lisaBObeesa

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Posts by lisaBObeesa

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  29

  Raising Kids to be Cult Members!!!

  by lisaBObeesa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in another thread, there is a discussion about young people leaving the jws at a rate of something like 88%.

  we see the rules given to the sheep for raising their children and we shake our heads saying, dont they get it?

  what is wrong with the org that it cant see how they are treating the youth?

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  lisaBObeesa

  Thank you all for the responses!!

  It makes me so crazy when people say the young people leave the JWs because they ‘want to have fun.’ This misses the real motivations altogether. They leave to do the serious work of growing up. Fun is a byproduct of adolescents, just like all the emotional turmoil and pain is… remember that, folks? It wasn’t all fun, was it?

  The good news is, these issues can be worked through. At least that is what my instructor told me. When I asked, he said, “You can go back! You can resolve unresolved issues. You can go back and ask the questions you didn’t ask, do some of the things you didn’t do…The issues of adolescents can be resolved later in life, yes.”

  That is when I realized that THIS is exactly what I had been doing.

  When I got out of the Borg, I went wild with freedom. Next I spent some years being an ‘adult’ who had no idea who she was, or how she got to where she was. Then, I decided it was time, as Joel says, to find out what I wanted to be when I grow up. I went back to school to learn about the world and myself. It didn’t take very long to realize where I heart was telling me to go, to realize ‘what I wanted to be when I grew up.’ I had really known my whole life, but put it out of my mind for so many years! I started listening to my heart. I started taking HEALTHY risks. I quit my horrible job as a slave for a supermarket chain, and found a job doing what I love! I was 30 years old.

  I realized that this whole time, I had been doing what I should have gotten done between the ages of say, 12-22. Sure enough, it took about 10 years to sort all this out. I feel much better now :). In some ways, I still have far to go. Social situations still make me break into a cold sweat sometimes. But I know what to do about it now: get into some social situations! LEARN. Be easy on myself when I mess up. Face my fears. Reach out.

  The best thing I ever did was start taking some college classes. There is a thread called “Every Song I Hear” about how so many songs remind one of the exJW struggle. Well, I could start a thread called, “Every Class I Take” about the same thing. Early Childhood Development, Adolescent Development (of course!), Oral Communication, Cultural Anthropology (This one was amazing!), Critical Thinking, Reading, and Writing……..

  Joel: You are on your way already. You just don't know it! Keep it up! I don't know how to find a good counselor, wish I did!

  LisaBobeesa

  PS: For the folks who mentioned getting the book I quoted, I got it at the bookstore of my community college, for one of the classes I took. Any textbook about Child and Adolescent Development should have this info in it. I recommend taking these classes to anyone, if not to learn about your kids, then to learn about yourself!
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  141

  JW Kids Leave the Organization: Facts

  by Maximus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the october 1 watchtower 2001 features articles on training children "properly" and dealing with a "prodigal child.

  the latest inside u.s. figures reveal that 86% of jw children leave the fold, with some 29% who eventually come back for reasons of family ties, most never "reaching out.

  " that means over half leave permanently.

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  lisaBObeesa

  DOH!
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  141

  JW Kids Leave the Organization: Facts

  by Maximus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the october 1 watchtower 2001 features articles on training children "properly" and dealing with a "prodigal child.

  the latest inside u.s. figures reveal that 86% of jw children leave the fold, with some 29% who eventually come back for reasons of family ties, most never "reaching out.

  " that means over half leave permanently.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Maximus,

  Thanks for reading it and being so kind! However you should not have been so kind as to not tell me that 88% and 22% equal 110%, not 100%! lol! (Silly me!)

  As to the having their cake and eating it too, and college:

  James Marcia did a study on adolescent identity status in 1967 that touched on this subject. Quoting from another of my textbooks, Child and Adolescent Development, by Seifert and Hoffnung, talking about foreclosed individuals who went to college:

  "Their college experiences served mainly to confirm the childhood beliefs to which they rigidly held rather than provide challenging alternatives. " (Marcia, 1967)

  So if the child is really foreclosed, and not leading a secret double life or hiding secret beliefs or questions, then college will not usually open their eyes (These are the educated Bethel applicants the Borg is looking for).

