Speaking of asking for help...

by cyd0099 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • cyd0099

    While you were still in, did you ever just decide to go it on your own rather than ask the brothers© for help.

    I was telling a friend today about the time I broke my ankle. It was after a dub get-together and when in the next morning the shock wore off and it was apparant the bone was broken and I needed to get to the hospital to have it looked at, I chose to ride 10 miles on the same motorcycle I broke it on because it didn't occur to me to turn to my brothers© for help.

    I can look back now and think maybe I didn't want the hassle of the "why are you riding a motorcycle?" lecture, but really I felt I had nobody to rely on but myself.

  • Frog

    Heya cyd, I'd say you're right with the last one. There were dozens of dubs who were quick to demand the services of every other dub. I too never naturally thought to ask for help outside of my family. It never really seemed sincere I guess, and the majority of my dub friends weren't people I'd have otherwise been friends with if they weren't supposedly "related to each other in the faith"...and that was always obvious to me.

    Ouch for your ankle though matey, I'm feeling your pain! Frog x

  • luna2

    There were a couple of single sisters in my first congregation who were never shy about asking for help...everything from financial help to help moving. One sis in particular got the entire congregation (practically) to come out and move her entire household. She hadn't packed one box, hadn't cleaned, hadn't done anything before everybody got there, she hadn't rented a truck...she just expected it all to be done for her. She was very regular about attending the meetings and quite vocal...not a shrinking violet at all...and she sure got action.

    When I moved, I requested some help moving some of the larger furniture from my house to the truck I rented. I'd already done most of the work and didn't expect to take up more than maybe a half an hour of their time. A couple kind sisters showed up with their sons (ages 10 -16), which I was really grateful for, but no older brothers (let alone elders or ms's) at all. I was kind of hurt as this was the first and only time I'd ever asked for anything. I never asked for help from a congregation again.

    Looking back, I think the difference was that I was moving out of state and would no longer be a part of that congregation while the sister who had everybody show up to help her was moving a couple of blocks within town...they knew they'd have to face her for a long time to come. I think, too, that unless you were a very visible presence, it was easy for the "friends" to ignore you.

  • cyd0099

    Moving was always the worst...
    I went to help, because I am that kind of guy, but I would arrive and more often than not, there was virtually nothing ready. I was there to be a strong back and ended up wrangling the kids to pack up their toys, getting the brothers© out of the kitchen or away from the sisters®, and organizing the trucks just because I didn't want to waste what was left of my weekend watching people stand around with their fingers up their you know whats.

  • karen96

    When I was dub and me and my ex were moving, he had no trouble asking for help - there would be less for him to do! But when the guys put my sofa on top of the moving truck to bring it in on the second floor, I couldn't watch. They put the sofa on first, then moved the truck into position, and a bro was sitting on the sofa! It got up there ok, but geez, use a brain!


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