How do you deal with the constant strain?

by 24k 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • 24k

    Just last night, I had a JW relative visit from out of town. While dropping him off at his nightly accomadations, a drive of only about five minutes, he, of course, took the time to inquire about my lack of meeting attendance, my use of the NIV bible, and my recent trip to a Promise Keepers convention. With such a short drive ahead, I didn't really want to get into a long discussion, so I tried to keep it brief and non-confrontational. I simply explained that I did not share the Watchtower view, that most members of other religions cannot possibly have God's approval and blessing. That my personal experience lead me to appreciate the deep spiritual devotion that many people of varying religions possess. It was shortly after this that we arrived at our destination, and my relative exited the car. As he was leaving, he seemed as though he had more to say, so I invited him to give me a call later that evening if he wanted to talk. His exact words were, "I've heard all I need to know, that's the problem." I don't know if it was the way he said it, or the fact that I have been dealing with being a second class citizen among my family for so long, but his statment really hurt me. It was an emotional slam dunk!

  • Sirona

    Isn't it revealing that they cannot accept that people in other religions may be approved of by God?

    Whatever happened to "God judging peoples hearts"?

    You did well.


  • luna2

    It's always hard to be judged adversely. I'm fortunate in that none of my family is a JW so they are all delighted that I'm no longer active. I know, however, that if I run into any of my former friends from the KH and they say something negative, I will be probably be hurt and upset...even though I know they are the ones who are wrong about almost everything, are enslaved to a publishing corporation and are living a big fat lie.

  • jgnat

    Once in a while I run in to a judgemental person on the 'net who responds about the same to me. On their way out I've taken to asking them if they are "shaking the sand from their sandals", in other words, giving up on me. They always deny it. But I figure, fair is fair, might as well toss the misery back in their direction, give them something to think about.

    In the working world, we call this giving the monkey back. I've been working a long time. I know how to refuse to take on someone else's monkey.

    Oncken and Wass offer a well defined basic law for managing monkeys. It is:

    • At no time while I am helping you will your problem become my problem. The instant your problem becomes mine, you will no longer have a problem.

    • I cannot help someone who hasn't got a problem. You may ask my help at any appointed time, and we will make a joint determination of what the next move will be and who will make it.

    • Refusing to accept problems that subordinates try to delegate upward, and instead giving them opportunities to meet with you to "feed the monkey" is the best choice for both the monkey and for its keeper.

    • The employee who is closest to the problem usually has the knowledge and skill to solve the problem, if empowered to do so.

    • Consultations with the manager will serve to broaden perspective and offer new ways of seeing the problem.

    • As the employee feeds and eventually solves the problem, he or she learns important skills that make them more valuable to the organization and to the managers.

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