"That which can be asserted without evidence, can
be dismissed without evidence."
- Christopher Hitchens
"
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is." -- Winston Churchill "
the great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -deliberate, contrived, dishonest-but the myth-persistent, persuasive and unrealistic." -Crisis of Conscience
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I am new to JWN as a member but have been accessing this site for well over a year. I want to introduce myself and explain my background.
I am fourth generation JW. I have known no other way of life. I was as "in" as a person can be. My family history is that of pioneers, special pioneers, Elders, Circuit Overseers and District Overseers. We were of the "privileged"class in the Organization; as a teenager I personally met Organizational "heavy hitters", men like Fred Franz, because I ran with the "in crowd". I've worked in field service and had meals with members of the Governing Body. I've given talks at conventions, Sunday public talks in the congregation, been interviewed at conventions, held up as a model JW. I say this not to brag, but to substantiate that I know what I am talking about when it comes to anything "Organizational". So, whatever I say in future posts comes from someone who's lived it, seen it and experienced it from the inside out. I am not disfellowshipped or disassociated- I am a successful fader, an "escapee" if you will; I crawled under the prison wall in the middle of the night and the guards haven't noticed yet that my cell is empty! (thank god for the apathy of Elders- in this case, it worked out pretty well).
Why am I here now?
Three years ago, a series of events unfolded, a "perfect storm" if you will, that rocked my world and forever changed my view of the self-proclaimed "God's sole channel of communication on earth", the WT Society.
I've seen the politics and nepotism, injustice and blatant disregard of Bible principles by Elders, but I fully bought into the idea (as it was drummed into me from childhood) that this is how things work, God will take care of it. "Wait on Jehovah" was the repeated mantra. The trouble was, 'god' never took care of anything!! That really bothered me, how men supposedly appointed by god could completely disregard His word, usually while crushing an innocent person, and god seemingly was okay with it. These were his 'representatives', so we (the "rank-and-file") just have to take it.
My real awakening happened when I personally saw the Elders for what they are- not men appointed by God's Spirit- but men who are selfish, petty, cruel, power-mad, and who will ignore the Bible completely to protect their friends and their own positions. They lacked any semblance of "spiritually mature" men and were most assuredly not Christ-like. (I speak generally- I acknowledge there are genuinely good men who serve as Elders. Unfortunately, they are the minority and have little, if any, real influence in organizational matters). I am not faulting men for being human or making mistakes- I've made plenty of mistakes myself. What I am talking about here is a systemic problem, a cancer, in the Organization, established from its beginning on a foundation of hubris, hypocrisy and self-delusion. I am talking about willful disregard for what is right, from the top down, with the intent of maintaining the Grand Illusion that is WT. Once I wrapped my mind around the idea that Elders are not appointed by God's Holy Spirit, then it was only logical to go one step further and conclude that the men who approved their appointments, The Governing Body (GB), also were not influenced by God's Spirit. If the GB were not influenced by God's Spirit, then their doctrines were equally suspect of being flawed. If they are in fact flawed, then they are open to scrutiny. I set out on a journey to find the truth, wherever it led me, and, no matter how uncomfortable the evidence may be, I was no longer willing to accept beliefs that had no basis in reality and could not be supported with conclusive evidence.
Then it happened: I looked at an "apostate" website! I do not recall what I was searching for, but I was looking for the answer to a specific question. An Internet search brought me to JWFacts.com. Thank you Paul Grundy! I am forever in gratitude to you. What impressed me was, not only the well-researched information, but the fact that Paul opened himself to scrutiny by welcoming any corrections if he had presented anything that was in error. This was in polar opposition to the WT's methods! I grew up in an environment that established the WT as the supreme authority, beyond scrutiny. No questioning was allowed- you believe it because WT says it, and to question WT is to question god. If something was wrong, shut up and "wait on Jehovah". Critical thinking has no place in the Org. But here was an "apostate", villified by WT as a tool of Satan, openly inviting scrutiny because he desired to be truthful! Additionally, not only was secular source material clearly provided so I could verify the claims (again, WT almost never provides source material to substantiate its claims) but, horror of horrors, Paul quoted copiously from the Watchtower's own publications to establish their doctrines, history and policies to solidify the veracity of his claims!
Despite being a JW my entire life, I quickly realized how woefully ignorant I was of my religion's dark past, changed doctrines, flawed theology, willful deception, outright lies and tyrannical approach of being "masters" over the faith and conscience of millions of JWs.
