elders lack of love

by buffalosrfree 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • buffalosrfree
    buffalosrfree

    I have been thinking about a situation that happened some years ago prior to my becoming a jdub. I had met a man in a hospital in San Diego who was an invalid, he had no family there, and if it wasn't for a couple of local sisters, he wouldn't have had anyone to visit or talk with him. He was to remain in the hospital until his death some months later. My wife along with two other sisters were visiting him there, I went on a visit with my wife to meet him. I thereafter stopped by and visited with him on an almost daily basis, he had family but no one close mileage wise. He loved God very much and really missed association with the so called brothers from the congregation. After talking with the elders he was able to get the meeting piped into his room via the phone. He enjoyed these very much, again however none of the elders from the local congregatons ever came up to visit with him, even those from the congregation that arranged to have him hear the meetings. The hospital was to take my name phone and address as his point of contact if anything happened this was a stituation very important for him.

    to make a long story short, I received a phone call one evening from the hospital, he had taken a turn for the worse and they didn't believe that he would last much longer, I visited him there got all the facts, called and notified the PO the book study conductor and two other elders. I called his son let him know what had happened with what I was doing. He had been also notified by the hospital. Now this is where the love of the elders and congregation came in, His son not well to do himself, needed somewhere for him and his family to stay if possible, I brought this up with the elders and none volunteered to help. My wife and I bit the bullet and told them they were welcome to stay with us for however long they needed to, to see this through with his dad.

    Arrangements were made with his son and we were awaiting there arrival, he his son lived some 800 miles from us. Well I did receive a call one evening prior to son's arrival and they said He (Herman give his first name here) wasn't going to make it through the night. My wife and I immediately left went to the hospital and sat there with him until he passed away some five hours later. I notified the PO and the same elders that I had previously notified land they couldn't be bothered none, I mean none of them showed up at the hospital to offer any sort of spiritual comfort or anything. Just me my wife and a friend of my wife were the only ones who showed up. When he died we went home, had a cry, and prayed for him. This sat off major alarms in my head about these bastard elders and there total lack of love and care about another jdub. I should have known then and there that this wasn't Jehovah's org but I was alittle brain dead then too. well enough I guess we all know about the total lack of love of the elders well it wasn't love in Herman's situation and its not love now. Buff

  • hippikon
    hippikon

    In our area elders are "Apointed" to visit the /jWs in hospital.Ha they had to be told / orderd!

  • MadApostate
    MadApostate

    Just like many of us can relate incidents of pedofiles inside the cong, and their similar handling by the elders, I also know a situation where a lifelong JW lingered in a nursing home for years with only an occasional visit from a small handful of friends, despite the nursing home being at the intersection of 4 cong territories.

    The common denominator with Org treatment, whether you are young or old, pedafile or not, is ARE you attending all the meetings and reporting your 10 hours?

    Its just like working for a large corporation. If you are a team player as far as helping the people above you to meet their performance objectives, then they love you and will look the other way so long so your activity doesn't cause them probs with their supervisors. If you can't help them meet their performance goals they ignore you. If you won't help meet their goals, they fire (df) you!

    ITS A BUSINESS FOLKS!!! Cloaked in the rags of religion.

  • Moxy
    Moxy

    yeah, stuff like this happens. ive certainly seen lots of counter-examples tho too. people in old age homes who are the envy of their room-mates because of all the friends they have visiting, thanks to the elders keeping informed on these individuals. in fact, generally speaking, one elder on the body is supposed to be assigned to Special Needs, and he keeps track of all these situation in the territory. that makes sense to me and i dont see it as negating the individual responsibility to 'look after windows' to have a structure in place.

    one interesting story:

    an elderly sister with no family in the truth was housed in one of these homes for a long time. in the city, people come and go a lot and so after a while, not many people in the congregation even now who she is. people like this can fall thru the cracks, for sure. well, anyways the family has a minister of some other church come by for encouragement and the elderly sister, in her state, doesnt really know the difference. ("Oh Welcome brother. How nice of you to visit...") This continues for a while, the elders only later became aware. Turns out when the sister started towards the end, she asked for the funeral to be conducted by this 'nice young brother that comes to visit' and so it was. elders could hardly object, they hadnt been there nearly as often.

    mox

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Hippy,
    The hospital visitation program is akin to the chaplains of various other denominations. It still doesn't excuse a local elder, say the CBSC from visiting one of his group in hospital.

    MadApostate,
    You've hit on something here! Many many times I've observed that older shut-ins become forgotten people. In time the congregation (remember there's a high turnover in each cong) don't know the ones who don't get to the meetings. Very few elders make the effort to ensure that the isolated brother/sister is kept involved in cong life. How pleasant it would be for the shut-ins to think that they are needed and appreciated. But it happens rarely. As one brother, himself an elder for around 50 years and still serving said to me, "We feel we just don't belong anymore."

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "There are two ways of moving men, interest and fear" Napoleon

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