Posts by morrisamb

23

IF YOU HAVE EVER MADE AN IMPACT ON A JW

by In_between_days in

something i would really appreciate feedback for.... if any of you have ever made and impact on a jw what was it?

what was the one sentance, or one seed of doubt that made their brains start ticking?

were you sucessful?

morrisamb

Thanks Yadira for the kind words. I agree love will accomplish more words than "logic". And Boy Introspection, your name was well chosen!
Very interesting comments. Actually I think this thread and the comments it elicits are very complex in that there are millions of possible answers.
Just some random thoughts...While I think that those who leave the Witnesses need a sense of belonging -- well, they definitely need a strong peer support group, and if this board is the only peer group they have, this "family" is extremely important -- I think there is a danger identifying oneself as only an ex-Jehovah's Witness.
I for one say, Yeah, I used to be one. Next question, point, whatever. BECAUSE, it means squat to me. I refuse to let my identity be defined by one religious group. I am a human being, part of worldwide family of human beings that are blood brothers and sisters. As in any group I visit, I like some of you and some of you, we're just going to not hit it off. It doesn't make one of us better. We're just different and there's enough unity within those differences to tolerate each other.
I think that labels can be destructive.
And I think trying to change a Witness CAN BE destructive. It can also be abusive. But most important, it can invite abusive comments in return. Comments that are supposed to remind us how we of the Devil, unworthy, unrepentent. I say, "Whatever!"
I refuse to engage in such banter. I don't recognise their stamp of disproval.
Just some food for thought...

23

IF YOU HAVE EVER MADE AN IMPACT ON A JW

by In_between_days in

something i would really appreciate feedback for.... if any of you have ever made and impact on a jw what was it?

what was the one sentance, or one seed of doubt that made their brains start ticking?

were you sucessful?

morrisamb

Thanks for asking. I don't discount others' experiences by being honest about where I'm at.
Well, my experience is unusual in this sense. By the time I left, every member of my immediate family except for my mother had been disfellowshipped or disassociated for several years. I was the last of 4 siblings to leave. It was I who didn't have anything to do with them for a time and humbly asked their forgiveness for having shunned them. After some growing pains, forgiveness and so on, you wouldn't believe how close we all are today. That is a miracle, let me tell you!
Here's another shocker, we are all close to our Mother who is still a Witness. Yes she has received flak occasionally for seeing us ...on the other hand many Witnesses have supported her decision to do so. I would say probably those who think she shouldn't speak to us mark her in some way but she wouldn't let them say one word to her about this anymore. She regrets the years she shunned her other 3 children and I helped her see that light.
She loves her God and all 4 of us accept that fact. We NEVER discuss her faith or our lack of it and that's how we get along. In fact, she's been sick for years with Chronic Fatigue Syndrom so she doesn't get to meetings..they visit her and bring her the tapes. When she first told me she wasn't going to go because she was sick, I warned her many Witnesses will give her a hard time. I was right but they soon learned to keep their mouth shut around my mother. (I take right after her, or is it she takes after me?!) I have told her, when you feel better, I'll drive you to the meetings and pick you up after. This faith makes her happy; it didn't me. I can live with that.
Don't think that I don't think I was brainwashed. I know I was. I've just seen so much shit happen to people in and out of many different kind of faiths, I choose not to focus on the Witnesses.

23

IF YOU HAVE EVER MADE AN IMPACT ON A JW

by In_between_days in

something i would really appreciate feedback for.... if any of you have ever made and impact on a jw what was it?

what was the one sentance, or one seed of doubt that made their brains start ticking?

were you sucessful?

morrisamb

This might surprise you, but in 18 years of not being a Witness, I know I have had an impact by not saying something to them. They have to talk to me first and then I will. I also never try to convince a Witness not to be one, just like I don't try to change a Baptist, a Catholic, born-agains, a Bhuddist, etc. I'm not in the change-your-faith business.
I just don't get this focus on changing Witnesses. My father has made a career out of his hatred for Witnesses. What a waste of a life. I should add that his "career" was interspersed with his abuse of 5 wives and several children.
I focus on people, WHO THEY ARE TODAY, not what they once were and certainly not what I think they should be.

75

PLH's TORONTO PICS-PAGE 4

by Pierced Angel in

jw
friends

what a blast!.

it was sooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooood to be there.

anyone who was there that wouldn't mind having pix posted, let me know so i can post some more.

morrisamb

As my Witness Mother would say, "They look like such nice people."
And I must add, "Ahh Second Cup in Toronto...I can just smell the coffee!"

