Fadeout

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Posts by Fadeout

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  116

  Abusive People On This Board...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you handle them?

  i mean, sometimes they write things that are really hurtful!.

  do you just ignore them altogether?

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  Fadeout

  Seriously, though, this is just another: you're too insensitive vs. you're too sensitive thread. We could post on here till our fingers bleed and never convince anyone of our view.

  What cuts one person to the quik is just a passing comment to someone else. But that does not make the pain any less real. I think we all need to be reminded every now and then that our words have power. Power to uplift and power to destroy. Sometimes our words are misunderstood, and the best thing to do is simply apologize and move on.

  So basically, it's just Cartman vs. Dr. Nelson all over again.
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  60

  OK, let me explain....

  by dawg in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so, the last few threads i've written have been about telling your families and friends how you feel; many of you have given me the reasons you don't speak out to your families, but i want to tell you the main reason you should.

  please let me explain.... .

  i keep on stressing this point because how it makes you feel, i'm telling you all, that for over 19 years, i let information about my thoughts out slowly, then the tipping point... at my uncle's funeral 2 february's ago, while listening to my family pontificate at dinner about who so and so is pioneering and the like, it hit me that i was sick to the core of them throwing their bullisi*t beliefs at me like i was inferior or something.

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  Fadeout

  I keep on stressing this point because how it makes you feel, I'm telling you all, that for over 19 years, I let information about my thoughts out slowly, then the tipping point... at my Uncle's funeral 2 February's ago, while listening to my family pontificate at dinner about who so and so is pioneering and the like, it hit me that I was sick to the core of them throwing their bullisi*t beliefs at me like I was inferior or something. I mean... wtf?

  OK dawg, I've disagreed before with the "in your face" approach you've promoted, but in your situation here it seemed appropriate. Just reading your experience above gave me a little knot in my stomach. I wouldn't take that crap either.

  You may have a hard time believing it but my family is NOT over the top with the JW-ness. As I've mentioned I helped deconvert my mom, my closest family member. I have about a dozen other family members I'd consider close. We have no elders and no current MSs. At least four of them have been DFed at some point.. others simply didn't get caught. Several are inactive. Most miss meetings frequently. Only one or two pioneers.

  On the rare occassions that the conversation turns to "spiritual matters", I speak my piece. I am willing to disagree with the Society. If I were to come out and say "The Governing Body is crap, the Bible is ridiculous, and God is made-up," there is not much for me to gain, and a lot to lose. I share points privately with other family members. I don't observe shunning rules and haven't been to a meeting since the Memorial. I am trying to make progress with them, and even if I don't, my relationship with my family by no means revolves around the religion, so I don't see the need to jeopardize it on that basis.
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  15

  I'm Ready To Confront My Dad - I'd Like Some Feedback...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those of you that don't know... dad thought i was an apostate, ww3 was started, elders were involved, bla, bla bla.

  i didn't speak to him for 1 1/2 months because i was hurt in the way in which he treated me.. now, i'm ready to deal with what happened and actually talk to him about it... this is about what i want to get across:.

  i understand you took the actions you did because you were afraid.

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  Fadeout

  That would be great as a letter. There's really no way to argue against anything you said.
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  116

  Abusive People On This Board...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you handle them?

  i mean, sometimes they write things that are really hurtful!.

  do you just ignore them altogether?

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  Fadeout

  Sirona and friends: if you do not find the words and the tone of that post abusive and condescending I can only surmise that you are in the same boat as the one who posted it.

  I think accusing a post of having an "abusive tone" is a cop-out. Is the post abusive, or isn't it?

  I don't know if I'm "in the same boat" as the poster, as we'd first have to determine what boat that is. But I do know that I respect free speech and am not easily offended. What I usually find most offensive is the taking of quick offense by others.

  "stay away from sharp objects"

  Well now, that's simply good advice we'd all do well to follow. Uh... unless you're a surgeon... or a swordsmith.
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  12

  Shock and Awe Doctrine/Changes- Watchtower Comments

  by burningbridges in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everybody, i wanted to compile some watchtower / book references of doctrine changes or absolutely horrific comments the watchtower has said to show to my soon to be ex husband (i'm trying to get him to drift, so far it is not working, like at all, but i'm hopeful.

  ) here's a good example of something that did shock him though!!!!

  the watchtower said this about apostates and how they would like to be able to kill them: .

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  Fadeout

  Yup, that's an absolutely classic quote.

  What I love is that the question is:

  how should such persons be treated by members of the family?

  And the response is to explain for two solid paragraphs why we should not kill them. As if we needed a whole lot of convincing. The WT is practically like a hostage negotiator here, trying to get us to take the knife away from their throat with the assurance that God will do them in for us.

