laylaluv
JoinedI am the fourth child out of six children raised as a JW in my family. I was disfellowshipped in 1999 after refusing to meet with the elders due to complications related to stress during my pregnancy with my daughter. I was an active JW(with alot of doubts) until 1997 when my wittness husband of six years left me and our two sons. He told me he didn't want to be married anymore. But, of course he told his elder father and pioneer mother that I had cheated on him. This, of course led to judical meetings. They did not disfellowship me or him. They just gave us "counsel". After my x-husband left, I went through a period of extreme financial hardship. The elders never called me or stopped by to see how I was doing. During this period, I had stopped going to the meetings as well. (The only reason I went in the first place was to please everyone else). I had my doubts about the "truth" early on when I was molested at a young age by a Ministerial Servant. What made this time in my life even worse was my parents were against me as well. The reason being, I went and found my little sister who was 16 at the time. She ran away from home because of the rigidness and abuse. I brought her to my home one week before my x-husband left. I saw how "Jehovah's people" treated me. Not only my parents but the "loving congregation" as well. I was all alone, just me, my two sons, and my little sister. I think what gave me strength at the time was that I had been secretly seeing a Therapist due to severe depression and a good intuition. My Therapist helped me realize that I needed to take care of me. She also was extremely familiar with the JW's. She new exactly how the organization operated. She told me that at least half of her patient's were JW's feeling the same way I did; Confused, upset, guilty. This gave me courage. I new I was not alone in my feelings towards what I had been taught all my life. I was scared as well. Scared of losing my entire family if I left the "truth". This did not happen at this time. It happened later in my life when I had already been unactive and divorced for a couple of years. I met someone and became pregnant with my daughter. I had not heard from the elders or anyone in the congregation until I was about 7 months pregnant. The elders showed up at my work the day I had been to the doctor and the doctor told me bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy due to stress related complications. I told the elders I could not meet with them any time soon due to my complications. I did not want to jepordize my daughter's life. The elders showed up at my door a couple of days later waking me up out of my bed only to tell me that they were going to DF me the following Thursday. I calmly told them that if that is how this religion was I did not want to be a part of it anymore. I am proud that through all the years of programming that I am finally set free from oppressive thinking and mind bondage. I am happy with my decisions in life and I am happy that I know that I don't have to be perfect to please a false organization. I am also very pleased with myself that I am raising all three of my children to be free minded and to have their own personalities and opions. I am raising them to be NORMAL human beings.