129

MANDATORY Reporting of Child Abuse

by silentlambs in

it appears there are a few misconceptions when it comes to the reporting of child abuse.

the federal law child abuse prevention and treatment act (capta)(jan. 1996 version), 42 u.s.c.

failure to report can result in civil liability.

morrisamb

Silent Lambs is getting some help AND Dateline isn't the only media who will focus on the Witnesses and Sexual Abuse! The Gay & Lesbian World Review is working on an ISSUE FOCUSING On Sexual Abuse and the church. A month ago, they asked me to come up with an article on my experience as a Witness who was sexual abused. The editor of the Review has read my book and has taken a personal interest in my story. He will print excerpts from my book along with my article. It's about 4000 words long and their Review goes around the world, so this is wonderful exposure...here is just an excerpt of the article...

By Donald D'Haene

Two decades ago, I was among the first men to break the barrier of silence and come forward to speak openly about being sexually abused as a child. Since that time, more than a thousand victims have told me their individual stories. From them I have learned that, while each victim’s experience is unique, we are united as comrades in a battle by the common experience of abuse by an adult. After more than a decade of sexual abuse, my siblings and I finally came forward and told ministers, police, doctors, and therapists. And we took the perpetrator, our father, to court. How this journey of revelation and recovery unfolded is a story that I have told in a memoir called Father’s Touch, which tells the story of my father’s physical and sexual abuse of me and my siblings, as well as my mother, and of my personal struggles with my faith and with my sexual orientation as we fought back against the abuse.

We were Jehovah’s Witnesses, and my father used our religion—its patriarchal structure and ideology—to manipulate and control the rest of the family. My father, Daniel D’Haene, was a man who lusted for power and craved complete control over those around him, especially his family, and he used the theology of the Jehovah’s Witnesses to support this craving and to subject his children to years of abuse. Initially he instructed us that if we disobeyed him in any way, we would be disappointing God. Indeed, he assured us that his authority over us was God-given, a claim that did seem to be supported by our religion. All four of the children in my family—including my two brothers and one sister—were involved in the abuse over a period of thirteen years...
..... What’s more, The Game itself was defined as part of God’s plan for families—a secret game that every Christian father plays with his children. Why would we question our father’s authority when God had made him head of the household? If we loved God, wouldn’t we obey his servant’s wishes?

In the ensuing years, our father used his fanatical interpretations of church doctrines on male authority, discipline, and obedience to perpetuate his crimes.....
.....
[Besides the Memoir snippets, there are also two subheadings following the above edited introduction, under the titles:
The Witnesses and the D’Haenes
Why Victims Don't Tell.
You can just imagine the amount of exposure this will receive.]

13

Militant feminism in the Organization!!

by FreeFallin in

jw
friends

puffsrule post on women's place in the society prompted me to share this website with you.

this group's name is fathers for life...and what a strange little club it is.. i hope i get this right...forever.freeshell.org/actions/jw200111.htm .

maybe someone can make it clickable.. in this article they slam the october and november 2001 for being "too pro-woman," and go on to give many examples, including the one about battered wives.. .

morrisamb

I sent the original Fathers for Life writing to a non-Witness, but United Church Christian, and here is his reply...

Thanks for the message, but I'll be darned if I understand the concern. There always have been women with bigger testicles than many of us guys...but so what. There are some women and some men who appreciate that. From my perspective, I thank God the majority of women have plenty of estrogen.

Doesn't it just boil down to "different strokes for different folks"? And why not recognize that?

ATB

Trickie Dickie

13

Militant feminism in the Organization!!

by FreeFallin in

jw
friends

puffsrule post on women's place in the society prompted me to share this website with you.

this group's name is fathers for life...and what a strange little club it is.. i hope i get this right...forever.freeshell.org/actions/jw200111.htm .

maybe someone can make it clickable.. in this article they slam the october and november 2001 for being "too pro-woman," and go on to give many examples, including the one about battered wives.. .

morrisamb

This guy gave me my laugh for the day! He's not a Jehovah's Witness but he's looking for things that he can blame feminists on in their religious material!!!
All I can say, "Get thee to a shrink!"

Thank god, I got to a therapist's office when I was young: age 20!!!!

