Friends.....sigh

by Es 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  Es

  Hello all,

  Do you ever feel that your fed up with your friends and you would rather just be alone as they are too much maintenace.

  I know its prob because im stressed bout the wedding but i really cant cope with them anymore. One of my bridesmaids (my best friend) has kinda just turned this round to her day. She is a tom boy so she is really excitied bout getting dressed up and i dont begrudge her that but its turned into almost like her debut heheh. Like she wants a professional photo done with her and her boyfriend who is not in the bridal party (and we have limited amount of photos), she cant wait to "walk down the aisle and have everyone look at her"....its almost like i dont even exist.

  Its amazing how weddings can turn people into .....i dont even know what. The flower girls mother thinks that her "beautiful" daughter is going to be in all our photos. I dont know i just know if i ever was a bridesmaid my main priority would be to support the birde to be there for her.

  Everyone seems happy to sit back and have everything done for them and none of them have offered to help, bar one of my bridemaids who has been excellent.

  On the other hand an ex jw who i met on a womens group has offered to video our whole wedding make it into a mini movie with music and everything for free...and i havnt even met her in person just chat over email. Amazing isnt it

  Sorry for the whinge

  es
• 

  fairchild

  Hi es,

  Don't worry, it's going to be all right, trust me. I was in the catering business for a few years and catered about 3 weddings a week. I dealth with many brides and grooms-to-be, and reading your words here immediately reminded me of that time. What should be a wonderful experience (preparing for the wedding), very often turns into a path, littered with stress and anxiety.

  One of my bridesmaids (my best friend) has kinda just turned this round to her day.

  Indeed, it is your day and nobody else's. But that doesn't efface the fact that the people in your wedding party also look forward to being dressed up and look good. It is normal for them to talk about their excitment. If it really bothers you a lot, perhaps you can talk about it to her? Tell her how you feel. Perhaps she doesn't realize that her excitment hurts your feelings.

  Everyone seems happy to sit back and have everything done for them and none of them have offered to help,

  Are you having a formal wedding? If so, this is quite normal behavior. People often don't have a clue as how much work goes into the preparation and the realization of a wedding. I bet if you asked for help, they would be happy to, but don't expect them to offer, because they probably think that everything is under control and that their help is not needed.

  The most important thing is to stay calm and take a step back here and there. Relax and trust that everything will work out just fine. I have never seen a bride who was not nervous, just don't let your nerves overtake and spoil the moment.

  If you are worried about the pictures, buy some cheap cameras (the ones you only use once and then throw away). Put them on the tables, this is done often at wedings. That way, there will be plenty of pictures and the guests won't bug the professional photographer too much if you have one. It really helps.
• 

  Es

  Thanks Fairchild....helped alot.

  I guess its not that her excitement hurts my feelings as i know i would too be excited if i was a bridesmaid, its just at times she can be demanding and i guess coz im not an outspoken person i cant get my head around how other people can be. We had decided to make shawls in the same material as the dresses and she decided as she was the matron of honor she didnt have to wear one. Stuff like that annoys me.

  One of the best man said he went and checked out the gardens, so i asked him if there was ample parking and he said "Oh i didnt go that far, anyway shouldnt you two be doing that" that really pissed me off.

  I dont know its kinda opened my eyes to our friends a bit get me.They seem happy to take and not to happy to give
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  misspeaches

  Oh Es you have scared me now hon!

  My boyfriend and I have been discussing getting married in about 12 months time. I've thought about all the preperation and cost and seriously eloping sounds so perfectly ideal. But he wants a full on proper wedding.... (Doesn't it usually work the other way around.)

  See this is a perfect example of why I don't want a big wedding.... Shame on you Es... I want to hear about all butterflies and sunshine wedding stories!!!! LOL
• 

  Es

  heheh sorry hun, yeah we wanted to elope too but coz this is the first wedding in 30 years on Mikes side of his fam his granny really wanted to see us get married.

  All i can say for advice is make sure you be careful who you choose to share your day with you inc bridal party, you really want people there that will be there for YOU and support YOU. coz at times your going to need it.

  And whats with people who dont bloody rsvp by the date argggggg.

  Im hoping tho after the day i will have lots of lovely stories to tell ya babe

  es
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Where is Samantha Stevens when you need her and her twitching lips and nose? I don't think I could handle that kind of stress. My hats off to you for doing as well as you are.

  I'm on the other side of this. Andy's sister is getting married in the spring. Her fiance asked Andy to be one of his groomsmen. I have been relieved because she didn't ask me to do anything. I told Andy that I'm afraid she will want me to something that involves working through the reception. I want to enjoy seeing the wedding. I am not really wanting to work through it. For his sister Diane's wedding, Andy and I did the music. That was fun and it was work, but all we had to do during the reception was change CDs four or five times. We found the musc and then converted it to data files and burned several hours onto five CDs. We used our dvd player and the groom rented a sound system for us, to play the music. We got so many compliments on the music, as did the bride and groom.

  Beth asked Andy to do the music for her wedding as well because it's cheaper than a DJ, as in nearly free as opposed to $1200 for a DJ. Andy told her he would be glad to help, but that she would need to assist him in choosing the music.Her taste is different from Diane's or ours. Beth has ended up booking a DJ instead.
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  Es

  at first we opted for no dancing and just back ground music, we also didnt want to get a d.j.

  But we have found a whole heap of Jazz cds kinda like Las Vegas which is pretty cool just makes you want to dance so we have decided to have the dance floor if people want to. We also got a few Michael Buble cds as well so hopefully that should be good

  es