new chapter: i dont think thats a far statement, can you honestly say that i dont love people, i love ppl alot, if you believe it or not im here talking because i love ppl, i cryed friday because i love ppl, im going through hell in my family because i love ppl, when you say evil you make it sound as if im putting ppl in some catogry as serail killers, what im saying is we are so sinfull we can not even control our thinking many times, yes lust may have got two people together,but what does it do to ppl who are married, lust outside of your mate causes many bad things ,but yet who here has not had sexual thoughts at all for another while being married? its sin you call it human i call it sinful human.
Of course you love people, I didn't make a statement otherwise. And yet, you DO believe that people are basically evil in need of a savior. Evil being relative, some people are more evil than others, and I know you can distinguish, but at our base you see our thoughts and impulses as evil. You see humans as fallen. I'm saying that it is perfectly normal to look at someone other than your spouse and lust a bit. It does not make one bad or evil, and it is not a sin. What a person does with such is completely up to how they wish to affect others. So while you are ready to say everyone is a sinner for lusting, I simply say, oh well, human nature.
And it's important to note that not all marriages follow the Christian guidelines. So what may be very hurtful in one marriage is not hurtful in another. It all depends on what each person expects and how they want to live. So we can't say what is wrong for another person is wrong for every person, because not all actions cause the same reactions. It depends on each situation.
But your way introduces a lot of shame into the equation. A person must feel guilty for a totally normal human emotion, even if they don't allow that emotion to overtake them and they consider their actions. In your eyes, they have already sinned. Which is a damned shame! The REASON nobody can claim they've never lusted is because it is NORMAL. You have turned normal into sinful, and therefore, set everyone up to be sinners. What they do with that normal emotion should be a reflection of their own values and those they affect. I know couples that are not monogomous. They just aren't, and it's really not a huge issue for them. Many people will judge them, but they don't judge each other, and they don't doubt their love for each other. You would call them sinful, but they really aren't hurting each other. Why should I care? Why should I convince them they should change simply because it is not how I would do things? Why should I bend over backwards to tell people who seem just fine that they should hate themselves and their nature on some level?
Outside of the Judeo/Christian model, there are many cultures that don't necessarily hold monogomy as some holy standard. They do fine. They are still here, and their children are cared for. As I've said before, read a little. Read some anthropology. Look into other cultures and learn how very healthy societies actually function quite well without your god, or your morals. They have their own.
I know this is not getting through to you, because you have a fundamentalist view. Your way is the right way because it is your god's way and your god is the only god and all that jazz. But maybe one day it will. Moral codes tend to be artificial and are a way to help society function and be cohesive. What is wrong in one culture is not wrong in others. So there is not the expected damage in one place from certain actions. If you live in a culture where it is rather typical and even expected that marriage mates will not be monogomous, then nobody is devastated when they aren't monogomous. You would like to point to the hurt, and I get that, but I can also point to where there is no hurt. Which just shows that your moral code is not needed everywhere, nor does it work for everyone. We are not sinful. We are human. We are diverse. We have natural emotions. We make decisions based on our own values. In that regard, I believe I trust and respect humans a great deal more than you do. I'm okay letting them carve out their lives to live by what they think is right.
And before we get into slippery slope arguments, societites all agree that actions that are hurtful in any context, murder, theft, etc are wrong. We are not so weak minded that if we remove one prohibition we will slide into pure and unrestrained decadence. I'm not so sure you believe that.