Black/white thinking

by JW83 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  JW83

  
  Does anyone else here tend to still think in black & white? I still find it hard to think in shades of grey.

  Example: I'm tossing up at the moment doing a PhD or a Dip Education (teaching) but the hardest thing is that I feel like I can't take a detour from my path (PhD). The thought of a year travelling or even saving up to buy a house feels like wasted time to me, even though they are things I really want to do! I am sure this is a vestige of old dub thinking - you know, 'keeping your eyes on the prize'.

  I am thinking of doing a DipEd & travelling & working just to get this thinking out of my system!!!
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  AK - Jeff

  Although I am too old to think too seriously about getting that education now [ I didn't get out of the borg till I was 48 - now 50], I do understand the black and white thinking that makes it difficult to think.

  In your case, I say go for the degree that will free up your mind the most for the rest of your life - do the Dip, travel.

  Life is for living!

  Jeff
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  jgnat

  I am finding it hard to compose a reply. First of all, not being raised JW, I am having trouble relating, except that EVERYBODY has trouble making a decision. I skipped out of school because I was afraid of failure. I have never had a graduation ceremony. Second, I never interfere with someone else's life choices. You have to live with your decision, not me. Both plans sound do-able.
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  Ellie

  I can totally understand what you are saying, there are no grey areas in my thinking and it makes things awkward.
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  Es

  Im so like that and it pisses my fiance off majorly. For me its either will or wont, can or cant, yes or no and he just cant understand it he is a big grey thinker.

  es
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  Finally-Free

  There are two ways of thinking - my way and the wrong way!

  In many ways I still think in black and white, and it's a problem, and I'm working on it. I wasn't raised a JW and I wasn't like that before. I used to be flexible to a fault. After becoming a JW I started to see things in black and white. With each year that passed I became more inflexible, to the point where I couldn't even stand myself. I was perpetually angry. Eventually I realized what was happening, recognized the source of the problem, and decided that being a God-boy wasn't doing my personality any good.

  I just hope 20 years of indoctrination won't take another 20 years to undo.

  W
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  JW83

  Thanks for your replies! I guess that's where I'm at - I either accept it or try to change it!

  Another example: some new dumbass solicitor where I work part-time was severely patronising to me today & I just felt like, 'doesn't she know who I am?' Everyone was saying 'don't let it worry you' and I know that is the healthy response, but I feel like I'm constantly insecure in myself. When I was growing up as a witness that was sort of the only defence against criticism - 'well, don't they know I'm part of God's chosen people and they're all gonna die!' Sad, I know Also I feel like we're all going to be measured up when we die, if not by god then by history, and I want to be a success.

  One of my lecturers told me once to lighten up & go to the pub more often. Probably pretty good advice!