Tyrion

Tyrion

Joined

Raised as a witness. Became an unbaptized publisher at 14. Although I was convinced the WT had The Truth, the fact that they actively tried to keep you from reading any material against the organization has bothered me since I was 15 or 16. I liked to do research on various historical subjects and one thing I learned early in my life was that you can never be sure of anything before you've examined it from multiple angles, both positive and negative. On top of that I knew of several people who became "apostates" after reading apostate literature. For my family that was a sign that you should stay far away from this "poison." For me it was a troubling sign that these alledged apostates might be right. I thought "If every single JW who reads apostate literature becomes an ex-JW soon thereafter this indicates that they MUST have some some decent evidence." I decided that I wouldn't be baptized before I had examined the organization closely, not just from WT literature. And so I did, I started doing research about a year and a half ago. I was astonished by what I read. After a few weeks I was convinced that JW's could not have the truth, and that I would never become one of them. Despite that, everytime after a "big" meeting (DC and such) I was so indoctrinated that I found myself wondering if they might have The Truth after all (I still attended all meetings for the sake of family). Back then I didn't know they were a cult and didn't understand how mind control worked. During the past half year I've had doubts often without particular reason. This annoys me tremendously, I know there's no valid evidence in support of the JW's being the true religion while there's a shitload of evidence against them. But somehow I can't shake the irrational feeling that they are the true religion. I'm sort of dissapointed in myself that I can't deal with this, I always thought that I was someone who was very capable of thinking rationally, who wouldn't let his judgement be clouded by irrational feelings. Recently I've acquired the book "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan, and I've been a little better since I've started reading that. About a month ago I've finally announced to my direct family that I don't believe in the WTS anymore. They think I'm being misled and try to convince me to study more and continue to attend the meetings. I plan on showing them some of the evidence that the borg is deceiving them sometime soon.But I know I'll only have one chance and it has to be very good, so I've been a bit hesistant so far...