I became a Jdub at the age of 16. I had a child out-of-wedlock who was 1 year old at the time and I was searching for answers - I wanted my son to have a future and the one the witnesses portrayed was better than anything I'd ever heard! The promise of an earthly paradise overshadowed all the weird doctrines and practices. I became a full-fledge fanatic within 1 year. Fast forward ... bad marriage to Witness man who didn't know the meaning of work, career, future, ambition HELLOOOOOO ... Can't we live a little now Honey - He wasn't having it. Our life was about meetings, studying and selling books and bibles ... oh yeah, and trying to feed our 5 kids (we had four together). I slowly began to awaken from my spiritual sleep when the King of the North prophecy was revised. I was stunned to say the least. Then, college education was OK (as long as you were going to be a pioneer - how stupid is that!), then - OMG - What the hell was that 'generation' twist all about??? I didn't even try to swallow that one. That was it for me. I had a great job, met some nice folks at work and realized that people are people both in the org. and out ... some good, some not so much. Why would God destroy ALL these people just because they didn't want to live this weird, boring ass life I'm living! And OH was I tired of field service. I couln't even fake it anymore. I still remember the street and the last door I knocked on. I slowly started slacking off from meetings - my children's earaches and tummy aches and anything else I could come up with kept the shepherds at bay for a few months. But when Hubby saw that I wasn't happy sitting at home bored out of my mind anymore and I began thinking for myself, reading 'worldly books' instead of the Watch Tower lit. he called the dogs on me. Funny it didn't occur to them to come by until he asked ... I was changing right before everyone's eyes ... I even warned a few sisters that they would look up one day and wonder where I was, I knew I was on the way out! A couple of elders finally came by anyway but I didn't even go into the room with them, I just sat on the stairs off our living room while they sat on the sofa reading the guilt trip scriptures ... thou shalt not forsake meetings at the KH ... Thou shalt turn in a regular field service report ... yadda yadda yadda. I sat there completely emotionless ... no brother, I don't need you to pray with me ... I don't need anything, I don't know if I'm coming to the meeting tomorrow or not. They left dumbfounded, stunned and not knowing what to say or do. Their voodoo didn't work on me anymore. I left the Hubby a few months later after he gave me an ultimatum to come back to the truth or it was over. BUH BYE! I couldn't get away from him fast enough.I knew God loved me for myself and I couldn't belive he wanted me to be miserable for the rest of my life. I was 29 going on 30 and it was time that I started living. I knew going to the memorial in 1998 that it would be my last meeting. I haven't set foot in a KH since! Hallelujah! The internet kept me from going back. I was searching for the book "Young People Ask" and came across the ex-JW's. Thanks to the information out here on the web my happiness and peace have increased a-hundred fold. Thanks to EVERYONE whose done something to get the word out on this mind control cult known as Jehovah's Witnesses. You're giving people their lives back! One LOVE