UnwrittenSong
JoinedI'll attempt to write my story as clearly as possible - I'm sorry if I'm not clear enough. My five older siblings and I were raised to be JWs - both of my parents were baptized in 1973. I have three older brothers and two older sisters. My oldest brother and his wife were both baptized simply so they could get married in a Kingdom Hall (to please their parents). Besides my eldest brother, the only other person (out of my siblings) that got baptized was one of my sisters. She was 14 years old and only got baptized to please my parents. Since this story is more about her than me, I will disclose he first name. My sister's name is Chandra and while she does have quite the "mess with me and you'll regret it" attitude, she is also one of the sweetest people I know. Like I already mentioned, Chandra was baptized when she was 14. By the time she was 16 she was trying to balance school, a part time job, meetings, and going out in service. She was still just a kid and all of the stuff in her life was too much so one night while she was at work (at a local movie theatre), she tried smoking cigarettes with some of her co-workers. She ended up smoking to help "relieve" stress and soon she was smoking regularly. At first she tried to cover it up and keep it from our parents but one night at a Thursday night meeting she told my parents and the elders that she needed to talk with them after the meeting. So after the meeting they went back to the elder's room and closed the door. My siblings and I eagerly awaited the outcome while Chandra was shut up with them in that room telling them that she was a smoker and didn't intend on quitting. They said she would have to quit or they would have to disfellowship her to "keep the congregation clean" and "protect the flock". She told them they would have to disfellowship her. So, at 16 years old, my sister was disfellowshipped for something minor (compared to what the children of the elders were doing). I was proud of her. My siblings and I all knew of other kids in the congregation that were doing the same thing... but unlike the other kids, Chandra actually went forward and was honest. Since Chandra was only 16 and she still lived at home when she was disfellowshipped, my parents could still treat her just as they always had. When she turned 18 my parents didn't change the way they treated her. In fact, my mother had developed a very close friendship with Chandra. Everyone in my family knew that Chandra was my parents' favorite child (which has never bothered me). Years later, after Chandra had moved out and gotten married, the elders showed up at my parents' home for a "shepherding call". The elders told my parents they had found out that my parents were still associating with Chandra on a very regular basis. (My uncle [whom is also a JW] had told the elders he had noticed my sister stopping by often). Then they proceeded to tell my parents that they needed to cut off all communication with Chandra. The day my father told Chandra face to face that they couldn't speak with her anymore was one of the few times my father has ever cried - my mother was upstairs in their room crying too hard to come downstairs and say one last goodbye to her daughter and friend. That day Chandra called me to tell me, crying so hard I could barely understand her. I began researching the history of the Jehovah's Witnesses as soon as the pain/sorrow/rage began to die down a little. It's been over a year since that day. My parents have talked with Chandra on quite a few occasions since then. It seems that they're trying to be JWs in "good standing" but still hold on to Chandra and it's taken its toll on them and on Chandra. They aren't close like they once were, but my parents just can't let go. I don't want them to let go. As I mentioned, I've done research - hours upon hours of it. I've found many things that the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society don't want the members of their organization to see or hear. At first, my siblings and I were working together in a plan to use the proof against the JWs that has been found to try to get my parents out of the organization. As time passed, Chandra and the rest of my siblings just accepted the way things are. Chandra seems to think that any attempts would be hopeless/pointless. She still cant look at pictures of either one of our parents without crying. I'm the only one left in our family that simply will not accept the situation and I refuse to give up. I've got help from my future husband and from God, but my siblings have backed down. I don't have a solid plan, but I fully intend to do something. I haven't tried anything yet because I've only got one shot - if I fail, they'll probably say I'm bad association, kick me out and refuse to talk with me. I've prayed about it many times (yes, I'm still religious). I've got a lot of information to work with, but it's a very delicate situation and it is the whole reason I am here.