  College IS 'dagerous' to the JW beliefs of youths who are not really foreclosed (yet?), but rather in 'Identity Moritorium'--that is, they havn't made up their minds. Since most of the JW youths fall into this catagory, it makes sense that the Borg would discourage college and try to hang onto these publishers...I guess..

  --LisaBobeesa

  edited to try to hide my math issues. Not even going to try to fix the spelling issues.
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  141

  JW Kids Leave the Organization: Facts

  by Maximus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the october 1 watchtower 2001 features articles on training children "properly" and dealing with a "prodigal child.

  the latest inside u.s. figures reveal that 86% of jw children leave the fold, with some 29% who eventually come back for reasons of family ties, most never "reaching out.

  " that means over half leave permanently.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Sure, Maximus!

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=10438&site=3

  (right now it is about 12 posts down on the first page...)
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  141

  JW Kids Leave the Organization: Facts

  by Maximus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the october 1 watchtower 2001 features articles on training children "properly" and dealing with a "prodigal child.

  the latest inside u.s. figures reveal that 86% of jw children leave the fold, with some 29% who eventually come back for reasons of family ties, most never "reaching out.

  " that means over half leave permanently.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Maximus said:

  "the wts and the gb disgust me. how can they willfully and knowingly continue to mess up the lives of thousands of children?"

  I have a theory on this. I made a post called, "raising kids to be cult members." Please, somebody read it and tell me your thoughts!

  --LisaBobeesa
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  29

  Raising Kids to be Cult Members!!!

  by lisaBObeesa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in another thread, there is a discussion about young people leaving the jws at a rate of something like 88%.

  we see the rules given to the sheep for raising their children and we shake our heads saying, dont they get it?

  what is wrong with the org that it cant see how they are treating the youth?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  In another thread, there is a discussion about young people leaving the JWs at a rate of something like 88%. We see the rules given to the ‘sheep’ for raising their children and we shake our heads saying, “Don’t they get it? What is wrong with the Org that it can’t see how they are treating the youth? Don’t they see that this way has never worked, and will continue to not work, and the kids will keep leaving at an alarming rate?”

  I believe that the GB knows exactly what they are doing, and they have a reason. “Why, you ask. “What possible reason do they have for encouraging parents to raise their children in such a way that most of them LEAVE?” Why? Because it is not about the ones who leave!

  In order to explain, I must explain a little basic Child Development theory, as it relates to why kids raised in the Borg often leave. Then we can address the real issue: the 12% that stay.

  **From now on, when I talk about ‘JW parents’ I mean the parents that follow Borg rules to the letter. And by 'Borg rules' I mean the real JW rules (no dating, no socializing outside the Borg, no sports, etc. You know the ones).**

  Reasons kids leave the Borg:

  #1. Adolescents is the time when abstract thought emerges, and the beginnings of relativist reasoning are possible. Once you are old enough to realize that everyone in the ‘world’ is NOT BAD, the JWs loose a major amount of power. This realization is quickly followed by the realization that 99% of the JW ‘rules’ are totally stupid. There goes a bunch more of the Borg’s control.

  #2 The developmental needs of adolescents are not met in the Borg. Each stage of human development has certain needs, and these needs must be met for development to proceed in a healthy way. Infants need to learn to trust and to feel secure. Preschoolers need to practice doing things on their own (‘NO! Let ME do it! I can pour the milk myself!) School age kids need to DO stuff (bike ride, build models, play house, whatever) JWs can raise very developmentally healthy children, up to this point.
  But adolescents have needs, too. They NEED to try out identities (am I a preppy person? A rocker? An athlete?). They NEED to feel connected to a wide variety of peer groups to do it. They try out different clothes, music and friends. They need to question their beliefs and look for reasons for beliefs. JW parents who insist on following the Borg rules cannot allow their children to meet these developmental needs. I believe forcing an adolescent to live by Borg rules is abusive and damaging to their development.

