do not live together first.

    carry on.

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    I am curious how one measures someone to be more or less happy than someone else? Do we have a joy stick somewhere I was unaware of...because I think I might be a quart low.

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz

    lol at Jo, yes they do as a matter of fact. To measure your level of happiness all you have to do is go to your local Denny's resturant, stick you finger on one of those measuring machine pads and it will tell you how happy you are and how you rank among normal people.

    <-------- is not married, and is pretty damn happy

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Although still trying to deal emotionally with a nasty divorce after 14 years together, I must say that I am more healthy. I no longer suffer from constant stomach acid--that cleared up the week we split. I have only had one migraine in a year's time. I look better too (everybody who has seen me since the divorce says so anyway). I also have more energy and less anxiety. Before I was always tiptoeing around him and his moods. I doubt seriously if I will ever marry again. IMO, the man does get more out of the marriage than the woman does.

    Robyn

  • gypsywildone
    gypsywildone

    Now I am sitting here trying to figure out which one of us gets more benefit out of being married, myself or my husband

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    Although men have a lot of pressures they generally fare better out of marrige and divorce. They can leave there stresses at the door when they come home at night where a woman has a lot more on going responsibilities. Biggest thing I hated about being married was holidays, my ex would have a great time where my duties contunued, I was just in a different location.

    He still fares better, has the kids every other weekend, but appart from that now lives as a single guy, goes out all the time with mates etc. He even moved back in with his parents so his mum now does all his housework. His stress levels are definately lower than mine.

    Oh and also how come whae a wife goes away for a few days and leaves the kids at home every wonam in the district thinks she's got to look after him and the kids, whereas when the husband goes away she gets no additional help.

    Thabks fot this post gretchen, makes me feel a lot better about being a single mum.

  • gumby
    gumby

    Sooooooooo. Hows come the woman is more miserable (less happy)....than the dude? Are we saying this because the man overpowers her, takes advantage of her, works around the house less than her, is more touchy than she is so that she walks on eggshells all the time? What's the reason?

    *kicks self in the ass for being a dirty ol' husband*

    Gumby

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit