Advice badly needed: Just how bad is baptism?

Open mind

Had a little conversation with my 10-12 yr old son the other day about the "B" word.

You know........................, baptism.

I think I've done a pretty good job at inoculating all my kids against getting baptized before they're adults and even my 98% dub-loyal wife is pretty much on board as well.

Anyway, my son made a thought-provoking comment when we were alone that went something like this:

"Dad, I know that people will give me more & more pressure to get baptized the older I get. And I can see myself waiting until I'm 18. But, don't you think it would be a little weird to be, say, 25 yrs old and still not be baptized? I just can't see that happening."

Open Mind was caught flat-footed yet again. Doh!!! I don't really remember my reply, but it wasn't anything worth recalling here. Something mamby-pamby and non-committal at best.

Anyway, that just sets the stage for a little more rambling here.

As an active JW (but mentally out of the Borg), with a loyal-dub wife, my kids are totally in a Catch-22 aren't they? If they don't get baptized eventually, they're going to be ostracized at least somewhat by our huge extended family that are dubs and big time by the dubs in general.
So what's a dub kid to do?

I can't believe I'm actually typing these poisonous words, but, here goes.............

Would it make sense for my kids to eventually get baptized?

I'm vehemently opposed to it right now, but what about when they turn 18? I could see them doing it in order to not be hassled while they're attending college and going through whatever dub motions they feel like doing. Maybe it will take 2 or 3 generations of this insanity before my offspring will truly break free.

I don't think I've ever felt the enormity of just how big and black the hole me and my kids are sitting in until just now. Especially if my wife never sees the light. What an unfair, fu**e'd up web I've helped weave them into.

Thoughts? Suggestions? B-Slaps? Baptism Slaps, that is. That's all the humor I can muster right now, and that's not a good sign.

Open Mind

OUTLAW

OpenMind..If a child cannot enter into a legal contract in the real world..What makes it any different with religion?..By the time your kids are old enough to enter into a contract.They may not even give getting Baptised as a Jehovah`s Witness a second thought...OUTLAW

OnTheWayOut

You asked for it. Here's my opinion.

Put a rubberband around your head and "snap out of it."
Of course they should NOT be baptized, ever.

If they make it to adulthood, encourage them to fade as unbaptized publishers or
just walk away. Why delay the problem. Family is not obligated to shun them,
and you won't shun them. Start setting some goals for yourself to start on the
road to freedom. Even babysteps will eventually get you to the door.

If you know it's wrong, but you have circumstances, why would you encourage
someone else to enter it?

R.Crusoe

If your kid is a guaranteed life member then go ahead, but if there's a slim chance he'll fall away then don't do it. He'll lose lifetime friends to the image he'll have given himself as a baptised reject, whereas an unbaptised one will get more leniency and a gentler fall shoiuld they ever leave.

Sounds contrived, but hey there's nothing more contrived than JWs slagging off your religion then when you convert to theirs don't ask questions! How is that equal?

At the end of the day do it your own way - and him his, but make him aware of the pitfalls coz thy're no stroll in the park and often last a lifetime!

Why run when you can walk? 1975's overwith!

PEC

If I said what I am thinking, I would be violating the posting guidelines.

BFD

I got baptised when I was 13 or 14 for all the wrong reasons. I did not know that it would lead to being shunned by my mom. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. One of my brothers and one of my sisters got baptised as well. All who were baptised are now shunned because "we turned our back on Jehovah."

My other brother and sister do not attend meetings and did not fall for the crap and guess what, mommy dearest does not shun them. Go figure! holy sheep

BFD

Edited: We were all raised as JWs by mom but our dad never followed.

Quandry

If your children are young now, who can say how they will feel when they become eighteen? Please take a deep breath and handle this later. In the ensuing years, you can help them to set worthwhile educational goals and get them involved in worthwhile projects, and do things together as a family. Especially on weekends.

You have several years to slowly wean the family away from the clutches of "the borg."

Slow but sure wins the race.

purplesofa

How old was Jesus when he was baptised?

What was good enough for him......good enough for my kids

none are 30 YET.......and have no interest in getting baptised, but at one time some of them did. ( I got alot of kids)

purps

Open mind

OTWO:

Put a rubberband around your head and "snap out of it."
Of course they should NOT be baptized, ever.

Thanks. I needed that. (That was some commercial from the 70's wasn't it?)

If you know it's wrong, but you have circumstances, why would you encourage
someone else to enter it?

If I gave the impression that I would encourage it, I apologize. I would never encourage it. Just want to be able to provide convincing persuasion to help overcome the Catch-22 scenario I painted in my OP. The best I can think up right now is: "If you ever decide in a few years that being a JW just isn't right for you, do you want to have the freedom to be able to make that choice without having your dub familiy be forced to shun you?" BTW, I've let them all know that I could never shun them. But I can't make the same promise for my wife.

PEC:

If I said what I am thinking, I would be violating the posting guidelines.

Go ahead & PM me. I think I need a good obscene a$$ kicking right now.

BFD:

My other brother and sister do not attend meetings and did not fall for the crap and guess what, mommy dearest does not shun them. Go figure!

Thank you. I'll reword your quote into a "I knew a certain brother that.............." when the time is right again.

Here's a related thought that I was going to make a separate thread, but I think I'll just throw it in here. It's just another way of phrasing my original post.

HOW BAD WOULD IT BE FOR MY KIDS TO BE "JACK JWs?"

You've heard of Jack Mormon's right? Someone who's just going through the motions for the social/monetary rewards.

I guess if they ever do cave in and get dunked, then I'll be pushing for them to be Jack JWs or Liberal (spiritually weak) JWs.

Sick. I know. Much better to live a truly free life. But, in looking around the area we live, I see plenty of young adults I would classify as Jack JWs.

I'm talking in circles, I know.

I'd love to hear any other perspectives out there as well.

Open (irrational today) Mind

Mary

Dad, I know that people will give me more & more pressure to get baptized the older I get. And I can see myself waiting until I'm 18. But, don't you think it would be a little weird to be, say, 25 yrs old and still not be baptized?

Point out to your son that Jesus was 30 before he got baptized and that the WTS letting people get baptized as young as 9 or 10 years old, is no different than "infant" baptism that other churches practice that the Society condemns.

You want my opinion? Do whatever you can to get those kids out of that f***ing religion. If they get baptized and become full fledged drones, they could easily shun you one day, as this cult teaches people to do. Start talking to your son now about what he wants to do when he grows up, encourage him to THINK, and encourage him to go to university. You'll be saving your own relationship with him and you'll save him a lifetime of servitude to a group of power-hungry old men, and all the negative side effects that come with it.

You want an example? Here's one: Say your son gets baptized at 15, and married at 19 or 20 to a fellow Witness. They have a couple of kids and start raising them as Witnesses. One of them, when they're 5 years old, is in an accident or has a disease that requires a blood transfusion. Your son and wife refuse, because of the religion. Your grandchild dies as a result. You see what I'm saying? There are so many repercussions to knowing this isn't "the Truth" and having your kids still in it. I don't care how big the "extended family" is----he's your son and your responsibility. Good luck.

Advice badly needed: Just how bad is baptism?

Share this