I learned that doctrines the WT claimed were "proof" that this was "God's Organization", unique to them, were nothing more than plagarized, relabelled counterfeits of the equally flawed originals. For example, from childhood I had been taught that the 2,520 year "Gentile Times" concept proving 1914 as the beginning of the Last Days was Russell's invention, establishing him as god's "faithful slave" privy to knowledge ("New Light") hidden from the vile false religion of his contemporaries. How shocked I was to learn that that entire concept was invented, not by Russell, but by J.A. Brown, borrowed by The Adventists, and adopted by Russell! Furthermore, Russell did not teach that 1914 was the beginning of the" last days"- he believed 1799 was the beginning of the last days, that Jesus began His rule in 1874, not 1914, and that 1914 was the end- Armageddon ! I have an extensive library of older WT publications, and have verified all this information for myself. I had been lied to by WT my entire life! So, if the core doctrine of the 607 BCE-1914 CE "Gentile Times" (based on the erroneous teaching that Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 BCE) was not true, then the WT's claim that they are directed by God cannot be true and they certainly were not "appointed" by Christ in 1919 as they arrogantly claim ( 1914 is the WT's basis for establishing 1919 as the date of their appointment by Christ as the "faithful and discreet slave"). Incidentally, according to insight on the Scriptures, Russell did not accept the Adventist doctrine of Jesus' return in 1874 until 1876- so he did not fit the description of God's "faithful slave" either in light of the Gospels, which say the slave would be ready and watching for his Master's Return. The blind are truly leading the blind.
I was ignorant of all the false end time dates the WT has published, being familiar only with 1975, and I parroted the party line and blamed individual JWs for the false expectations of that year, not the WT ( I never actually did any research to see what WT said about 1975. I was a good little JW and did no critical thinking or fact-finding!) . To date, the WTS has a 100% failure rate regarding their end-time prophecies. This does not promote confidence!
Then, I did the unthinkable! I read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. I am old enough to remember the great Bethel "apostate" purging of circa 1980. Raymond Franz was the devil incarnate, a rebel against god and his chosen organization! Or so I had always believed. I had resolved that if Crisis of Conscience was nothing more than the rantings of an embittered, disenfranchised JW with an ax to grind, I would discard the book and move on. What I found was quite the contrary . Ray's arguments are flawless, his insider-view of the Organization devastating to WT theology, and his demeanor beyond criticism. After completing his book, I concluded that, if the WT organization was headed by men like Ray Franz, it would truly be a Christ-like arrangement, not the Pharisaical monopoly it is now, hijacked by self-aggrandizing depots and tyrannical spiritual thugs promoting a secular agenda masquerading as religion. I have since read In Search of Christian Freedom, equally as good as CoC.
The proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" was the absolutely absurd explanation of "overlapping generation" at the 2010 DC. I cannot tell you how livid I was when that lame-assed "overlapping" nonsense was doled out to us, as if we're such morons that this stale, rotten "food" should satisfy us as "new light"! I knew when that talk concluded the WT and the GB have no clue about when the end is coming. They are as lost as the rest of us while pretending to be god's mouthpiece. The 2012 DC was no better. The 'be loyal to "Mother" talk was not only a blatant misapplication of scripture but an outright spiritual coup of our loyalty. I kept track in my notes of how many times "organization", "governing body/slave", "Jehovah" and "Jesus" were mentioned in each talk and did a tally at the end of each day. It became obvious that the Governing Body have usurped Jesus' Mediatorship and the Organization and the GB are demanding our worship. "Jehovah" ranked third in importance, and "Jesus" came in dead last- if at all. Added to this is WT cherry-picking, misquoting source material, lying, flip-flopping doctrines, hopelessly flawed misinterpretation of Biblical texts, the increasing hatred the WT has for the world in general, and its own people in particular based on nothing more than legalism, the continual demand to do more, the "you're-not-good-enough" mentality in the Org. I had enough!
Now that I look back, I've had deeply supressed doubts most of my life. I could never accept how a loving god could kill good people at Armageddon just because they are not JWs, yet I was so harsh and judgmental of people who, although not JWs, were, frankly, doing better than me in some aspects of life, such as showing kindness to strangers, being charitable, unconditional love, etc. I couldn't understand how, if we have free will, our lives had to be in servitude to an Org., and our personal desires constantly shoved aside as unimportant; I never have liked field service, even when I Pioneered. I thought it was my duty, so I did it, but I couldn't understand why the most powerful person in the Universe used such an inefficient, time-consuming, life-wasting way to spread the message. Our days were spent calling at empty houses- yet people were going to be killed because they weren't home to hear our message when we called; I couldn't understand why we have to confess to Elders, then our hearts supposedly judged by men as flawed as us, for our mistakes- then to have such harsh, unloving, punitive judgments handed down to a person who truly felt bad for their mistake and only wanted a little help. I couldn't understand how god's organization could teach such absurd things in its history, when it alone was supposed to be guided exclusively by god as the only correct religion. I was told this is how god operates- he doesn't think we're capable of handling truth and facts, so he teaches us error until the time for truth presents itself.
So, that's my story. I wrote more than I intended but barely scratched the surface. I look forward to many interesting discussions on JWN. I'd like to thank some board members I've particulary enjoyed during the past year:
Cedars
Blondie
Leolaia
Billy The Ex Bethelite ( dude, you crack me up!)