  #3 Adolescents, like adults, need to feel they have some reasonable amount of POWER over their own lives. This is a need. Adolescents who feel they have no control over their lives will find a way to get it. Pregnancy, eating disorders, risk-taking behaviors, and drug abuse in teens often have roots in the teen’s belief that they have no power over their own lives. (“ I chose to have a baby. I did this myself. I made this choice.”) JW teens must act out, lead double lives, or run away in order to have any power over their own lives. They NEED to do this, psychologically speaking.

  Just as a baby must crawl at a certain time, an adolescent must explore the world, make some of his own choices and decide what he believes. The JW faith does not allow this. We are left with the question: Why does the Borg do this to it’s children? Why does it continue to chase off 88% of the young people? For the answer we must look at the 12% who STAY in the Borg.

  The 12% remaining are MOSTLY youths who allow their parents and the Borg to choose their identity for them (“You are a JW!" "Um, ok."). These kids never develop an identity of their own and they have difficulties with relationships and intimacy. (How can you share yourself with another person if you have no idea who you are??) They become ‘Identity foreclosed’.

  Allow me to quote a Child Development text, Infants, Children, and Adolescents, by Laura E. Berk (PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND SEE IF THIS REMINMDS YOU OF ANYONE):

  “Identity foreclosed individuals have committed themselves to values and goals without taking time to explore alternatives. Instead, they accept a ready-made identity that authority figures (usually parents but sometimes teachers, religious leaders, or romantic partners) have chosen for them.”

  “Foreclosed individuals tend to be dogmatic, inflexible, and intolerant. Some use their commitments in a defensive way, regarding any difference of opinion as a threat. Most are afraid of rejection by people on whom they depend for affection and self-esteem (Frank, Pirsch, & Wtight, 1990: Kroger, 1995).”

  In short, poorly adjusted individuals who are ‘identity foreclosed’ make excellent cult members(!!!!). That is why the Borg wants the children raised this way, and always will.

  ---LisaBobeesa
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  3

  Funnies for LisaBooobesa

  by LovesDubs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found this one of mine...on a site.

  observations at assemblies.

  i gotta get me one of dem signs that says "brothers needed" and walk around the assembly all day with it like that guy with the bad acne is doing...maybe i can find me a millennium man and settle on down for eternity.

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  lisaBObeesa

  (Holding up lighter and clapping....wait, is that possible?)

  I am such a fan, would you sign my WT and Awake?

  Thanks for the post! It made my day, brought back memories, and made me feel superior to my JW sister who still actually attends these things!

  Thanks!
  --LisaBobeesa
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  7

  Jah?

  by Naeblis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have you noticed that god's name seems to be getting shorter and shorter in magazines and in witness talk??

  it went from grand titles like "the heavenly merciful sassified one" to "jehovah god" and now "jah" it's jah this and jah that.

  it's like the witnesses have been taken over by rastafarians.

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  lisaBObeesa

  ************It's jah this and jah that. It's like the witnesses have been taken over by rastafarians. What's goin on???************

  LMAO!
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  42

  Dear Fellow Witnesses

  by Carlo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear fellow witnesses of the true god jehovah,.

  with all the anti-watchtower information that has been spreading all over the world via the internet, it becomes all the.

  more important to stay close to jehovah and his organization.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Now I am sure I read this on an email group, because this is just what happened last time! LOL!

  People, chill!!!!!!! He got you, ok?

  --LisaBo
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  42

  Dear Fellow Witnesses

  by Carlo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear fellow witnesses of the true god jehovah,.

  with all the anti-watchtower information that has been spreading all over the world via the internet, it becomes all the.

  more important to stay close to jehovah and his organization.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Carlo,
  Were you on Jes-wit email group years ago? This post is so familiar...
  -Lisabobeesa