Sad, Mad, Glad - The Death of Love?

by wanderlustguy 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • wanderlustguy

    Sad, Mad, Glad, The death of a love.

    I had heard this so many times before. As I like doing with so many subjects, the need is there to put this down where it can bee seen. The death of a love, how does it happen? It can happen by our choice, someone else’s, or maybe actions…or lack thereof. I think I’ve seen it enough to write about it…of course still only my opinion.

    Relationships, whether they are friendships or more, end. We can go back to the reason season lifetime thing so many have heard before…

    Reason – the relationship exists to tech you something…mostly about yourself, what you want, don’t want, or maybe need.

    Season – we all have these, friends we knew in high school that we were friends forever with…now never to be seen again…unless it’s a reunions. Same for some romantic relationships, they are there for a while, a season of life as it were. This does not take away the beauty of them, in my opinion, because there is a purpose, there is the time of mutual fulfillment, but when it is gone, it is gone.

    Lifetime – the rarest relationship of all. These are the most precious gifts life can give us, forever love or friendship. What we wouldn’t do for these…

    All of these are necessary to us as people, and we each have the power to end them all. Strangely they all hurt, some worse than others and in no order of type, the “reason” relationships I have found are the hardest to get over once they have completed their course. These go away because of choice.

    Now we get to what I’m talking about…the end. How long does it take to get over a “love’? I’ve heard, most often, a good standard is half the time of the relationship. Is it half the time you wanted it, or half the time you actually had it? Today I’m thinking half the time you had it. There are definitely stages...

    Sad – This can be the understatement of a lifetime. Sad can be tearing a hole in your chest sad, end of the world sad, or just plan there is nothing I want sad. The hardest time a person can have emotionally. This is when people aren’t themselves, everyone wants to know what’s wrong, tries to cheer them up, all to no avail. It feels like you’re asleep even when you’re awake. Numb probably is a good word.

    Mad – Stage 2…sometimes the hardest to get to. Finally you realize this was a 2 way street, you didn’t do this on your own. You accept your responsibility yes, but you also realize these things take 2 people. Or maybe you are to blame, and you are mad at yourself for it. Or there could be stages. In any case…it is good because next comes stage 3…

    Glad – Finally, you realize what this was. Was it a reason, or season relationship? Was it something you thought was a lifetime and now you know better? Either way…the realization hits you that this was a good thing. Now you know what roads not to go down, or maybe you know more of what you want…or don’t want. Either way…it’s time to get busy living.

    In the end, the relationships we choose to have, whether reason, season, or lifetime, and whether they end because we choose it or the other person did, they help us. They define us. They let us choose what will and will not be acceptable, and they help us grow. The only thing we have to remember is, we can choose how we will live. We can choose to accept things as they are, or take action to make ourselves happy. No one else owes it to us, and we can’t depend on anyone else to help. We survived hell, some of us, and deserve to be respected, and happy. Demand it.


  • JH

    It boils down to "Love Hurts", and for love or friendships to last, both have to make a constant effort.

    Often good friendships are better than average or bad relationships.

    Yes, anyone can end a friendship or relationship. I ended many friendships, because they weren't satisfactory. They were one way friendships, people happy to see me, but never willing to do the first steps to come over and see me. I always had to do the first steps. I ended many of these so called friendships. But I never close the door to anyone who was once my friend, if I see they want to be friends again. As far as love relationships, I didn't have many...

    Yes, Sad, Mad, are the feelings when things aren't going right, but then Glad, I'm not sure. I'm the type that wants everything to last forever, so I'm never glad to see friendships or even relationships end.

  • MerryMagdalene

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, WLG. That's an interesting categorisation of relationships.

    The end of a relationship is always hard for me, even if it ends on a positive note and with mutual regard.

    Sad? Always. Mad? Sometimes. Glad? Glad to have survived, I guess, once a sense of understanding what happened and what the gift is with which one can walk away crystalizes. Glad that love doesn't really die, but only changes forms


  • HappyDad


    I appreciate the way you are able to put this into words. You have said my feelings on this exactly! I've been there and understand.


  • Been there
    Been there

    Something to think about. Thanks WLG.

  • david_10

    James Hillman, a noted psychoanalyst and lecturer, expressed it this way:

    "When you realize that what love is all about is heartbreak, you're all right. But if you think it's about fulfillment, happiness, satisfaction, union, all of that stuff, you're in for even more heartbreak...."

    That's awfully cynical. But mostly true, I'm afraid.

    But when it's all said and done, I'll still go with Tennyson: "Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all."


  • tijkmo

    however you spin still sucks

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