For me it's been a mix blessing, but I remember reading somewhere that shunning is the worst thing one person can do to another psychologically. In my case, my husband left the JWs at the same time as I did, he wanted to leave it sooner, but waited till I was ready. But to this day neither his nor my parents or part of our siblings have any thing to do with us, but other relatives (and one of my sisters left it as well) have filled in that gap.
I remember when I was a JW, I knew a woman who's daughter was disfellowship, and she came to me for advise. In her daughter's case, she wanted to leave her abusive husband, so she went the route of cheating on him to get her divorce. She asked me what I would do if it was me, and I told her this from how I feel about things personally. I told her, if you want your daughter back, don't shun her. By showing her you care about her, and still love her, she would want to return. She took my advise, and it did make her son very angry with her about this, but her daughter did return. And later I found out it was because her mom did not cut off all contact with her.
Yes I remember them saying that shunning is merciful, so that they see the errors of their ways and want to return to the fold. But for me it's the total opposite, shunning shows the victim that those who are doing that DO NOT care about them, or their well being. In my case, those who are shunning me, and this is why I say it's a mix blessing is because all those people who are shunning me, are very toxic people, who made both my husband and myself very miserable. They are the reason why my husband started up the nasty habit of smoking. But that part is a whole story for another time.