Seriously, Christopher, you do not have to talk to these people at all. You are alowing them way too much control over your life. Meet them at the door and tell them "you are not welcome here. Do not ever come back here again." Then close the door. Then tell your wife that you do not want her talking to them about you, that you love her and want things in your life to work, but that the elders and the JW org are not going to be a part of it. TAke your stand. YOu cannot control what her stand will be, but you cannot have a good life together if the JW org is such a part of it.
I know at this time, that sounds impossible to do. You need to get some professional help to help you sort things out and to give you moral support in how you handle this. You need courage and strength.