  A good one to share with both dubs and non-dubs alike.

  Imagine someone casually asking a dub workmate, "Hey is it true that you practice shunning of family members who disagree with your religion?"

  and the dub responds,

  "Well we certainly don't kill them! That's against the law, and we must obey the laws of the land!"

  Creepy.
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  116

  Abusive People On This Board...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you handle them?

  i mean, sometimes they write things that are really hurtful!.

  do you just ignore them altogether?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Fadeout

  Jamie, I saw that quote from BizzyBee and I must say I don't feel it was abusive. It may have been insensitive, even ill-advised, but my God, this is an open discussion forum on the internet, what are we supposed to expect? By and large the posters on this board are exemplary.

  I realize that a privately owned forum like this is not subject to First Amendment protection, but the principle behind it definitely, I feel, has application to an expressed personal opinion such as that cited. I would be disappointed if any Mod felt the need to censure such a comment.
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  116

  Abusive People On This Board...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you handle them?

  i mean, sometimes they write things that are really hurtful!.

  do you just ignore them altogether?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Fadeout

  It's a bit difficult sometimes because sometimes I say things on this board that I haven't ever told anybody. Things that I've had in my heart for years. When I say it, I feel very raw, like I'm naked in front of people or something. Some of the things are very painful to say. Then when somebody sh!ts on those words like it's nothing, really pisses me off sometimes...

  I think just about everyone here can relate to that. But you have to be prepared for that when you post these personal things on the internet for all the world to see. Some will support you, some will ignore you, some will insult you, some will accuse you of lying.

  Three choices: 1) Stay away from places where hurtful people could be lurking, like the internet, or the outdoors, 2) Live life in a constant state of outrage and injury, 3) Realize that what other people think or say about you doesn't matter.

  You are a smart cookie cognac, you'll be alright.
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  11

  Functionally Insane:The JW Altered Reality

  by BreakingAway in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  insane .

  1.not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.

  2.of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is mentally deranged: insane actions; an insane asylum.

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  Fadeout

  Hmm... sort of a learned schizophrenia.
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  45

  Does Wearing Your Nations Uniform Automatically Ensure a High Moral Ground?

  by hillary_step in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i realize that the contents of this thread may enflame the passions of those on all sides of the house.

  if your sensibilities are easily damaged, you take yourself to seriously, or your humor is wanting, then be warned this may not be the thread for you.. i have been reading with interest a thread on this board today that is discussing the treatment of us veterans.

  i have noticed that when such subjects are discussed there is an automatic assumption that those who don the uniforms of their respective nations, they somehow are automatically walking on a higher moral ground.. i find it all the more puzzling that those who cry the loudest for 'special' treatment for soldiers, and by special i mean as compared to the rest of the working masses, seem to be of an republican bent.

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  Fadeout

  H_S:

  You seem to agree that a person who fights for his country, for whatever reason, is automatically ensured a high moral ground for doing so.

  Your thread title is about wearing the uniform. Wearing the uniform simply means you've taken the vow. A record of personal sacrifice living up to that vow is another matter enitrely.

  I'll tell you what ensures a "high moral ground" IMO: Living by one's own priciples and respecting others who live by theirs.

  If a person determines that, in the interests of the people of his city, he will put his own life on the line and become a firefighter, and he then does his job without making moral judgments, putting out fires and rescuing victims in houses, churches, porn shops, yes, I think that he has the moral high ground respecting his service to his city in his chosen profession, which may or may not have anything at all do to with the morality of his choices in any other aspect of life.

  Now an observer may criticize and judge the firefighter for going on the call to the burning church, it being part of "satan's organization," or may criticize him for saving the proprietor of the porn shop. This observer may claim that the firefighter invited the judgment on himself when he made the decision to aid that immoral operation.

  This same observer may also be unimpressed with the war record of a soldier who put his life on the line engaging in an "unjust" war.

  Personally, regarding someone like McCain, while his war record should certainly not be the only or even the major factor in determining his fitness as national leader, I think it is clearly an objective factor in his favor that he has actually sacrificed for his principles and for his country to an extent inconceivable to most of us.
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  36

  how to make the perfect sandwich

  by wings in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first you have to have an appreciation for the fact that it is an art form.. like an appreciation of music....endless possibilities...... then you have to start with good fresh bread, if you don't have that, you won't hit perfect.

  hot or cold?

  doesn't really matter...perfection can be found either way.

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  Fadeout

  fadeout....sounds wonderful....what kind of salmon, left over or smoked?

  Surprisingly, a frozen salmon burger patty. I never woulda guessed it'd be decent, let alone delectable!