Renaesunsure

Renaesunsure

Joined

Hi everyone. I'm a 3rd generation witness. been through a lot of crap. My brother was born premature in 85 was given a blood transfusion without my parents consenting. My family cppped a lot for that. He ended up with permanent brain damage due to lack of oxygen. My dad was an MS at the time. Elders thought it best he stand down. So our family struggled on without help from the congo. We moved house in 93. Put my brother in care. Never mentioned to anyone in new congo.He died in 96. To everyones suprise. Had the memorial in our kingdom hall. Since then people have been diferent to me. I felt i never fitted in with the young one in our congo.Except for one girl who everyone said was a bad inflence. stayed friends with her till she left home in99 I longed for a boyfriend so went congo hunting met a couple of guys 1st guy was a bit to highly strung 2nd guy was deaf. I felt pressured and sorry for him. Next thing i know im engaged to him 2 weeks later! whoops. Elders told me i was being very stupid brought me to my senses.So that finnished. I was never the same again. I made friends with 2 guys from another congo. they werent baptised My mum found out got so furious at me. Even locked me in my room and cut of the phone so i couldn't talk to them.I started not wanting to go to meetings. What was the point i had no friends in the congo. A few months later my mother left my dad in 2003. My dad was devestated when he found my mum in bed with her boss.I was so angry with her. I remember sending a really nasty letter to her saying she was as good as dead to me. She explained to me how she felt so controlled and thought if she didn't leave she may aswel have been dead. Her life was nothing but having to go fs and meeting. She'd lost all her meaning in life. once she told me that i understood and agreed. Behind my dad's back I got a worldly b/f. I moved in with my mum a month later.She let me see my b/f whenever. After knowing my b/f for a week she said he may aswell move in. I was suprised. when my dad found out he was furious. He must have told every witness in the congo. cos when i went to shops they'd all look the other way. Including my aunty. I told my dad i was getting married. He said something along the lines i won't be coming along i don't condone your behavior. The night before due to get married i went around to my dad's an begged him to come to my wedding. I had it at the registry office just immediate family. He did come with a lot of pleading.I only came back in the truth because of being left out with dad family. he wouldn't talk to me. My husband has been studying for a 3 years now. The elder taking the study is starting to get peeved.Saying things like you'll have to think about being in the theo ministry school if you want to get anywhere. Its driving me nuts. He says he doesn't mind.I do beleive in the truth. Just not the people, that give you guilt trips. A sister came over this arvo to encourage me to go to the assembly this weekend. I can't stand the you must do this you must do that, read this go there, now ,now ,now the end is coming, the end is coming so you can't sit on the fence. I see the hypocrasy in it.