I'm sending in my DA letter

misanthropic

June 6, 2007

To whom it may concern,

My name is XXXXXXX XXXXXXX. I am the daughter of XXXXX and XXXXXX XXXXXXX. I was born and raised in XXXXXXXX as one of Jehovah's Witnesses along with my four siblings. Although I haven't been to a Kingdom Hall or attended any Witness function since 2000, I have not formally disassociated myself from being part of your group.
I am writing now to do so.

While not all of my life experiences with the Witnesses have been negative, the positive have been few and far between. Most if not all of the destructive forces and periods of turmoil in my life have stemmed from my association with the Watchtower and its shadow cast over life itself.

I could go through the endless list of reasons of why I have chosen to leave the Witnesses, but the fundamental problems are undeniably obvious and so commonplace that it borders on being academic in 2007, even cliché. A quick Googling would basically sum it up, just change the names, locations and dates (well, a few “dates” mentioned will probably apply).

Besides the issue at the heart of the matter isn't really why I left, it is why would I stay. What is offered that isn't so fragile that it crumbles the moment you honestly reach for something to hold on to? What's really there? For me, the only legitimate answer to this question is pure and simple: Staying would / did please my parents. Right on schedule baptism would / did please my parents. Reciting back what was recited to me would / did please my parents. Continuing as a Witness would only serve to satisfy their learned and reinforced conditional love and acceptance – another historically and unfortunately fragile thing indeed. This is not reason enough to stay. It troubles me to think that it was this and only this that kept me there, physically and to a larger extent mentally, for so many wasted years – so many missed opportunities. Accepting and admitting this is all that separates me from undoubtedly countless others.

This realization really solidifies my belief that the encouraged “mindset” and practice is: It isn't about how you feel or think, it is about what you show, what people can see. A terrible way to live. I can't imagine who would want allegiance like that. Based on fear of rejection and rooted in denial of your own growth, discovery and progression.

I imagine that this gist of this letter will eventually trickle down to old friends and members of my family that are still involved in the Watchtower. It is not my intention to mock or slander them, trivialize their beliefs or hurt them in anyway. I never rejected them. I never expected them to think as I do, or to even question what they have chosen for their lives – since it is their life just as mine is my own. Looking at this from where I am now it seems silly that these differences in opinion, because that really is all that they are, could divide a family so effectively. It is utterly ridiculous that these issues manage to transform some members of a family into the “us” and other family members into the “them”. Parents, children, grandparents, grandchildren, broken apart, bridges burning – so shameful. This is incredibly tragic and I know will be eventually regrettable for those who have chosen to draw this line or in reality, allowed the line to be drawn for them. Drawn, erased, redrawn, color changed, moved, redrawn, erased, moved back, drawn again, etc.

In closing, I would like to answer a question that I had been asked by a Witness that I once shared my concerns with. I didn’t have an answer at the time, but I do now.

They asked me “... Where will you go now? What will you do?”

The answer is clear. I am already here, and I am doing it everyday.

For anyone who has read this letter and given consideration to my words, I thank you.

Sincerely,

XXXXXXX X XXXXXXX

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read it. I've been needing to do this for quite some time now.

theinfamousone

good for you!!!! i am yet to do it, and fear of losing my little sister is the only reason i have not yet... i hope you realize in your heart, as you most obviously do, that you are doing what is right!

the infamous one

Bumble Bee

They asked me “... Where will you go now? What will you do?”

The answer is clear. I am already here, and I am doing it everyday.

Excellent closing!

(((((misa))))

BB

Narkissos

Superb.

Quandry

If you feel that you must, then you must. I do not understand this statement:

A quick Googling would basically sum it up, just change the names, locations and dates (well, a few “dates” mentioned will probably apply).

What do you mean just change the names, locations and dates?

How will your family react? Is this better for you than a fade?

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

nvrgnbk

Good for you!

Well written Misa!

Proud of you for taking this stand!

What-A-Coincidence

Beautifully written!

misanthropic

good for you!!!! i am yet to do it, and fear of losing my little sister is the only reason i have not yet... i hope you realize in your heart, as you most obviously do, that you are doing what is right!
the infamous one

Thank you, yes I am doing it because I feel that it is the right thing for me to do. I've thought about it for awhile now- it was just a matter of actually doing it.

If you feel that you must, then you must. I do not understand this statement:
A quick Googling would basically sum it up, just change the names, locations and dates (well, a few “dates” mentioned will probably apply).
What do you mean just change the names, locations and dates?
How will your family react? Is this better for you than a fade?
I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

I was trying to point out that most of us who have left / are leaving have a lot of the same reasons for doing so, having very similar experiences in helping us realize it's not "the truth". The other part was just a comment about their dates being wrong- they'll either get it or they won't.
I don't know how my family will react, but I only have limited contact with my younger brother and sister at this point anyway. The others treat me as if I were DF'd long ago as it is. I decided it was time for me to get "off the fence".

Thank you B.B, Narkissos, Nvr & WAC

Sassy

Hopefully this brings you what you need for closure with them. Iv'e thought about writing one from time to time. I have chosen not to.. because for me, it is of benefit to them to help them 'clean house'.. since I no longer care about them.. I don't bother letting them know anything..

but I respect anyone who feels the need to do so

sweet pea

Beautiful, from the heart and true to yourself. I hope it makes some of them think. All the best in your new journey, free at last.

I'm sending in my DA letter

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