3rd generation JW, Start was maternal grandmother who became a JW after door to door contact while grandfather (never converted) was away in WWII. They had 4 children, all still very active in organizaton with over a dozen grandchildren and now a 4h gen. of many great-grandchildren, with almost all very active. I have had whispers/doubts that I had pushed away since childhood, and had not been active/heartfelt in a decade. Yet, I continued on with the only part I knew how to play, in order to maintain familial closeness. However, this last summer I had my own "crisis of conscience" when I personally witnessed the fact that JW's can and have taken blood with the congregation's, Hospital Liason Committee's and Governing Body's permission and approval. Not only that, it's not even human blood, but cow blood! A peeled orange s still an orange, and the product Hemapure (Bovine Hemoglobin, see Hemapure producer's website) is stiil blood, not a "fraction"! After what felt like a splitting of my soul, I decided that I needed to start researching all JW's rules with fresh/open eyes. I learned a lot, cast off my identity as a JW, and tossed my old blood card (signed at the beginning of the year by an elder that was secretly wife swapping. PS, what is the deal with JW mate swappers?)in the garbage. I am currently trying to learn what I can daily to enrich my new life, rather than follow that tempting path toward bitterness & hate for all those and all things JW. I am blessed with a husband and children that have also seen "the true light" this summer, and a sister & father and a long-time friend that walked away from the org. years ago. I have also met many wonderful new friends, by abandoning my judgemental thoughts towards those that I come into contact with. I am so much happier, and look forward to the future.