To reach the goal there seemed to be untold amounts of political intrigue, arse licking & generally being a pious knob end. Loved by few, hated by most
haha..if you are from edinburgh i know who you are talking about..lol (cant remember his name - star trek fan)
i wanted to be a c.o.
i'm quite sure there are people who would say that i was too keen..if by keen they mean being enthusiastic genuinely loving it and being good at speaking preaching shepherding counselling and forgiving.
my problem was i really really couldn't play the game..i was useless at political intrigue and worse at arse licking..i could be pious on occasions but only to knob ends not as one..worst of all i was loved by most and hated by few. unfortuntely for me the few that hated were generally those who were in a position to make the recommendations and they hated because i was perceived as a threat to their position. and to think i used to believe that it was all guided by holy spirit..
which is the really sad thing - since i was unaware that politics arse licking etc etc were factors then i was left thinking that jehovah and the holy spirit were telling me that i did not qualify.
cue beakdown..and wrongdoing..and df-ing..and disillusionment..and suicial tendancies........................
and freedom..which is just another word for nothing left to lose