Advice For Parents Please

by ladonna 4 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ladonna

  Hi All,

  I have been pondering an issue for quite some time. My parents have known nothing else but the "truth" for all of their lives.
  Recently they went away on holiday with a host of other JW's and had a really fun time.
  At times they show great "spiritual" weakness that I have keenly observed, however, I do plant "dity little apostate seeds" but am questioning what type of life they would have if they were not part of the WTBTS.
  They would lose all of their children except myself...I have 5 sisters...and they would have no friends.

  I feel very sad to think that I really could bring about a great loneliness in what could be their "golden years".
  No one hates the WTBTS as much as those of us that see it for the evil that it is, but I am really struggling with my conscience over this one.

  If they were not emotionally tied to me, maybe I would feel differently; I just can't.

  Any suggestions???

  Thanks,
  Ana

  I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
• 

  gsark

  My friend's mother is 80 years young this year, she's a JW and we know it's not 'da trufe' and we think she knows it's not 'da trufe'. But where can she go at that age?

  So, her son just supports her efforts in field service and meetings and thinks it could be a lot worse.

  God can read hearts and minds. Ladonna, He knows who is brainwashed, who is weak, who doesn't know any better. And he will take care of those ones.

  Peace, my dear...you deserve it.

  Life is a roller coaster. Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!
• 

  Simon

  It's difficult - I'm in the same situation with my mother.

  I think that it becomes harder and harder to leave the longer you have been in it as you have so much of your life invested in it and to up and leave kind of admits that you've wasted your life.

  Better to not waste what is left though...
• 

  Francois

  Someone pointed out to me once that unless we are prepared to fully replace that which we cause to be gone in a person's spiritual life, we should think twice about causing that thing to be gone.

  When someone, like in your situation, is fairly old, then what's the use?

  Besides, God no doubt will respond to the faintest flicker of faith no matter where it takes origin - even the JWs. He takes note of the physical and superstitious emotions of his human children. And with those honest but fearful souls whose faith is so weak that it amounts to little more than an intellectual conformity to a passive attitude of assent to religions of authority like JWs, isn't God always alert to honor and foster even all such feeble attempts to reach out for him? Can he not do the same for true seekers in any religion, or in none? I just don't believe that there exists a formulaic requirement in the approach to God. I do believe that the leadership of any religion that burdens its members in the manner of the JWs is in for big, big trouble - and that goes all the way down to the ms level in my opinion.

  Ah, but the younger ones who have a life, who aren't in the sunset of it (like my parents who are 81 & 76), That's a different story. But to remove the social support system from oldsters, that would not be a loving thing to do in my opinion...which is worth all you paid for it.

  Frank
• 

  ladonna

  Gsark,
  Thankyou for your kind words, I always enjoy chatting to you in the "live chat". You are so warm and full of wisdom and you make me laugh which is really great. My whole family has been turned upside down this year with deaths, accidents ect, and it has left me feeling a little low and at a stage where I am reasessing my position as to how I really feel about proving to my parents that what they believe in is an evil cult.
  I really don't think I can leave them with nothing at this stage of their lives...they are both 75.

  Warm Hugs Gsark,
  Ana

  Simon....,

  What would some of us do without this DB? Thankyou so much for the effort and time you and your wife must put in to this for the benefit of all of us here.
  I understand where you are coming from with your parents, I know mine would feel like they had failed life.
  I know it would be better if they didn't waste the rest of their lives and I am almost 90% certain that if they really knew about all the sexual abuse that went on inside they would get out themselves.
  I just don't really know if it is up to me to judge their life at their age as wasting the rest of it.

  Warm thoughts to you and yours,
  Ana

  Francoise,

  I really enjoyed your post. Like always you show such wisdom. I enjoy all of your posts that I read......when you said..

  Quote:
  Someone pointed out to me once that unless we are prepared to fully replace that which we cause to be gone in a person's spiritual life, we should think twice about causing that thing to be gone.
  End Quote.

  This really got me thinking as to "how" I could possibly replace all that they have now. I can't and won't pretend to be able to.
  Part of my heart also says " what right do I have? "
  My mother does not go out on the doors.....she has always been far too introverted for door to door work and my father seldom does.
  They hardly go to meetings and yet they somehow retain a network of friends from within.
  Like you I feel "what is the use?" Part of me does anyway...

  I tend more to your argument of it not being a loving thing to do to the oldies.
  My sisters who are all around my age, I work like the devil himself on....one sister is actually listening.
  I am fairly sure that my parents know I am what the organisation calls an "apostate", but they turn a blind eye as they have shunned me before and my mother couldn't handle it.....so therefore, I saw that as an act of love on her part.

  But any youngsters........let's get them out.

  Thankyou Francoise, your opinion made a lot of sense and it was kind of you to respond.
  Ana