The truth is the seeds of feminism were planted in my head when I was about four years old, watching the dynamics of my parents' marriage--not from ever reading Witness literature.

When I think of all the issues in the whole world that need attention and this guy is focusing on this...Give me a break!

6

What of a Child Molester?

by TR in

this has probably been posted before, but oh well.. http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1997/1/1/article_01.htm.

what of a child molester?.

what if a baptized adult christian sexually molests a child?

morrisamb

Dear Plmkrzy

Very good observation. I noticed the emphasis on the abuser but I just thought, okay, maybe this particular article just focused on the that angle.
This article doesn't make me angry because I used to be a Witness. Rather because of how obviously the person writing it is so not with the program. You and I would be treated worse for writing on this web site than a molester in their kingdom hall. Yikes.

If I was sitting in a house of God in any religion and I heard that read, I'm outta there.

6

What of a Child Molester?

by TR in

this has probably been posted before, but oh well.. http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1997/1/1/article_01.htm.

what of a child molester?.

what if a baptized adult christian sexually molests a child?

morrisamb

Thank you for posting this TR..I haven't read a Witness magazine since '84/85 and this is the first time I've read more than a title in all that time.

It infuriated me.

ie. If he seems to be repentant, he will be encouraged to make spiritual progress, share in the field service, even have parts in the Theocratic Ministry School and nonteaching parts in the Service Meeting.

My God are they still in the stone ages? How dare they allow a molester go door to door representing them when little children could answer the door. I'd say that the door to door work is the # one thing they should be banned from. But I wouldn't listen to a molester read a weather report, let alone give a "Bible" talk!

ie. It is not his status as an authority figure that should be of concern but, rather, the unblemished purity of the congregation.—

Say what? The molesters' status as an authority figure is what enables them to molest in the first place! As I have mentioned in other threads, my anger at the Elders who bungled our situation is tempered with the realization they were keystone cops masqerading as pseudo-therapists/enlightened leaders. This is frightening! Bill Bowen, don't give up in trying to educate these people!!!

ie. But a dedicated adult Christian who falls into the sin of child sexual abuse reveals an unnatural fleshly weakness.

The understatement of the century! They just don't get it. I believe they mean well, but they show a gross lack of understanding for the crime that sexual abuse is. If you reread this article's paragraphs and inserted the crime of murder/mass murder, do you think it would be written the same way. I doubt it. Molesting a child is tantamount to murdering a child's soul. Sometimes it takes a lifetime getting it back. Some never do.

129

MANDATORY Reporting of Child Abuse

by silentlambs in

it appears there are a few misconceptions when it comes to the reporting of child abuse.

the federal law child abuse prevention and treatment act (capta)(jan. 1996 version), 42 u.s.c.

failure to report can result in civil liability.

morrisamb

The first post of this thread was about reporting child abuse. Don't want to come across like some Mary Poppins jumping in on the fun...oh, what the heck, yes, I do!

Thought I'd share with you these two emails I received today from Belgium:

1. Hello,

I've read the articles on your web site and ...I personally think the issue of abuse can't get enough publicity. You know of don't know, but in Belgium we had a great case of paedophilia which brought Belgium in the spotlight (a very bad light!) from all over the world. In this case the media jumped on it, but that wasn't a bad thing. Since then the children became more aware of the fact that abuse isn't something natural and in the last few years we see more and more cases of paedophilia come out. Children tell their parents or other people about the fact that they have been sexually abused bij their teachers, principals, priests, etc... I don't think that twenty years ago this was the case. So in that perspective publicity about these cases is a positive thing for all the people who have been abused. Considered the media attention these cases usely get, I think your book could be a succes here in Belgium also. Best wishes,
Marnix

And, of course, timing is everything..

2. Dear Sir

We read about your book (internet). Do you know whether the book will be sold in Belgium?
- What about your parents? I supposeyour mother agrees withit? But your father, he is still alive? I think such a book could not be published in Belgium
- Do you have relatives (Bataille familiy?) in our region (Izegem, Ingelmunster) who know you and your familiy? Can we talk to them voor some comment?
- Last question: can you e-mail some pictures? Of you, your book?
We prepare an article anyway, perhaps for edition May 17.
Thanks.
Noël Maes, editor in chief
Krant van West-Vlaanderen
**********
I'll tell you, it's hard to believe everyone on the planet is practically talking about sexual abuse now. The times, they are a changing...